Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Do Nice Girls Finish Last?


Once I was a nice altruistic & loving woman. I obeyed my parents. I graduated from a top tier university and created a financially rewarding career. I worked hard and enjoyed life. I have traveled to over 50 countries. I loved & respected others based on their character and nothing else. I always maintained my appearance, never drank, never smoked, never did drugs, never depended on a man & was never promiscuous.

I prided myself on my size 4 figure, flawless skin and long healthy hair. I look about a decade younger then my chronological age. In my 20’s I was married for a short time to a wealthy investment banker in New York. The marriage was initially good but soon discovered he was bipolar. I left and divorced him soon after. I had a good relationship with an Irishman for a few years. We ended it as friends. I did not want to move to Dublin permanently.

I have only been with two men sexually. I am not frigid, a religious fanatic, fat, ugly or deformed. I have always believed sex should be within marriage or at the very least in a mutually loving stable relationship. I have never had a yeast infection, a std, suffered sexual abuse, become pregnant or faced the many woes women who are very sexually promiscuous have to experience. I was disciplined & resisted instant gratification. 95% of me feels comfortable with my life decisions. I avoided a lot of BS women go through in the effort to have “love” or a “man” in their life.

The remaining 5% of me thinks maybe I should have been open to children, willing to sleep with the firm’s partner, sleep with married men in power, willing to have a threesome, willing to date younger men who were attracted to me, accept a man’s jaded sexual past who was reformed and good to me & not reject him. Then I think would I be in denial or an emotional basket case like many women are who take the devil may care attitude. I do not know. We all make choices.

What I have learned is that MOST MEN want a woman dependent on them in some way preferably financially whether they are willing to admit it or not. Most men are not interested in having a smart mate. They only want you to look good & play the arm candy. Most men do not care about your accomplishments. They want to fuck you. Most men want to play the “hero” & solve the problems. They do not want a partner who can solve the problems and avoid the damsel in distress scenario.

It does not pay to be a nice girl in life. Nice girls are boring, lonely, unappreciated and unloved.
Maybe I should have been a whore or a gold digging selfish woman.

Yours truly,

Single lonely 39 year old woman

Monday, December 13, 2010

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 16

Hey Everyone,

Sorry I have been sick all week, and finally have recovered enough to do a new post.  I hope everyone is doing well, and getting psyched about Christmas and the holidays.  I have almost finished my shopping, and even started wrapping last night-so I do not feel as stressed as I usually do around the holidays.

I am also excited because it is my birthday on Friday-but I have not come up with anything to do-so please give me some ideas-I am not much of a club kind of girl, so it makes it difficult.

My song for today is another one by the Dixie Chicks, and it is one of my favorites, but it is quite sad.  The video is amazing, and anyone I talk to has a different interpretation for the song.  I would love to hear your idea of what this song is about, just comment below.

Mine is that I think it is about child abuse, but I am not going to say anymore until you tell me what you guys think it is about....

I hope you like it as much as I do...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

List of Shit Women Need to Know-Bad Language Warning

Queen,  I saw your FUCK MEN day post, and here is my rebuttle...

(Oh geesh-I knew I had this coming-Queen)

Before I commence, let me say that I am a happily married man. My wife and I work well as a team and enjoy a really good sex life. I am writing this as I see some of my single male friends and what they are going through and I am taking this as THEIR POV for all you complaining women out there who think you are the most beautiful, sexiest, smartest babe around who can walk on water and whose pussy never smells funny. While you are beautiful, you better start paying attention to this shit below.

List of Shit Women Need to Know.

Hey, you know that saying “I have the pussy so I make the rules”…yeah well that’s total bullshit. There are a lot more women out there who are nice, are pretty, and don’t hold that shit over our heads. If you really are staunch about that “I have the..” bullshit, you’ll more than likely end up making those rules with your vibrator.

Stop complaining and doing nothing at all about it. That’s the lamest shit ever…and don’t go on with how tired you are running the kids around. Do you think that the man at work is not freaking out with the responsibility of making bacon for you and the kids? No wonder men die earlier.

Here’s an important one, when I ask you a question, and it’s legitimately a yes or no type of thing, answer yes or no. Example, “honey, do I need to empty the dishwasher?”…The right answer is yes or no….here is an example of the WRONG answer “well, it’s not going to empty itself” (and inserting the rolling eyes adds even more insult to injury). Here’s a clue, men don’t just think about porking every hot babe there is, we have a shitload of stuff on our minds. The bills, the car, the dogs, the yard, the job…tons of shit. So when we ask, it’s for real because we do want to help, but many times were not sure of the status. Oh yeah, fuck you and the idea that we should just get up and do it, how many times have we started something with the assumption that it’s ready to be done, only to be stopped and asked why the hell we are doing that? So answer the fucking question, we’ll get up or stop what we are doing and empty the dishwasher.

Now driving, yeah, you’re worse at it. Want to know why, you’re easily distracted. STOP pointing out every little dumb ass thing on the side of the road that we have seen 100 damn times. Stop trying to do the relationship talk while your feet are supposed to be on the gas and brake pedal, but not both at the same time. Don’t get to the end of a merge lane and THEN just start to look left to merge. Christ…pay attention! I’m totally serious, why you think that now is a good time to start an intense conversation about Jenny’s boyfriend being an asshole or how your boss keep looking down your shirt while navigating downtown rush hour is beyond anyone with a smidge of a brain. No fucking wonder you get stupid at shiny things!

So let’s get some shit straight….

1 – We love you, stop acting like a demented Rottweiler

2 – Answer us directly, we have shit on our minds too and need help remembering shit if it needs to get done.

3 – Stop playing holdout sex games. It WILL drive men away and they will either dump your ass for a new hottie or do it behind your back, or we will become asshole grouses just like you. Enjoy sex and be what your partner wants and he sure will do his damndest to do the same for you.

4 – Trust me, men give you LOTS of breaks, and it’s time you recognized it. Men may be from Mars and women from Venus but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t understand that we are both in space and our gravitational fields relate to each other.

5 – Chill the fuck out OK? We’ll all get along better

Monday, November 29, 2010

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 15

Yo yo yo!
Wow, some crazy rants here eh?  That last one made me want to jump through my computer and give that poor girl a hug and a ride to the airport-no one deserves to be treated like that!  I find it amazing what a  man can do to a woman.  The way they can make us feel, and make us think that we are the most wonderful people on the face of the earth one day... and the worst people the next.  I hate to say this, but they almost brainwash us, and we flutter on their every word.  I hate this, but I hate to say that I do it too.  I am sure I am not the only one either, speak up ladies, don't be shy.

