Tuesday, August 31, 2010

To Have Children-Or Not To Have Childre-That Is The Question

If you have been around my blog for awhile it will come as no surprise that I am effin crazy, really want to have children one day.  I mean I am in no rush, I am 26, and I would really like to have one at least by the time I hit 30.  Next March me and the man will have been together for 6 years and still no children.  In fact if you read my array of rants you will see that I indeed REALLY want to have children.

I do not want to have children by some accident, and in fact I don't really need a man to have a child, I am perfectly fine with picking my sperm baby right out of a binder.  A few people I know that have done this have beautiful children, and to top it off they got to pick the man (from a picture) including his appearance, how much money he makes, whether he went to school or not and many other little interesting things.  However, I would prefer if a man wanted to have children with me, and my man in the past has told me that he does.  He makes certain excuses as to why he cannot right now or why he is scared to have another child, but he has never said he did not want children. Despite the fact that he has never told me he does not want them, I have always had this inkling that he does not want them, and so does my mother!

A little background information, he has a child and an ex, not wife, but an ex, and she is a real piece of work.  I think that she has majorly scarred him form having more children, just because of all the shit she has caused and still causes almost on a weekly basis.  If I were him I would not want to have any kids in fear that after birth I may turn into this horrible monster of a woman who will rip the life from his very soul, just like she has, but I have been clear with him since day one that I am not like that and if you do not want to be with me then I can gladly take care of my child by myself.  You see I firmly believe if a man does not want to help you raise your child then do not force him to, it will only lead to future disasters, and I never want my child to ever think that they were not good enough or not loved, eff that!

My man is a great father, there are a few things I disagree with but that is natural as the child is not mine, and if he was I would perhaps pipe up a bit more when I disagree with something he does.  It is mostly that he spoils him, but I think he does it because of how horribly she treats her son, so its like he tries to make up for it by spoiling the shit out of him.  I admire my man for sticking by this as most men would have run away years ago.  Despite the many obstacles his ex puts in his way, he always perseveres.

Over the weekend we had a few people over for a BBQ and I was chatting with this gal who had a 14 month baby.  She just adored her and we shot the shit about parenting and such.  She asked if I had kids and I said no, but he has a son.  Then the man pipes up and they start chatting and all of a sudden I heard the words that tore my heart in two- I am going to have anymore kids.

That was Saturday, and it has been eating me up since I heard it slip from his tongue.  I feel like a piece of me has been taken or lied to.  Led to believe that I was going to be a mother soon, only to find out that it would not be with him.  On the bright side, I now have a lead in to that dreadful 'talk' that we must have now.  No more lingering of intentions that can be misconceived or misinterpreted.  No more time can be wasted.  If he says no he does not want children I think I have to leave.  I mean it sounds selfish, but I cannot compromise on this.  Many other things I could, but not this.

So my wonderful readers, followers and commenter's, please tell me what you think I should do.  What should I say, and if I do not get the answer I want-do I leave?

PS-My apologies for not posting my Relationship Rant Playlist Song 3 yesterday, but this post just made me want to share it with you now, and how appropriately titled is it for this post.  Enjoy!

Friday, August 27, 2010

A Pictures Worth A Thousand Words

Well, what a serious week we had together-the ups the downs, I feel like I am on a freakin emotional roller coaster.  I should have realized it since I am a woman and once a month my hormones get tangled in a huge knot.  Finally I feel like I can take out my knife (that's not a knife, this is a knife) and cut the tension that has my mind consumed, and finally breath again.  As my hormonal imbalance (thanks Jebus) comes to an end, I have time to reflect on my mistakes and hopefully learn for the next time it happens in a mere 21 days. 

Who am I kidding?  I won't remember a freaking thing and I will hop back on that effin roller coaster because... because.. I do not know why people go on effin roller coasters-to throw up? oh ya the rush- I will get back on for the rush???

