Wednesday, November 24, 2010

My Secret

queen,
ok so i'm married i have been for 3 years now and honestly I HATE IT!
my husband is the biggest jerk in the world he yells at me degrades me and cares more about his materialistic things than me....or his daughter (who is 3 months old btw)

i just dont know what to do, i cant just leave him (i had my daughter 3 months ago and now im fat no one else would want some fat girl) and to make matters worse i support him he doesnt work nor has he ever when i met him he lived with his parents and 5 months later he was living with me and still is.
I just feel lost and confused when i got pregnant with my daughter i was so excited and two months later we were set to go to the first ultra sound and the night before the ultra sound he gave me a story about how he needed to rush to his moms (which is over an hour away) and stay there for a few months because she was having serious health problems, i was hurt but i understood. Then a few days later i talked to his mom on the phone when i called for him and she was asking me why he needed to be there and asked me how I planned on paying her for him staying there....I asked her what he told her and she told me that he told her that he just needed to get away.

So i ask him and like every other time he gets caught in a lie he flips out and yells and screams until the cops come... so then i play it off like nothing is wrong and put on a happy face for the cops (not that i did anything illegal or anything but to save his ass). So on christmas my parents got us matching IPod touches and in february i was playing on mine and apparently he asked me a question and i didnt answer so he grabbed my IPod and threw it against the wall (several times) and broke it ok so he still plays on his all the time, im not allowed to touch his but im fine with that seeing how im always working or taking care of my baby one day his goes off and its some 17 year old girl named "melissa wright" and she is talking about having sex with him and getting married to him so i pick it up and message her back and tell her that hes married and she messages me back and says i know babe when are you going to tell her that your moving with me ( i never said who i was when i messaged her) a month after that my baby was crying (i had just worked 18 hours) he woke me up and said "arent you going to get your kid" so i say "shes yours too cant you get her" and he said "FUCK" and jumps up and gets her then he throws the baby wipes against the wall and breaks them open. So obviously being a mother i get up fearing for my baby and tell him not to worry about it and i take over and he goes to bed and at this point he chooses to sleep in the guest bedroom so that the baby doesnt disturb him anymore.

so tonight i hugged him and he dropped his IPod (on the carpet in the living room) and he starts yelling at me telling me what a worthless bitch i am.

And to make matters worse his mom and dad are getting a divorce and his mom doesnt have a job so i have been paying her bills too and she just talks about me all the time and even made him think it was okay to physically abuse me.

I work constantly and feel like i have a dark secret that only me and my now 3 month baby know.

4 comments:

  1. OMG! Get out! Get out and run take your daughter and leave don't look back! This brought tears to my eyes as a previous survivor of a very physically and mentally and emotionally abusive ex husband, I am begging you to leave! Go to a shelter! Or for the love of GOD call the police and get a restraining order now!

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  2. Hun-you need to get out-all the signs point to it-things will not get better-they will only get worse. If you care about yourself and your family you need to leave. Not only is he cheating on you, but he is neglecting your daughter, and you.

    You may not fee like you can find someone else right now-but you can-dont fret about your looks-a great man will not care-and sometimes being alone for a bit can really put things in perspective. He will try to get you back too, but do not look back. Life is precious-do not waste yours in this horrible situation!

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  3. You have many many many options, and they all start with you getting out with your baby daughter. No guilt, no regrets, just leave. Document what you can, get a restraining order.

    Life is too precious to stay in such a toxic situation. Value yourself, cherish and protect your daughter. You're not in a marriage. You are in a very unhealthy and very harmful situation. Outwards and upwards! Things will get better!!

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  4. I echo what all the others said - you can't stay with him.

    It concerns me that you're afraid to leave him because you think no one will want you, because I'm afraid if you divorce this man you're going to go find another just for the sake of having one around and he's going to abuse you too. If you find someone else and it's right then go for it, but please don't seek out a relationship for its own sake.

    Not only will you and your daughter be better off emotionally if you sever ties with your husband (and his mother!), but it sounds like you'll be better off financially since you're supporting them anyway.

    I just can't get over this. The way he and his mother treat you are unacceptable. I don't like to tell people what to do, but I've heard enough. Get out, and get out now. I promise that even if things are worse for a while now, they'll get better.

    ReplyDelete

Let it out...

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