This next song goes out to all of these women.  It took me some time to figure out what Florence is trying to convey with this song, but lets say it hit me like a bullet in the head.  Perhaps that's what she wanted... us to make us our own meaning for the song.  Well this is what I came up with... us women need to take care of ourselves, as happiness can change in a matter of minutes.  We work like dogs to try and please the men in our lives, and for what?  It does not really get us anywhere in the long run, usually we end up with broken hearts, or worse-broken jaws.

So today I say fuck men, fuck them and the horse they rode in on.  We don't need them for anything.  I change my own oil-and I take out my own trash.  If I really need something handy done... I know that there are good people lurking around that will do things for me because they are good people, not because I did the dishes so they have to fix my car, or better yet because we are sleeping together.  We either pay for their help in one way or another, they are not genuine feelings of gratuity.

So today I mark November 29th as FUCK MEN DAY.  I am sure us women deserve our own fuck women day, but we will leave that to some sour man to create.

Enjoy this song everyone-I just found her even though she has been around for awhile, and I hope you love her as much as I do!


Friday, November 26, 2010

A Positive Rant-There Are Good People In This World


I simply must take this opportunity to tell you that despite the fact my blog focuses on mostly negative rants, sometimes a rave is in order.  Today is that day.  I want to send a shout out to Tom Boos of Vancouver, BC for showing me that there are good people left in this world.

This morning I pulled up to get gas at my local Petro Canada, and there was a line up to get gas.  Once I was finished fueling I jumped back in my van, started the engine, and nothing...  That's not all, my alarm was making this weird noise every few seconds, drawing even more attention to me as I held up everyone trying to gas up behind me.

I immediately got on my phone with 'the man' as he is quite the handy man.  It was early and so I had to call a couple times to wake his ass up, and when I did he was like 'what do you want me to do..." -ass!

So he says to ask the gas guy if he has a wrench, so I ask, and he says there is a mechanic shop next door and they probably have one, so I went over, but then I remembered I left my purse in my open van, so I went back-I looked like a chicken with my head cut off, running around... clueless.

On my way back to my car, a gentleman asked me if I needed a wrench, as he must have over heard me ask the gas guy.  I said "yes, but I don't know what to do with it".  The man is on the phone on one ear, and this guy on the other, so I told my man I had to go as I could not talk to two people at once.

You see I get really panicked in these situations, I think it is out of embarrassment, and I do not know why I care about what these people think of me-I will likely never see any of them again, but the man gets mad when I get all panicky and shriek on the phone in his ear, so I did not mind hanging up to speak with this nice calm gentleman with the wrench.

We walked over to my car, and he fiddled with a few things and asked me to start it.  Poof-she started no problem.  I said "how did you do that?" and he told me that my battery posts are loose and dirty, so he showed me what to do if it happens again.

Then he gave me the wrench, and I said no no-thats okay.  He said no take it-trust me-this will happen again until you take it in and get those tightened and cleaned.  So I accepted the wrench, and I told him-I owe him one-can I by ya a beer or something?  He said no but let me give you my card-and just tell your friends about me-I said so you are a mechanic, and he replied that too, I do it all.  His card read-handyman. 

He is right though-he is that too, because not only is he a handyman, mechanic and cleaner, but he was my little miracle for the day.

So thank-you Tim Boos-YOU ROCK!  You showed me there are good people left in this world.  I will tell everyone I know about you, and now I know what to do if it happens again.  You know what they say... teach a man to fish and he will at for a year, or some shit.

Tim taught me to fish, and now I am proud to be human again!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My Secret

ok so i'm married i have been for 3 years now and honestly I HATE IT!
my husband is the biggest jerk in the world he yells at me degrades me and cares more about his materialistic things than me....or his daughter (who is 3 months old btw)

i just dont know what to do, i cant just leave him (i had my daughter 3 months ago and now im fat no one else would want some fat girl) and to make matters worse i support him he doesnt work nor has he ever when i met him he lived with his parents and 5 months later he was living with me and still is.
I just feel lost and confused when i got pregnant with my daughter i was so excited and two months later we were set to go to the first ultra sound and the night before the ultra sound he gave me a story about how he needed to rush to his moms (which is over an hour away) and stay there for a few months because she was having serious health problems, i was hurt but i understood. Then a few days later i talked to his mom on the phone when i called for him and she was asking me why he needed to be there and asked me how I planned on paying her for him staying there....I asked her what he told her and she told me that he told her that he just needed to get away.

So i ask him and like every other time he gets caught in a lie he flips out and yells and screams until the cops come... so then i play it off like nothing is wrong and put on a happy face for the cops (not that i did anything illegal or anything but to save his ass). So on christmas my parents got us matching IPod touches and in february i was playing on mine and apparently he asked me a question and i didnt answer so he grabbed my IPod and threw it against the wall (several times) and broke it ok so he still plays on his all the time, im not allowed to touch his but im fine with that seeing how im always working or taking care of my baby one day his goes off and its some 17 year old girl named "melissa wright" and she is talking about having sex with him and getting married to him so i pick it up and message her back and tell her that hes married and she messages me back and says i know babe when are you going to tell her that your moving with me ( i never said who i was when i messaged her) a month after that my baby was crying (i had just worked 18 hours) he woke me up and said "arent you going to get your kid" so i say "shes yours too cant you get her" and he said "FUCK" and jumps up and gets her then he throws the baby wipes against the wall and breaks them open. So obviously being a mother i get up fearing for my baby and tell him not to worry about it and i take over and he goes to bed and at this point he chooses to sleep in the guest bedroom so that the baby doesnt disturb him anymore.

so tonight i hugged him and he dropped his IPod (on the carpet in the living room) and he starts yelling at me telling me what a worthless bitch i am.

And to make matters worse his mom and dad are getting a divorce and his mom doesnt have a job so i have been paying her bills too and she just talks about me all the time and even made him think it was okay to physically abuse me.

I work constantly and feel like i have a dark secret that only me and my now 3 month baby know.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 14

Hey Y'all-I cannot freakin believe that looking back I have not put up one single song by this group, so I MUST share this one with you asap. 

Now I know this group has some problems with some Americans, but you need to stop blaming this group-music is a form of free speech, and you know what-in the end these ladies were right-they stood by their beliefs even if it meant their own demise.  Not only does there music protest some very important issues-but it will truly touch your soul.  Whether it is the banjo, thefiddle or that amazing voice-this song will bring a tear to your eye... and hopefully put things in perspective for you, through good times or bad. 