Anyways folks, in an attempt to make you all laugh with me-not at me, I welcome you to the third installment of A Pictures Worth A thousand Words...

Lets call her Down, and him Up.....

Up: *Right click* *right click*, (types) does that feel good baby... you know you want this... *right click* *right click*... *space bar* *space bar*.... 

Down:  He thinks I don't know that he is cyber sexing it up online right now, I am not stupid.  I mean what guy would prefer to right click someone online, then riiiggghhhhttt click someone in real life?  I guess he is still having problems with the erectile dysfunction.  What am I doing here?

Up: Ha she has no idea what I am doing-probably thinks I am looking at stocks or some shit, when really I am hitting it up with this hot young chick.

Down:  He's probably getting nasty with some 19 year old boy playing some joke with his buddies... what a dumbass....

Up:  I mean why can't I get a girl like this in real life... oh yeah my ED, maybe I should just go to the doctor and get some of those pills Larry was telling me about?

Down:  Why are men so clueless when it comes to women.  I am just going to go find a real man.  Someone that knows how to please me, and tell me the things I need to hear.  Someone who is good with their hands, who's young, hip and fun.

**************** Up gets up and goes to the washroom**************

******************Down sits down in front of laptop*****************

Down (types):  So whats your name?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Relationship Rant: POLL

Well you are all too amazing.  Thank you for your wonderful advice.  I know when people put time into things, and you all do that so well.  I feel you really do truly want to help me and others with their relationship rants and problems.  I am so glad to be able to call you my friends, and I will try to give you all the same appreciation by visiting your blogs and being helpful-just like all of you have been to me.

So I am a busy Queen today, so I only have time to put this quick poll out to all of you awesome readers and followers.....

This poll was inspired by A Day in The Wife as her funny story about her boss finding out about her blog made me laugh... so I have a juicy question that I want answered by you all...

Do your friends and family know about your blog?

PS-Follow me so you never miss a rant!

Send me your rants, and get advice from me and my readers-c'mon people we are in a recession and you are still paying for therapy???

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I Have Never Heard My Mom Cry

I have never heard my mom cry until a couple of days ago.  My mom and I are not super close, she lives on the other side of the country and as I get older we seem to talk less and less.  For the last month or so I have been talking to her almost every week.  She is thinking about coming back to BC and she has had me doing some investigating of jobs in her field.

You see my mom and I have some history.  She was an alcoholic until ten years ago, so me and my brothers grew up with her, then with foster parents and then with my dad.  She has done some horrible things to us as kids and I do not care to discuss these things, but after ten years of sobriety she has never once apologized or acknowledged her mistakes, until two days ago.

I know she wants what is best for me, I mean I know that now.  It started off as just a little rant to her that I am getting really annoyed at my man and the way he talks to me.  You know just peeves that I have even told all of you.  Well she blew up.  She said it is unacceptable and controlling of him to do and say these things, and that I am a grown woman and I do not need to be told how to pack the dishwasher.  I could not imagine if I had told her more...

After her own rant-I could hear her crying, not like a whaling cry or anything-just a whimper- the kind when you do not want to cry but you just cannot stop it from happening.  I did it too- cause you can't cry at work right?

She said she blames herself for why I cannot be more assertive in my relationship.  She says it is her fault for me not standing up for myself to him.  I told her I am assertive in most other areas of my life, just not so much when it comes to my relationship- and I mean that is not entirely true.  I have the balls to say when I disagree, I just do not get the results I want.  Maybe I am stupid for trying-I should not be trying to change a man, but I am not asking for a life altering change-just some respect, appreciation, and to be spoken to like an adult with dignity and love. Not like a five year old that did not rinse her dish before putting it in the dishwasher.  Not to be told everytime you do something wrong-that it is wrong-and there is a better way to do it-his way.

My mom told me that after five years of being with my man-I have nothing to show for it, and she was right.  I do not have kids, I am not married, I do not have a house or even a nice car.  I have nothing. 

