Do Nice Girls Finish Last?

Queen,

Once I was a nice altruistic & loving woman. I obeyed my parents. I graduated from a top tier university and created a financially rewarding career. I worked hard and enjoyed life. I have traveled to over 50 countries. I loved & respected others based on their character and nothing else. I always maintained my appearance, never drank, never smoked, never did drugs, never depended on a man & was never promiscuous.


I prided myself on my size 4 figure, flawless skin and long healthy hair. I look about a decade younger then my chronological age. In my 20’s I was married for a short time to a wealthy investment banker in New York. The marriage was initially good but soon discovered he was bipolar. I left and divorced him soon after. I had a good relationship with an Irishman for a few years. We ended it as friends. I did not want to move to Dublin permanently.


I have only been with two men sexually. I am not frigid, a religious fanatic, fat, ugly or deformed. I have always believed sex should be within marriage or at the very least in a mutually loving stable relationship. I have never had a yeast infection, a std, suffered sexual abuse, become pregnant or faced the many woes women who are very sexually promiscuous have to experience. I was disciplined & resisted instant gratification. 95% of me feels comfortable with my life decisions. I avoided a lot of BS women go through in the effort to have “love” or a “man” in their life.

The remaining 5% of me thinks maybe I should have been open to children, willing to sleep with the firm’s partner, sleep with married men in power, willing to have a threesome, willing to date younger men who were attracted to me, accept a man’s jaded sexual past who was reformed and good to me & not reject him. Then I think would I be in denial or an emotional basket case like many women are who take the devil may care attitude. I do not know. We all make choices.

What I have learned is that MOST MEN want a woman dependent on them in some way preferably financially whether they are willing to admit it or not. Most men are not interested in having a smart mate. They only want you to look good & play the arm candy. Most men do not care about your accomplishments. They want to fuck you. Most men want to play the “hero” & solve the problems. They do not want a partner who can solve the problems and avoid the damsel in distress scenario.

It does not pay to be a nice girl in life. Nice girls are boring, lonely, unappreciated and unloved.
Maybe I should have been a whore or a gold digging selfish woman.

Yours truly,

Single lonely 39 year old woman

Relationship Rant-POLL

To bring this busy week to an end-I am going to take it easy and give you a poll to ponder over the weekend.  I am so sorry to everyone that I have been slacking off on the blog front-I still love you all, but I have a new project I am working on for a friend of mine that is taking up more time then I had assumed.  Please forgive me, and I promise to catch up with you all.  So lets get on with it shall we...

What attracts you to the opposite sex?

I will go first...

I like a man that has ambition and goals, but superficially he needs to have good looks too!

Men & Their Mothers

Queen,
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years now. We moved in together about 6 months ago. I knew when I moved in that he didn't have the best relationship with his mother due to some financial issues. She basically had him cosign on something a few years ago, then stopped making payments (without telling him) and he began getting harassing phone calls demanding money, etc.

She told him numerous times she would fix it but never did and he ended up having to clean up her mess. He has loaned her money since then but it never comes without a fight. I'm slowly beginning to learn that this guy loves the drama. He doesn't set boundaries with her and cannot talk to her for long without yelling, name calling, etc. He spends a lot of time with his brothers, ages 12 and 14, and is always going on about their mom and the ways she has screwed him over.

Going over there for dinner has become very unpleasant. My boyfriend fights with his mom over the pettiest things and the boys have become much more disrespectful. He thinks they're just 'at that age' but I personally don't think that behavior is appropriate at any age. I've tried to talk to him about this, but even though he tells me he loves me and wants to settle down with me, he tells me to 'stay out of it' when it comes to his family. I'm disgusted and am seriously considering leaving. He says he loves me and is very nice to me (mostly) but I worry that he will one day treat me the way he's treating his family. Thoughts? Advice?

Money: The Root Of All Evil

Queen,

My husband is horrible with money.  I swear the effin guy thinks it grows on trees.  It never fails around rent time we are at each others throats.  He always overspends and then does not have any money so I am forced to take it off of my credit card.  I always have my share, but he never has his.  Our roommate always gives him his portion of the rent, and instead of giving it to me, he goes and spends one or two hundred dollars of it.  Can you effin believe that.  So a couple of days ago when I see our roommate give him the money I say... you should give that to me or you are going to spend it.  He completely ignores me and then puts it in his drawer.  So yesterday when its time to put the rent in, he says I am short $130 on my portion, and I spent $100 out of the roomies.  Oh isn't that effin nice of you.  So now I have to take $230 off of my credit card.  Which I just had to get a loan to pay it down as I was paying like $300 a month just in interest.  Well I went ballistic.  I told him this was the last time, and not to ever ask me where my money goes because one whole check goes to bills and the other goes to rent.  So then I have no money to spend on me.  I can barely afford the coffee, gas, and parking for work.  He always asks me, where did all your money go, and I feel like punching him repeatedly screaming rent and bills you effin joke of a man.

I do not know what to do.  We constantly fight about money and I am pinching and saving to try and afford a house, some sort of vacation, clothes...  I have nothing for me, and meanwhile where does his money go?  Well who the eff knows!  I would love to separate our finances, but he says there is no point in being together if we separate our money??? What a joke that is, he just would never be able to pay his own bills and rent-- that is the problem.  He always turns it around on me and says to leave and go live on my own, sad thing is that I would be better off financially if I did!