What I hope you all leave with from this song-is never back down from something you believe in-and if you contemplate doing that... listen to these gals-and they will show you the way!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Abortion-From A Man's Perspective

Please forgive me if this upsets anyone, that was not my intention-this guy has obviously put a lot of thought into this rant, and so I want to give him the opportunity to post it-as I do not see many men with the ability to show their emotions like this.


First let me start by saying I am male, that being said. I am at a complete loss as to why you see all these men taking a stand on abortion. The way I look at it is, I do not want anyone man or woman telling me what I can or cannot do with my body. Our bodies are the only thing that's really ours, and we all should be allowed to choose how we take care of it, or abuse it, or end it.

I do not want a bunch of women getting together and coming up with rules on how I take care of my body, and telling me that it doesn't matter what I feel is best for me they know whats best for me.

People talk about a fathers rights, how men should be able to stop a woman from aborting a child that they conceived. Ok bullshit, if the woman didn't tell the man he would have never ever known.

Lots of people say that because we have legalized abortion in this great country it has destroyed American families, its an easy way out of a serious life changing event. I disagree, women have been second class citizens for long enough, if a woman wants to go out and have sex with lots of guys she should be able to without having to think twice what other men are going to think of her. We men do it and we don't have the added responsibility of possibly getting pregnant. Most all of us have been there at least once being head over heels for some girl, or some girl is head over heels for some guy. You talk all the time cant wait to see each other and then after you have sex with them you realize you don't really like them that much. I know the religious of those out there are gonna get all up in arms and say something like you should know that person your going to have sex with spiritually and love them on a spiritual level then sex is not important the extremists are going to say that sex was never meant to be for fun its only done to procreate.

All horseshit, just a bunch of propaganda. I think those lies were all started by men to cover up the fact that they were lazy and selfish in bed. Then of course women got smart and used those lies against men. Saying things like we just did it last week ( but what they are really saying is; your a worthless screw I get more satisfaction from a shower head, or Sancho the gardener.)

Who wins in this battle of the sexes, Those girls and guys that actually do respect each other as equals in all aspects of the relationship, and if they are smart they will tell the same tired ol stories that everyone complains about. He doesn't treat me like he used to, or she wont go down on me anymore. She is always out shopping, he always has his nose in the TV blah blah blah. Ladies if you have a good man at home that's treating you right don't tell your girlfriends and fella's if you have a lady at the house that is a complete tramp in the bedroom but a straight laced lady out of it, don't tell your buddies. If you try to tell everyone how green it is on your side of the fence ladies and gents your setting yourselves up for a whole lotta peoples trying to jump the fence into your yard.

I digress, My point is, as men we have no right to choose whats best for a woman. I saw this on a bumper sticker that I thought said it all pretty good. "If you cant trust me with a choice how can you trust me with a baby". I think we have all seen it at least once if your over 30 that is (Cause lets face it when your in your twenties you really don't pay to much attention to other people's kids), where you see people that have kids, and you think those poor kids. You have to have a license to own a dog, but anyone can have kids how screwed up is that.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 13

Hey Y'all,

Still really effin busy over here, but never to busy for a little music therapy.  Here is song 13 of the Relationship Rant Playlist, let me know what you think!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The BF and The TP

OMG guys this is a doosy, be careful there is explicit language, and I can almost hear this woman's teeth grinding... I am scared... very scared!  Read on if you dare.


Ok, here goes...we live together, and have a for quite a few years now...*mostly* happily, but this relationship is not without it's fair share of problems.

First, he's a slob, regarding clutter, and I'm fucking fed up with it.
The cleaner I am, the sloppier he is. Fucker can't even change the roll of T.P. in our bathroom because he says he's "too busy". This is a universal man problem I know. What is with you guys that you can't take LITERALLY 30 seconds to change the fucking roll of T.P.?

Ok, I admit, I am an anally retentive neat freak of the highest order! I long for my single days, living alone. When I lived alone, my apartment was IMMACULATE at all times of the day or night. I LOVED coming home with no cleaning to do. Perfect cleanliness and order everyday! This shit actually makes me fucking HAPPY!! The only clutter I had was my ass on my clean couch! I could invite any random man I wanted over, to my CLEAN place, have the sex I wanted and needed without all this damn headache of having to clean up after a man!

I had a patio with beautiful plants and flowers, there was no dust. My bed was always neatly made, no water spots on my sink or mirrors, no junk drawers full of crap, my closets were organized, no dirty dishes in my sink ever existed. I clean up after myself. It's not hard. Things stay clean when you ARE CLEAN! People who live like slobs, baffle me. How can anyone live like that????? Isn't it embarrassing????? It is a reflection on YOU. If your home is dirty and sloppy, that is what people will think and believe of you! I can't count how many people, friends invite me over, and always I enjoy great company....but if their house stinks, I am secretly disgusted!!!!!!!

Now, my patio is filled with power tools, boxes of his garbage, from one end to the other, cement to ceiling, with not a clean spot out there. If I clean it up, the crap MAGICALLY appears there the next fucking day, and I have to start over.

I feel like that old 70's T.V. show now..."Sanford & Son". Might as well be the local trash dump. It's embarrassing to me when we have guests. We look like white trash in a trailer park with all his fucking crap. If I ask him to clean his crap, he'll politely say he'll "get around to it" while he parks his ass, on my couch playing video games. This fuck of a bf is 46 yrs. old, and I am 41. If I wanted a kid, I would have one, but I remain happily childless for a reason. I want a man, not a child who can't clean up after himself. I want a partner, not a fucking sloppy child playing video games 24/7 This shit alone makes me want to dump him. I figure dumping him would be like taking out the trash. I can have my "clutter free" life back.

I'd like to say that the sex is FANTASTIC, and it is...when we have it. I never met a man in my life before him who was a prude in bed. He's a prude. a FRIGID fucking prude! I want sex all the time, he is happy with only "once a month". Nope, he's not gay. If he was, he wouldn't be such a slob. At least gay men are neat about their shit...I'll give them that!!!

It's not like he's not attracted to me anymore either. Oh, he is....and my man is too lazy and too pussy to even cheat on me if he was unsatisfied. What a big ass pussy, and I've lost all respect for him because of this reason. He don't even own his own ball-sack!

My man is also a SUCKER. He has SUCKER written all over his forehead, and it's pathetic! Last night some drugged out, young man came to our door. If you saw this guys eyeballs, they were bloodshot and dilated. He BEGGED my bf for money at our door "shaking" like he was going through withdrawals, and needed his "fix". He told my bf it was for a magazine subscription. My stupid bf was ready to hand over his entire wallet to this druggie kid when I stepped in and stopped it. I asked this kid to show proof, i.d "anything".... He had none. I politely told him to try another place, as we have no money to give..(lie) and my bf got IRATE!!!