Ever since that talk with my mom I feel like a failure.  Part of me thinks she is right, and part of me thinks she is wrong.  She said that if I still have nothing that I want by the time I am 28 I need to leave.  That I should set timelines and goals, and tell him these things.  To be assertive, and not take his crap. 

You see this is why I do not talk to my friends and family about this stuff-because I get judged and told that I am wrong-just like what my man does.  Why does everyone keep telling me I am wrong -am I wrong? 

Some days I could care less about what I want, but when me and the man are in a rut like this-it weighs on me heavily.  Hearing my mom cry made me think I am wrong-that this must be a bigger issue than I even thought it was- if she is going to blame herself for all my wrongness.  Who is wrong-is anyone wrong?  I cannot very well give the man an ultimatum like if you do not give me kids I am gone, that is a nasty situation, but I think I am reasonable enough to be able to demand respect and if I do not get it do I leave?

I know my mom wants what is best for me, but she also cannot protect me from all of life's little dilemmas.  She cannot get me respect from him, and she is not really here to know if I am happy or not.  I mean all you tell people is the bad, not when everything is going great, then you talk about how your work is going badly.  As humans we are more likely to talk about the bad then the good, so I do not want her or you all to think my life is filled with disrespect and grief-I just tend to share that stuff more often then when I got a back rub or told how beautiful I am-which is less often then when I get told that I am wrong... I am going crazy folks, your help is greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Men & Their Mothers

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years now. We moved in together about 6 months ago. I knew when I moved in that he didn't have the best relationship with his mother due to some financial issues. She basically had him cosign on something a few years ago, then stopped making payments (without telling him) and he began getting harassing phone calls demanding money, etc.

She told him numerous times she would fix it but never did and he ended up having to clean up her mess. He has loaned her money since then but it never comes without a fight. I'm slowly beginning to learn that this guy loves the drama. He doesn't set boundaries with her and cannot talk to her for long without yelling, name calling, etc. He spends a lot of time with his brothers, ages 12 and 14, and is always going on about their mom and the ways she has screwed him over.

Going over there for dinner has become very unpleasant. My boyfriend fights with his mom over the pettiest things and the boys have become much more disrespectful. He thinks they're just 'at that age' but I personally don't think that behavior is appropriate at any age. I've tried to talk to him about this, but even though he tells me he loves me and wants to settle down with me, he tells me to 'stay out of it' when it comes to his family. I'm disgusted and am seriously considering leaving. He says he loves me and is very nice to me (mostly) but I worry that he will one day treat me the way he's treating his family. Thoughts? Advice?

Monday, August 23, 2010

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 2

Hiddely ho neighbors- I hope you all had a fabulous weekend.  I have been so excited about this playlist that I just want to keep posting music, but I understand that is not as juicy as my rants, and peeves and all my other amazing hoopla-so I keep telling myself-one at a time Queen, one at a time.

As long as you all know that I put a lot of thought and research into this playlist- and I love how it is a never ending playlist-that at any point in time one of my heart broken or pissed off readers can make their own relationship rant CD-hmmm... maybe I will do that and then raffle it off or something.... the possibilities are endless my lovelies-ENDLESS.

So this next song has always helped me when I am feeling low, in fact just this weekend I listened to it and thought oh that is getting posted on Monday!  There I sat alone in my garage singing at the top of my lungs and boy did it feel AWESOME!

I hope you enjoy-and yes I would fill your ears with country music because it always tells the perfect relatable story-but hey I am a DJ right now so I gotta switch it up for my anti-country listeners-even thought I did not get one complaint about my Reba song last week!  You are all so perfect (sigh-with dreamy look).

I can really relate to this song-and its story reminds me of why I started blogging, ENJOY.

