Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Men & Their Mothers
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years now. We moved in together about 6 months ago. I knew when I moved in that he didn't have the best relationship with his mother due to some financial issues. She basically had him cosign on something a few years ago, then stopped making payments (without telling him) and he began getting harassing phone calls demanding money, etc.
She told him numerous times she would fix it but never did and he ended up having to clean up her mess. He has loaned her money since then but it never comes without a fight. I'm slowly beginning to learn that this guy loves the drama. He doesn't set boundaries with her and cannot talk to her for long without yelling, name calling, etc. He spends a lot of time with his brothers, ages 12 and 14, and is always going on about their mom and the ways she has screwed him over.
Going over there for dinner has become very unpleasant. My boyfriend fights with his mom over the pettiest things and the boys have become much more disrespectful. He thinks they're just 'at that age' but I personally don't think that behavior is appropriate at any age. I've tried to talk to him about this, but even though he tells me he loves me and wants to settle down with me, he tells me to 'stay out of it' when it comes to his family. I'm disgusted and am seriously considering leaving. He says he loves me and is very nice to me (mostly) but I worry that he will one day treat me the way he's treating his family. Thoughts? Advice?