Could you believe this started a fight?!
My bf said I was a bitch, because I was looking out for him, and didn't want to see his SUCKER-ASS get ripped by a drug addled kid who was scamming him. Sometimes I think I am smarter than him. Sometimes I KNOW I AM, and last night was one of those times!

We went to bed in silence. He snored, and farted in bed...fucking "lovely". I moved my ass to the least it didn't stink like farts there, and I could sleep in peace without all the damn snoring. When I woke up, I had to nail the roof back on, his snoring and farting was sooooo bad! DISGUSTING!

lot's of hot sex, has needs, etc., and if I can't have a "grown-up man" who is my "intellectual equal", fun to be with, conversate with, whom can make me laugh, who is not a "sucker" or a "pussy", who has more ambition in this life to do anything else but play video games at the age of 46, has BALLS, *MAJOR BALLS* than I'll be happy to grow old and alone single!!!!! I can have and do have "plenty" of toys to do this job, it's just gets old without intelligent conversation and someone to enjoy a good home-cooked meal, and outing, a road trip, with or even breakfast!!!

Yeah...I might just dump this man, go back to being single, have my shit in order the way I like, and hell....adopt 5 cats, so SUE ME!!!! Cats are cleaner than men anyway. At least they shit a box, bury their turds and well, only have to change the damn litter!

Having 5 cats sure seem better than having a "sloppy man" who can't take care of himself, and isn't into much sex anyway!!!!
Sometimes, this whole scenario looks better than growing old with some slob of a man, who sucks in bed, sucks out my whole life-blood, and my happiness, and can't change the god-damned roll of T.P.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rant over!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 12

Well my awesome followers, readers, searchers, and who ever else is visiting my site this fine Monday morning.... You are just in time for our next addition to the Relationship Rant Playlist.  A series of songs that will get anyone through a tough day, a harsh break up or anything else in between.

This is my second Alanis song-but if anyone knows a break up-its her.  Her music is empowering yet emotional and even heart breaking at times... I think that is why I like it so much.

I hope you all had a great weekend, and mine was filled with some much needed relaxation, and some mouse hunting, which I will get into later. 

Been having a look to see what you all have been up to in the last couple weeks.... you guys have such exciting lives!


Thursday, November 4, 2010

Follow Up to "Why Am I Here?"

Well my wonderfuls, as promised here is the very first follow up to a rant that I got back in June called Why Am I Here.... thanks to all of your wonderful advice here is how her life has changed....

First let me say thank you, for giving me the opportunity to anonymously tell you my problems, with little judgement.  Thank you to your commenter's, as they changed the way I thought, and got me out of what could have been a downwards spiral.

You will be happy to know that since June, my life has been a 360 degree turn around.  I met the best man in the world, and we are engaged.  He has connected me with family, friends and we have a dog. 

I could not be happier, and laugh when I think back to how unhappy I was.  I gave up looking for love and then it stumbled upon me when I least expected it-in other words you were right.

Life is what we make of it, and in the end we can only judge our own happiness and change our lives, but part of me feels like I have your blog to thank.  I know I am happy, and that you all helped me, so I am forever thankful for this.

It does not matter how many people we have around us, what mattes is the quality of those relationships.  I know this now, and even though I may revisit those times every once and awhile, they have made me stronger, and gave me a yearning to grow up.

Thank-you again, and take care.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Help Save My Boring Relationship

Queen and Followers,
My boyfriend and I are about to celebrate our 2 yr anniversary, when last night he tells me that he's not happy. That maybe we need our space, so we can give ourselves room to grow. He said that he feels like he isn't able to grow and expand and express himself freely. He was talking about having no motivation and wondering why he's even living right now. He said he should have motivation to make a better life for us, but "Look at us, our home life, it's boring. This isn't what I want." It felt like one dagger to the heart over and over and over again as he revealed what had been going on inside of him. This isn't the first time that he has mentioned us getting separate apartments and that there's no excitement and we're not living life to the fullest. BUT in my defense he doesn't even like to leave the house. I try to find things for us to do & sometimes he's up for it and sometimes not. I try to make life entertaining, but anymore he just wants to stay home. It seems to happen when a series of events occurs.....too much stress at work (which has been pretty constant lately), listening to too much Alex Jones (this guy makes me want to end my life) & not a lot of sex going on in the bedroom. As the saying goes....when the sex is great, it is only 10% of the relationship, but when it's not great, it is 90% of the relationship. I have a low libido and I've tried things to rev it up, but I'm not having much luck. I've even gone off my birth control pills to try to bring it back. I had a tubal so no fear of pregnancy, thank God considering where I'm sitting this morning.

I don't know what to do at this point. I feel so confused. He tells me that he believes I'm the one and that we're going to be together, then he tells me he needs his space and we don't have enough in common, then I'm the one, then he needs his space. This morning when I brought this up he says "Well don't you want me to say nice things? And if I'm not consistent, don't you think that means you better have a Plan B if things aren't going to work?"

Mon - Fri we have approximately 4 hrs together (give or take) I come home, do dishes, get dinner ready, we eat, we try to relax, we shower & we go to bed. Yes, this is boring, but what are we supposed to do EXCITING in this short span of time. He says we're not making the most of it. What could we be doing differently? He says we don't talk, but he always has Alex Jones on and I know that's how he relaxes, so why would I try to take this away from him or interrupt it?? He says we don't have the same interests, but lately his interest have been Alex Jones (again this guy scares me out of my mind) and his work (our jobs are completely unrelated).

Our lease is up in May so it sounds like he's willing to give us this time to figure things out. I want us to stay together. I just don't know what to do right now. A huge part of me wants to believe that it's just his job really stressing him out. I mean this job is literally sucking the life out of him. It's all he thinks about and all he does. Of course, come the weekend he doesn't want to do anything...he's drained, but I think he fails to see that then it turns around on me, that we're not exciting.

Happy do you make life exciting??? Help me save my relationship!!!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Sorry everyone that I have been MIA for the last few days.  I have too many projects on the go... but do not worry I thank you all for sticking by me through this busy time, and I cant wait to get back to blogging. 

I have some catching up to do with all of you, and I cannot wait to hear what you guys have been up to over the past week or two.

I hope you all had a great Halloween, and just in case you were wondering I got lots of kids, and I did not even have to lure them in with a trail of candy in front of my house. 

Now I have to clean up all my decorations....