Love ya all-Queen.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Women Are Illogical

Queen I need your help,

PART I. - Went to a wedding - met a girl (23yrs) at the reception dinner. Girl's date(23yrs) shows up to dinner 1.5 hrs late. When girl leaves table, date says he parties 6 nights a week without her. When guy leaves table she says her and date broke up after 2 years and are not even facebook friends. Girl, date, myself and a female family member go to various bars after wedding dinner in my vehicle. Girl dances with me all night, makes sexual comments, grabs my crotch, wears my blazer jacket, piggy backs me around bar. Leaves at end of night with date.

PART II - Girl adds my female family member to facebook next day and asks what her and I are doing that night because we are so much fun. Family member says staying home. Girl asks family member for my phone number. Girl invites me out to bar. I show up and girl brought date. Date talks to me all night like we're best friends. I leave and delete Girl's number from cell phone.

PART III - Girl blows up my phone every second day with texts and invites to go out. When confronted about the clearly unfinished business with her "date" and accusation of her being in a relationship, she does not deny it and says I can stop talking to her at anytime if I feel awkward about the situation. So I said "ok".

I continue to get texts, invites and "guilt" messages that "YOU NEVER WANT TO PARTY WITH ME!". I continue to mention - "YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND!" .
This has not seemed to resolve the issue.

WHAT THE F$%# IS GOING ON? I told her there is no way I will even look at her as long as she has a bf, I told her I will not go out to party, I will not pick her up, I am not interested. Yet she persists.

Please explain if I'm just being used a tool to make the bf jealous, or if I'm being used in some other capacity or generally what the f&%@ is going on because I'm lost.

Thanks Queen.......

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Queen Peeves

Well it is that time again folks- you know the times when we get to know eachother a little better by telling eachother what really pisses us off.  Those little pesky things that your friends or spouses do that make you want to rip their eyes out! 

Well, today I would like to tell you that I absolutely cannot stand it when my man has 'man PMS'.  Yes that is right -'P MAN S'  is what I like to call it!  Who said that Jebus did not give men the ability to menstruate?  Of course he did, its named after them MENstruate for dogs sake!  He just did not give them the tangible part of it, since he is a man -we got the shit end of the stick.

So he has crazy mood swings, like one minute he will be all bummed out or pissy, and the next minute he is all like so you want veggie burgers for dinner?  Like WTF just happened, who are you and what the eff did you do with my man?  Its like freakin aliens took over his body and they are here to serve me all of a sudden.... then twenty minutes later its a complete 180 and hes an a$$ again.  Since men were not born with the ability to communicate or wear their emotions-us ladies are required to tippy toe around the matter, think that we did something wrong and let these mood swings infuriate us.

So my dear readers- why cant 'P MAN S' be the same for both sexes?  Why cant men just be like-oh its that time of the month again dear- and I am all over the place-up, down, laughing, crying.... and admit they are a mess just like us women?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

60/40 Rule: A Ratio In Relationships

Well thank you everyone for contributing to my friend rant yesterday, some really great advice, as always, and a perspective that I think I will follow.  I should not rub it in that I was right and she was not.  She already knows that, even if she has not explicitly told me.  A came over last night, and I must say, it felt really good to have a friend to talk to, and not worry about judgements as she has no right to judge me after this escapade.

In my own little way I think I have made it clear to her that even though I may not understand or even agree with the decisions she has made, I am here for her no matter what, because that is what friends are for.  A was in need of a drowning of her sorrows so I bought some Malibu (her favorite) and we sat and talked for four hours straight.  We talked about love, life and everything in between.  We talked like we never could as kids, because we did not know who we were yet, and reality just did not seem to matter back then.

I told her that a wise woman once told me about the 60/40 rule, and it is what I live by now.  Just as many of you said yesterday-marriages/relationships are hard work!  Anyone who thinks they are bliss all the time has never been in a real relationship!  The 60/40 rule means that if your relationship is good 60% of the time, and bad 40% of the time, it is still worth fighting for.  When it gets closer to 50/50 you are in trouble.  In my relationship-at the worst of time, and yes our love has been tried and tested a number of times-we are 60/40, however, most days I would say we average about a 70/30.  I am in love, and I know this.  No one in their right mind could convince me otherwise.

