You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
You can't believe a word they say.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
... Curling Irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
... Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
... Fine Wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with