PS-Does anyone know an easy way to get that fake spider web stuff off all my trees and railing? LOL



Monday, October 25, 2010

Relationship Rant-PLAYLIST Song 11

Wowee, it is Monday, and Halloween is quickly approaching. I decorated the house over the weekend so hopfully the kiddies are taking notes on who is likely going to give them the most candy... 

I hope you all had a amazing weekend, and that this Monday is not too busy for you to find a few minutes to enjoy song 11 of my Relationship Rant playlist.

I just discovered this gal, but she has been around for awhile.  If you are a Grey's Anatomy fan then you have likely heard some of her stuff.  I found her by fate- is what I believe, because she is great, and now I get to share my favorite song of hers with all of my wonderful visotors.

Her name is Brandi Carlile, and she is a triple threat in that she can sing, play a mean guitar and the piano as well.  I am sure she does other stuff well too, but those three I know for sure.

She reminds me of a few different artists all rolled into one, and some of my favorites, which is probably why I like her so much.  She reminds me of Pink, Janis Joplin, Johnny Cash, and Adele.  I do not know how to describe her music, I would have to say folk rock soul?  Perhaps I created a new category of music. 

So what do you think about Brandi Carlile?  What would you classify her music as?  I would love some feedback from y'all on this hidden gem...

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Relationship Poll

Well I just got five new followers overnight!  That is amazing since I have not had a new follower in a while and bam I got five... SO in order to welcome my new peeps, I think I will do a poll today so we can all get to know each other a little better...

So all my amazing followers.... what is the most romantic thing that has been done for you, or you have done for someone else?

I will go first, however, the men I have had in my life have been on the less romantic side... but a couple of years ago, 'the man' gave me a love letter and it was very special, I still have it, and before that he made me a romantic cd which was also up there on my list.

... The most romantic thing I have ever done... well I would say it is when I wrote 'the man' a poem called 'message in a bottle' and I put it in a bottle for him to find... kinda corny I know...

Now it is your turn...

PS-Keep it up with the awesome comments-you guys rock- and the advice is greatly appreciated... Soon I will post some of the ranters thank-yous and follow ups.... MUAH!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Begging To Be Caught

I am single and dating a man who is living with another woman. I met him while traveling for work at a client site. In a nutshell, that's the background-he is cheating.

Before he left for work the other day, he asked me if he can have my underwear??? I mean, I thought that was a weird request. But I was like, “um, okay”. He said he misses me so much that he wanted something of mine. I suggested taking my fuckin’ luggage too, that way I don’t have to pack lol. He insisted he only wanted my (used) underwear and thanked me for the offer of my luggage.

Anyway, I guess he brought my underwear home and he said he tucked it in the back of his closet – where it has resided for …a long time. About a month ago, his girlfriend asked him to pick up the dry cleaning. He said it was a weird request because he has only picked it up once before during their entire relationship. He gets to the dry cleaners and at the very front of all the dry cleaning was that pair of underwear. He thought he was so slick by just throwing it out – I told him she is sending you a message…The message being SHE KNOWS YOU ARE FUCKING AROUND!!!

Don’t you think his girlfriend knows and was sending him a message? Bringing home my underwear? He is begging to be caught!!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Halloween Poll & Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 10

I hope you all had a greaaattt weekend, and that this Monday is treating you well. 

I had a good weekend, and got my yard looking acceptable for all the trick or treators that will be trotting up and down my street at the end of the month.

FYI-I love Halloween, perhaps because I love seeing all the kiddies dressed up and begging for the sweet stuff!  Last year I got a group of 6 princesses all of which were between the ages of 1-4, soooo cute.  This year I am going to try and dress my puppies up, put the scary music on and try to rope a few more in.

When I lived on a very busy street I would not get any kids, so I would go as far as standing outside my gate putting a trail of candy leading to my house, even that did not work, but maybe they thought my tactic was strange enough to warrant a potential poisoning??? 

Anyways, I love Halloween, and I think it is because I never got a chance to do it when I was young, well not until I was about 9, but by then the damage was done.  So I do my best to get everyone in the spirit, and I give anyone who comes to my door at least ten candies each... yes I spoil them in a hope that they will remember me and come back year after year, and tell all of their friends about my generosity.

Just curious though... what do you all do to attract or distract children from your house on Halloween???

Anywho, it is playlist time y'all, and I have a special song for you, that hopefully many of you have never heard.  If you have never heard of Sia, then check her stuff out, it is fabulous-the whole CD, and her newest one too.

Friday, October 15, 2010

To My Boob Job Girlfriend

To My Beautiful Mexican Girlfriend:

I hope you enjoy the new boobs, that I helped to buy for you.
I didn't know you were going to leave, especially after all I did for you.
especially after supporting you for 2 years, helping you get legal, and even helping your mom get legal.

But this is not about posting bail for your brother, loaning your niece 1400 bucks or moving your apartment 3 times.  This is about you, about us. I miss you, and I do not even know why after you left me.  Did you find something better?  Were you with someone else while we were together?  I thought we were happy, I did everything to make you happy.

I think you were just using me, I do not even know if you ever cared about me or if it was all just lies.

I have been drinking every day, I'm so depressed. Depressed knowing how much I loved you.  I have so many questions, and you have not given me any answers.  Will I ever see you again?

It's been 6 months now, I cannot snap out of it. I do not know if I ever will?

But of course you could care less.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 9

My lovelies... I am flabbergasted at your AMAZING comments on the last few posts, some longer and more insightful then the darn post itself!!!
But hey that's why I love ya!

I hope you guys had a fabulous weekend, I did because it was long, and I got to see my family.  It was so hard to say goodbye, but boy did it feel good to come home too.

I am one day behind schedule so I am going to do the Relationship Rant Playlist, and catch up on the rants for tomorrow.

This song is dear to my heart.   I love it and CANNOT wait until Adele comes out with a new CD, which I hear she is working on.

She took the world and our hearts by storm, so without further ado, here is Hometown Glory, which fits in perfectly with my long weekend, where I went to my hometown, a small little village in the interior of British Columbia with roughly 800 people living there, and not a single stop light.

It is where I first fell in love, and a piece of me will always live there.... in the wind, my highschool halls and those back country roads...


Friday, October 8, 2010

What I Am Thankful For...

Happy Friday all-and if you are Canadian like me-have Happy Thanksgiving and have a great long weekend.

To celebrate this holiday, I am going to attempt to tell you a few things I am thankful for...

I am thankful for...

My man-who through our ups and downs still makes my heart beat....

My family-who even though they are crazy at times-I love them unconditionally....

My dogs-because without you my world would be so boring, and my bed would be.... comfortable and hairless???

Having a roof over my head, food in my fridge and clothes on back which makes me better off then 75% of the world.