Sometimes I feel like tossing in the towel, but most of the time I cannot picture my life with out him.  Not because its easier to stay, but because it would be so hard to leave the man that I picture spending the rest of my life with... even after almost 6 years of being together. You see I think relationships need to be tested-you need to go through something horrible to see if you can both survive, and still love that person after it is all over.  I don't think A ever had that.  Like I said, she had it all, and if drinking was that horrible thing I speak of, then that was their test, and they failed.  If you think about it, that is precisely what wedding vows say,

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

These words should not be taken lightly-and they were never meant to be changed or underestimated.  These words do not translate to, if that SOB gets drunk tonight its over...  where did we lose the meaning, who are we to think we have any right to decide what these words even mean and when vows can be broken, why is marriage not what it used to be? 

I think the thing that A said that stood out to me the most last night was this,

"Whats the point in being in a relationship if half the time you feel more like their mother then their wife, and the other half of the time they are drunk or yelling"

Despite the fact that I have felt like this before, clearly, A and J did not have a 60/40 relationship ratio.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

She Got It All And It Still Was Not Good Enough

So this rant is a little different.  Its not about my man, but yet one of the many other relationships we have as humans-those relationships with our friends.  You see I have this friend that I love dearly, however, she has made a very big decision in her life, and I still have not quite figured out if I support this decision or not-or if I even understand it for that matter. 

My friend A was the one of us that we all thought would be the last to marry and have kids.  We all lived in the country and moved to the city to go to school, party and live out our twenty something lives.  Within a couple of years, A met this guy J who none of us liked.  I mean he was nice and all, just not A's type.  Within a year, J convinced her to move back to the small town we came from, and not even a year later she was married and pregnant.  I asked her what she was doing years ago.  I said you totally settled.  I know what you wanted your wedding to look like and you did not get any of it!  You hated that town and now you have a house there, a kid on the way and J who you have nothing in common with.  She argued with me a bit and told me everything was great.

I assumed she was telling me the truth, as not even a year ago she had her second child with him.  Again, I spoke to her every once and a while, and everything was still a-okay.  She bought a bigger home, a new truck, and had it all-the white picket fence, the house and the kids-in my eyes she had it all.  She had so much I was at the point where I did not want to tell her about all my relationship problems because here I would look like some sort of idiot.  I have none of those things, and fight constantly with the beau.  I felt insecure and envious of her life.

Now two weeks later I get a call from her.  She has left J and moved to the city.  I am all like WTF happened.  She said he drinks too much, and we made a date to chat about what the eff was going on.

I went over to her house on the weekend, and she told me her reason for leaving was simply that she did not feel attracted to J anymore.  Yes he drank too much, but she said he had always done this.  She told me she had been contemplating leaving before-before she even had her first child, and with every day that went by she thought to herself how hard it would be to leave now that she had kids, a mortgage, and oh so many responsibilities.  She even said the sex was great even until the end?  So what do you mean you are not attracted to him? 

I found this to be a very selfish response, but I could not say it to her.  Rather I agreed, told her I supported this decision and that I am here for her if she needs me.

So why?  Why not tell us-her friends-that something was wrong?  Why have a family with someone you do not even love?  Why did she not listen to me when I warned her that this felt wrong?  Why now?  Now that you have children. 

What I wanted to tell her, and hope that one day I will conjure up enough balls to tell her- is that she was selfish.  She used J to get the kids because thats what she wanted at the time.  She rushed into a marriage and a family without giving herself enough time to see the reality in it all.  She let love guide her-and when that love ran out she left.  Instead of giving herself time to get over the initial love struck feeling and see if she could put up with this man forever like her vows stated.