My friends... who some are suffering and some are happy and we have eachother through all of it-that includes you my fellow bloggers.

My job, because even though it is not my life long dream to do what I do-I feel appreciated for doing it.

My TV shows because you make my life feel way more interesting then it really is.

Wine-because even just a glass of you makes me feel better after a bad day.

Video games-because you numb my mind when it needs to be numbed.

My music-because you can make me feel every single emotion when I listen to you.

NOW-its your turn folks... what are you thankful for and my lovely American readers, feel free to contribute.



Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Baby Weight Challenge

Hey Queen,

I'm a twenty something woman. I got knocked up by a friend with benefits and we have tried the relationship thing and for the most part do a good job.

Recently he gave me a letter telling me he is only "somewhat attracted to me now" since having the baby, and that our main issue is my new weight. I know my body has changed... I gave birth less than a year ago. I got an elliptical trainer and when I work out he sits and eats pizza and entire boxes of Pudding in front of me, and refuses to get healthy together. He isn't exactly a ball full of fitness himself, and I'm not sure exactly where he gets off saying these things to me, but I want to at least understand it.

I've included the part of the letter that bothers me the most for you to read and a before and after shot. I'm not a LOT heavier... but we also got pregnant at the peak of my fitness when I was getting accepted into a career that required me to be very physically fit.

I'm feeling very discouraged, but I can handle the truth. What is your take on it?... please be blunt. I need to understand why this is happening. In terms of how much weight I have gained, its a solid 20 lbs.
the letter
"A big issue between us is your weight and I understand its hard with just having a baby and a husband who doesn't help all the time. I am still somewhat sexually attracted to you but it has diminished with your weight. This is a big issue because I do want to have that awesome looking wife that is the total package and I totally think that could be you. I want you to be that wife that everyone looks at and says "he's lucky" and I know I have some of it right now with your personality and all you need is fine tuning"

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I Am A Virgin


I'm a 25 year old female virgin. Completely by choice, I've had plenty of opportunities and a few boyfriends who have wanted to take it there. I've come close, but am definitely still a virgin. I've recently been told by some friends of mine that essentially "I'm too old to be a virgin" and "missed that boat" and that they didn't want to see me end up alone and have "my best interest in mind".

Needless to say, the people who are telling me I'm "behind" are not virgins, and mostly all of them have been male (if that makes any difference, I don’t know). Also, I'm not waiting for any real religious reason. I simply have followed my own moral code and am slow with sexuality stuff. It makes me pretty anxious in general. And I'm worried now because my "friends" are telling me now that I'll never find a guy who will be patient enough to put up with waiting so long.

So my question is: does anybody know ANY guys out there who would be cool or even prefer dating virgins at 25 or older (who are not necessarily Christian or religious)? I've never met a guy, or maybe it's just the people I know telling me this too...

I have people telling me to "just do it", "get it over with" But I honestly never had a problem with my virginity until people started making a big deal about it.

And now, I just feel really "not normal" or like a "freak" because I have not had sex yet. I just never saw why it's such a big deal to almost everybody, except me it seems.

I have a boyfriend now, and every time I start to get close to somebody, I get scared, and my relationships can't seem go farther than like 2 months because either I am unconsciously "sabotaging" my relationship or because I'm scared to take it to that 4th base so to speak or my boyfriend will leave me because he is sick of waiting.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Am I over thinking the whole thing?  Is everyone else right? How do I know if my boyfriend is the right one?

Monday, October 4, 2010

Relationship Rant-PLAYLIST-Song 8

HAPPY MONDAY, well not really-I hate Mondays, the weekend is over and I have five whole days before another one shall appear-depressing, but that does mean I get to see all of your blogs and help people with their rants.  Since it is Monday that can only mean one thing....  The next song on my Relationship Rant-PLAYLIST!!! yayyyyy woo woo.

As DJ Queen, it is time for me to mix it up a lil' with some phat beats and a lil bass!  This song has a whole lot of female power in it, and hopefully will give you all the strength you need to deal with that relationship woe or life hurdle-rise up ladies (and gentleman) and ENJOY...

Warning-Explicit Lyrics

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Another Blog Award-Yipee Cay Eh

Yeehaw folks-I got another blog award that is amazing, and it is from the Frisky Virgin, who if you have not visited, then you better get to it cause she is ultra great!

So thank-you Frisky-you have fabulous taste in blogs (wink, wink).  MUAH!

So now I gotta spread the love, and pass this along to 10 lovely blogs, and I am going to try and pass this along to some newer ones that I am just getting acquainted with, and ones that I have not given an award to, so here we go, check these out because I have a feeling they are going to make it big if they have not already...

1.  Carrie Bradshaw is Full of Shit-  This gal had me when she told me what happened in Vegas-which is against the law or something, so I guess I am on the run with her-how exciting is that!

2. The Anonymous Perils of A Single Southern Woman-a blog of randomness, and I love it-she is funny, and explicit, which I love-and she regularly comments on my blog-which is a bonus!

3. Losing On Purpose Perhaps it is because I am the same age, but I can really relate to this gal and her blog, she is up, then down, just like me.

4.  Long Distance Love Affair- I do not know if I just love hearing rants, or about people relationships ups and downs, but this blog is great for this. 

5. Living Like Laree- wanna hear what like is like in New Zealand-Laree can tell you!

6.  Intimate Memoirs of A Modern Girl- Again, I love hearing about this gals love for men and her bar nights out.

7. DC Dating Divas - Anyone noticing a trend here.... another dating blog-maybe I have a problem?

8.  Dating Is Weird- You have to read this one-especially the Manwich-sad but funny all at the same time.

9.  Awkward Sex & The City- This gal is too funny but in a bitchy kind of way.

10.  Aurajoon-  Now I already told you about this one, but you have to see her summer surprise-watch the movie-it will make you cry-fabulous!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

My Boyfriends Strange Behaviour


Just want to say that I enjoy reading your posts, and I have finally conjured up enough strength to send you one of my own rants.  Hopefully your readers can help me figure out what is going on. My boyfriend of 5 months just started hanging out with an old friend about 2 months ago that he has not seen in awhile. I did not think anything about it, other then maybe he just moved back to town or something. Then about a month ago his friend would come over, and they would sneak to the garage or behind the garage. I started wondering what they were doing, but when I try to sneak up on them they tell me to get the fuck outta here.

I don't even try anymore now, I am pregnant and 18. He's 37 and I have no where to go if I leave him. After they come from the garage he gets all apologetic and all lovey dovey. Then in the morning time he's mean and tired and complains of stomach aches. He even shook me hard one morning because I put too much salt on his eggs??? One minute he is telling me I'm beautiful, then later on I'm ugly.

Is it drugs? Gayness or both. Why all these personality changes? One minute he's up and then he is down, then hyper, then super tired and he won't even bathe some days. Sometimes he's extremely forgetful and he forgets to pick me up from doctors appointments or forgets to pay his employees, and they come over looking for him and are not happy.

What is wrong with him, he was fine until a couple of months ago, and now he is a completely different person.  What has his friend done to him, and what is with all of this strange behaviour?

Could it be drugs or maybe he is bipolar?  How can I find out what he is doing in that garage? 

Monday, September 27, 2010

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 7

Well my wonderfuls- it is Monday, and that can only mean one thing... sing like no ones watching and grab a box of kleenex because it is time for Song 7 of the Relationship Rant PLAYLIST.  I love this song-but then again Alanis made millions writing songs after a breakup... whenever I am feeling low I just put on some Jagged Little Pill and let Alanis say everything I want to say- for me...

This song is off her last album which I believe was done after her breakup with Ryan Reynolds, so again a great album, but this song has the ability to touch us in a way that is far greater then any man, woman or breakup.  A post I read recently on Surviving Boys comes to mind, and she brings the idea of perfection to light, saying that perfection is only a perception.

The truth is, no one will ever be perfect, perfection is an intangible goal that no one man or woman can ever be.  As humans we are always trying to be perfect- we want to lose weight, have more money and meet the perfect guy because we believe perfection will make us happy.  However, one thing I have learned is that once we get all of these things, we want more, there are more things that would make our lives perfect.

It is a vicious cycle that never ends.. so what do we do?  We should live our lives, be happy in our own skin, and do the best we can even if we are not perfect.  I do not know anyone rich, poor, over/underweight, married or single that is truly happy because of these things, they are happy because they are happy with who they are, and understand that nothing in life is perfect or easy-perfection is to each their own...perception of perfection.

Thank-you Surviving Boys for that enlightening post-and I dedicate this song to you today... 

So everyone- let me know what you think of the song... because it is one of my faves...

Friday, September 24, 2010

Relationship Rant-POLL

To bring this busy week to an end-I am going to take it easy and give you a poll to ponder over the weekend.  I am so sorry to everyone that I have been slacking off on the blog front-I still love you all, but I have a new project I am working on for a friend of mine that is taking up more time then I had assumed.  Please forgive me, and I promise to catch up with you all.  So lets get on with it shall we...

What attracts you to the opposite sex?

I will go first...

I like a man that has ambition and goals, but superficially he needs to have good looks too!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Lonely In LA

Queen, Please help!
Okay I am stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I am currently married but here in LA alone. I had to move out here for work and the wife and kid had to stay at home because she has another kid from a previous relationship and her and the father share 50% custody. It is broken down by week so it makes it really hard and impossible for her or my son to ever be here with me. We have paid 7k for a lawyer and nothing came out of it, all the judge said if it aint broke don't try to fix it.

Since I have been out here it gets very lonely and depressing since I feel so alone. I need that physical, sexual, and emotional feeling here. I have been a good boy since I have been here but day by day it gets harder and harder. I am at the point that if an opportunity came around I am not sure if I could hold back.

I do love my wife and I know many of you are going to tell me I should have thought about the situation before I got into a relationship with her but I didn't. I hate the fact that my son is stuck in the middle of my selfishness and this is exactly what my father did to me. I am happy with her but yet this situation is a lot harder then what I thought it was going to be like. I do go home at least once a month if not more, but when I see her its like that feeling of not seeing someone in a long time, like she isn't really there.

When I am here in LA I just drive around after work because I can't stand going home to an empty apartment. I try to get out as much as I can just so I can over come this feeling. I am just needing any suggestions or ideas that you might have. One thing I failed to leave out is that I am in a contracted job and I still have three more years left on my contract so I know there will be no way of quitting and moving back. Well I appreciate your time and input.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 6

Hey y'all-I hope you had an astounding weekend-for those of you that did not-turn it into a rant and email me.

Well since it is Monday-it is time for Song 6 of the Relationship Rant Playlist.

Without further ado....

Friday, September 17, 2010

My Husband Is A Cyber Cheater

So yeah, my husband freakin likes to get online and sign up for singles sites or he'll create profiles on mocospace, myspace and all that other crap, and he gets girls to call him. He then lies to them, telling them he's a single dad (because lets face it, you can't ignore the kid in the background). Or he'll send them messages and shit, and tell them how beautiful they are. WTF?!?! He never tells me that sh*t!!! I have caught him doing this on many occasions in our 2 years of being together. He gets caught, says he's sorry, and then waits about 3 to 4 months before he f*cks up again.

At this point, I'm like, whatever, about it. F*ck it, i can't afford to move out and I can't afford for him to move out, so f*ck it right? Every man will have their flaw. Seriously, like I can hope for some great guy to walk into my life?? Please, that "hopeless romantic" part of me died years and years ago. Sometimes I miss her. awwww. Whatever.

He even said he would go to sexaholics anonymous, got in touch w/ some dude there and then never went. He just said it to make me think he was remorseful and actually wanted to change I guess. Whatever the f*ck! I got his game down now! No one is believing the lies! Reminds me of that Eminem song, Love the Way You Lie, except instead of the physical abuse, it's more emotional, or it was.

Now I'm just freakin cold about sh*t.

He says, "I Love You"----I hear, "I LIE"
He says, "I'm sorry"-----I hear, "I LIE"
He says, "I won't do it again"----I hear, "I LIE"

If times weren't so rough, and money so low, I'm pretty sure he'd be gone. Whatever I guess.

Just f*cken leave so I can mourn the loss of our relationship and what were once nice days. Eventually the stupid a*s tears will dry and guess what? I'm gonna be okay.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Tag - Your It

So Novie tagged me, and I have never been tagged before, but I think what I am supposed to do is answer these questins Novie asked, and then tag some other people and give them new questions to answer...

PS-Don't be shy folks-just becasue I did not ask you does not mean you cannot comment below with your answers-I love getting to know you all!

So here it goes.... Novie asked me...
1.What was your fondest childhood memory?
Going to live with my dad.  I used to get to go over the summer, and I loved it, and then we got to live with him full-time, and I loved the land, his garden, the fresh fruit and berries, horse back riding-the whole of it was just great.

2. How was your first kiss?
Awful- the guy had no lips, and I was so nervous-I hated the way his mouth tasted, ewww just thinking about it creeps me out for some reason, I guess I was expecting it to be like the movies and it was not!
3. Where do you think is the best place to retire?
Somewhere hot, like Jamaica or Barbados, maybe Greece.