She gave a bad name to marriage-something I have been waiting for-for 5 years.  Everyday I think that I will never get a chance to have children.  Something she took for granted, I would give my right arm to have.  She got it all, and it still was not good enough.

Monday, August 16, 2010

NEW SEGMENT: Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 1

Okay y'all, (yup still obsessed with this word) I have yet another awesome segment to try out!  When I am feeling low, music has a way of empowering me.  Especially when it concerns men or relationships.  A lot of my favorite songs are relationship rants, but with chords and melody's. 

So what better way to cheer yourself up, get back at an ex, or mend a broken heart then to turn on your favorite song, and sing like nobody's watching.  (I do this in my car all the time, and I probably looked like a freak, until Lord Jebus ((cant say the real lords name in vane)) invented the law that you cant talk on your cell which led to the invention of hands free devices, which makes everyone look like a freak-yay I finally fit in).

So my awesome readers, here is song 1 of the Relationship Rant Playlist.... (sorry if you hate country music, but listen to it, or there is no telling what Jebus will do to you!)

PS-If you have any Playlist requests, comment below or email me.

Friday, August 13, 2010

A Pictures Worth A Thousand Words

So it is that time y'all, eff I love saying that... anyways, it is time for our next installment of my beloved segment titled, A Pictures Worth A Thousand Words.  Yeah that's right I am sure you have all been missing it so lets get er done!

PS-Don't forget to send me your funny pictures so I can interpret them for you, and keep my gang smiling-I am worried if they stop loving me, they will hunt me down and find out my one weakness- yes folks that is right Clark Kent's was cryptonite, but mine is far far worse-eggplant-I hate it-it is so gross no matter how you cook it-I can see it now my followers charging at me with pinatas filled with eggplant.  So send them to me right away-you hear me!

Her:  So I gotta ask, why did you bring this stop sign to bed with you hun?

Him:  You know why!

Her:  No I don't, please enlighten me.

Him:  Well I am sick of you always forcing yourself on me.  I mean we have sex like thirty times a day, and I just can't do it anymore!

Her:  What do you mean you can't do it anymore, you made a vow!

Him:  Yeah, but the sex is supposed to dwindle in relationships over time, and you have not let up in 6 years.

Her:  So you think by putting some measly stop sign in the middle of us, you are safe from my raging sexual libido.  I don't think so hunny, now come here and give me your lovin, I want ten more babies, and no stupid sign is going to stop me!

Him:  You are crazy, I think you need to see a therapist.

Her:  Or what, are you going to go and cry to the Queen about how I want your monkey thirty times a day, all the men will laugh at you, go ahead Bwah hahhahahah (evil laugh). Now come here!

Him:  No Stop-No means no!

Her:  Yeah right- we all no that is bullsh*t

Stop Sign:  So when are we gonna get freaky here guys?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

My Boyfrineds Best Friend


I think I might soon be up shits creek without a paddle with my boyfriend of 15 years.

For the record...I don't care to catch a load of crap because after all this time, we are still not married. It's by choice on both our parts and we are both perfectly happy cohabitating all these years without being married.

Moving on....

Here's the situation, (I'll try and keep it brief!)

5 years ago my boyfriend fell off the wagon and began drinking again. He's an alcoholic. He's been 100% sober for the last 5 years. I stuck by him because he's a wonderful man, sans his past issue with alcohol.

He had this best friend back then. They were as close as brothers and even worked together for the same boss. We used to hang out and bar-b-que together on weekends and we all became very close friends.

You with me so far?

Anyway, when my boyfriend fell off the wagon, he was impossible to live with. Our relationship took a bad turn due to his drinking. It got so bad, I tossed him out into the curb. I literally had no choice as I was not about to be his co-dependent gf or enable him to continue drinking. During that time 5 years ago, I was understandably distraught. His best friend tried to help him but even he too, had to chuck the friendship. My bf eventually got himself into rehab, and that's how he got sober.