4. If given the chance to speak to God face to face, what would you tell Him?
I would ask him when it is my turn.  When is it my time to be happy.  Why did he put me here so I would be hurt, when do I get a break.

5. Do you consider yourself LUCKY?
Not at all-I have only won one thing in my life and it was for doing some survey in University and I got fifty dollars to the bookstore.

6. Are you aggressive or the shy type?
I think I have both traits.  I can be aggressive in certain situations and shy in others.  

7. Cake or Ice cream?
Ice Cream-chocolate-and none of this ice milk crap-the real deal! 

Now I am going to tag the following people and you must answer these new questions...

Jewels at Turning 30
Fabuleslie at Give Me Paws
Here are your questions...
1. What is your favorite day of the week?

2. Cats or dogs?

3. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

4. If you could have one super power what would it be?

5.  When you were younger, what did you dream of being when you grew up?

6.  What is your favorite quote?

7.  What is your favorite TV show/sitcom?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Letter To My Soon To Be Ex-Wife


I wrote this to my ex, and I would like to get some feedback from your readers if at all possible.

Dear Future Ex-Wife,

I love you and I am going to miss you.

I can't live without sex.

The sex is infrequent. And it is hurried. Oral sex is off the table. In fact, your breasts have been off the table for 2 years now. Once a month is ridiculous. And when I ask for it, it is pity sex, which is the worst.

The rejection I constantly receive is humiliating. It used to make me feel as if I was ugly, or unworthy of being loved. Then I realized that I am actually in amazing shape, and I am in better shape then when we were married. And I am a decent human being, who provides for his family, is a great dad, gets you gifts and pays attention. I wish to have some warmth, even a hug, from someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I am sick of being made out that I am an over demanding freak.

Being tired doesn't cut it. I'm the one doing the laundry, making lunches, picking up all the slack for everything in the house. I'm tired, and I'm really tired of all the excuses. And I was never tired of you, or listening to you, until now.

Sometimes, I would even just love a hug, and a passionate kiss. And you are unable or unwilling to do so.

I have discussed it with you. I have been more than attentive. And where you have asked me to improve myself, I have. You just happen to not want to change anything.

I can't spend the rest of my life hoping that one day you will love me, be physically warm, or interested in me sexually. It's not reasonable to think that at the age of 65, you will finally turn around...why would anyone wait that long for someone who is so uncaring.

I am sure there is one woman who will love me for me, and will not hesitate to show me. I honestly thought it was you. That is why I married you, why I hug you, why I go to work, why I listen to how your day was, what you are interested in doing.

So now I am saving my money so I can get a bachelor apt for myself, and mentally preparing for everything I need to give up.

I am ok to start all over again. Others have done it, and I am so fed up, I am not going to even argue about any of the possessions.

I am going to miss seeing our son. I will continue to provide support for him. But honestly, you are so vindictive that you will turn him against me, and I really just want him to grow up strong and healthy, so I am not going to bother fighting with you. Just do the best that you can, and please, keep in mind our son should have a positive image of both of us. For my own emotional stability, I can't be around you.

In about 2 months our life is going to change dramatically. And to me, I can't wait. I really just want someone to love. And that is an adventure I really wish to take.

My one regret is not having done this sooner.

Take care.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 5

Well my humble readers I hope you had an awesome weekend, and all that jazz (insert jazz hands here).

It is time for Song 5 of the Relationship Rant Playlist, and I must say this song is freakin amazing.  I can relate to it in many ways, and I am sure we have all been in one of those relationships where we know it is bad for us, but we just cannot get out.  You know one of those love and hate relationships. 

I am going to put the lyrics in too so that you can really understand what Eminem is saying.  His words are quick as rap can get pretty blurred, but you need to see them to really understand them and appreciate them for their honesty and ability to move the listener.

The lyrics of this song are powerful, and when you need a good cry or a good empowering then this is the song to listen to. 

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Friday, September 10, 2010

A Pictures Worth A Thousand Words

Well my darlings, it is Friday and that means it is time to lighten things up and get some laughs....

Remember you can send me photos and rants or anything else that floats your boat!

And hey-you know I love people following me, well my blog, I do not much appreciate people following me in real life-who do you think you are the freakin CIA... lol

Without further ado-here is a Friday funny for you...

Joe and Marie were looking through their wedding album to rekindle the fire in their relationship... they both looked at eachother and said...

"Who knew marriage would suck the life out of us so quickly?"

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Should I Do It All Over Again?

Hello Queen, I am a 29 year old female with two children ages 6 and 4, I am no longer with the father due to both of use making some grave mistakes, his was being to controlling and mines was being unfaithful. We were together for approx 7 years. I believed that he had been cheating on me which I had no proof of, but due to this I was easily coerced into having affairs with other men, needless to say this caused him to become somewhat violent at times, and to lose alot of respect for me. Although we we have had all these issues it seems as though we still love each other.

Now we have the chance to make amends, we have both gone through alot in our lives, he was raised by his grandmother because his mother died when he was young, and I too was raised by grandparents due to my mother and father not being able to take care of me. He seems to think that the lack of my father being in my life in a real capacity has made me seek out male attention, and that his mother dying when he was young has left him with anxiety about women leaving him. I can see the change in him, and no longer is he the angry person (has had some therapy)he used to be.

For approx. 6 days now we have been thrust together by fate, and I must say that it's been great, and the kids are so happy, but I still have this desire to be with other guys, not sure why just like the fact that I can just have "friends". He took this separation as a reason to get married, I took the chance to get out and meet some men. Well , now he is back and telling me that after all that I did to him, all the men over the past two years, that he does not care and he want to have us become a family again. Do I think he loves me? Sure without any doubt, but I'm having fun. Do I love him? I think so, just worried that I or he will have the same issues.

He has always been there for me, even after I left him for another man who by the way used me and left me for dead, it was him that was there to pick up the pieces, and when I did it again, he was right there. He loves to take care of me, will do anything for me, just don't know why. His argument is that the boys are the most important thing in the world and that is what I should concentrate on, but my family and new friends think that I should just keep doing what I am doing, that I don't need to think about having a relationship for the sake of the kids.

Do I love him- yes, I am sure of this, does he love me- unquestionably. I just can't get past what we went through. I am now finding it easy to find men, he thinks that they are just using me for sex, he says this because they only come round late at night, and a few times a week. Have to admit, none have really been interested in a commitment, but I like getting the attention. Is there anyone out there that can give my an opinion, I am really confused.
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