My bf and I were broken up at that time because of his drinking.

One night not long after, his best friend came to see me. It started out so innocent. He brought me a bottle of wine. (neither him or I, were alcoholics)
After sever glasses and both of us getting drunk on my couch....we slept together. BOTH of us realized that this was a very, very bad mistake afterwards...shook hands as friends and parted ways.

My bf eventually sobered up, and it wasn't until he got fully sober that I allowed him to come back to our place and get back together.
My bf's friend decided when my bf fell off the wagon, they were done as friends. Now...fast forward five years later and for the first time in 5 years...this old friend of his called him and got re-hired to work with my bf again!

My worry is that my bf's friend will tell my bf that we fucked.

I'd also like to add one more thing...other than the one indiscretion 5 years ago, I have been faithful to my man of 15 years.

Do I have reason to worry? Should I talk to this said friend of his and ask him to keep quiet? I love my bf and am proud of his sobriety, If my bf finds out, he'll leave me, and I KNOW this.
What should I do if anything?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Oblivious of a Cougar On The Prowl

So over my two weeks off, me and the man had a wedding to go to.  Praise the lord that one of his friends finally tied the knot, and gave us both an excuse to go get some much needed nice clothes and pictures of everyone all dolled up.  What I did not know is that since the wife to be hates all of her husbands friends and family, that we would be seated all together in the back (woo woo table 7).  So of course there were mostly familiar faces, but there were also the cast aways, the lepers, and the cougars at our table.

After a long night of eating and drinking, we were all at the social stage of the event when my hubby starts talking to this older blonde gal.  After a little bit of listening in, I discover it is a friend of ours mom, and they all used to drink at her house when she was out of town.  After a few laughs I thought surely this conversation was drawing to a close, but boy I was wrong.  Forty five minutes later and a few sly glares across the table, I got up and went for a smoke... by myself.

He came down a few minutes later like all WTF, why didn't you invite me blah blah blah, looking like a deer just escaped from a light factory and I am like well you were too busy chatting it up with that cougar.  He replies cougar, she not a cougar she like 50.  Well duh, lets take a second to define a cougar, better yet lets just have the East Coast Beach Wife do it for us.  So you see, she was definitely a cougar!

The woman would not leave him alone.  She follows him down and comes out for a smoke like two seconds after him, just enough time for him to know that I am obviously choked.  However, it kept going, until I started glaring at her a few times.  Then she moved on... to a friend of ours!

We are all back at the table and she is chatting up our friend.  We go out for yet another smoke (yeah I know I smoke too much when I drink) and my man goes, can you go save him, she wont leave him alone.

Ohhhhh who ever could you mean?  I thought you said that she was not a cougar, and just chatting friendly with everyone.  Yeah everyone with balls!  So I do the good deed and go ask him to join us outside.  We get out to the hallway and he goes, thank you so much-you saved my life.  Hahahahha well cougars do kill their prey I guess.  So now it is on.  Mr. Clueless bold faced lied that he did not think she was hitting on him, when clearly she was.  I can only imagine if the roles were reversed and some old Magnum PI looking guy came over and chatted me up...  what do you call a man cougar?  A Lion.... anyways I am sure there would have been blood!

Monday, August 9, 2010

I'm Back

Well I am back form vacation for lack of a better word, and as I prepare some new material, I just wanted to tell you all that I missed you.  Like I really did!  I actually thought about you all a few times, and could not wait to get back and see how you and your blogs are doing.  You see blogging has become such a  wonderful thing in my life that I get excited thinking about it and all the friends I have made over the last few months.  Yes I consider you friends, even though I have never met you!  I am so glad I started blogging.  The reason I started was I felt I had no one to talk to about my relationship problems without getting judged, and it has worked, I feel better!  Even my relationship is doing better!  So thank you all for everything you have done, even if it was just reading or commenting, or giving me some sort of purpose.  MUAH!


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