I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and the affection was
very much there. After his inguinal hernia surgery (I supported him
emotionally, physically, and financially). After that, I read a message
about him meeting up with an old flame using my car. Claims he never
went, but no proof, so have no idea. Since then, things started to
diminish (to now non-existing). This has been an ongoing issue. Every
day, I sit on the chase on one side, and he sits on the couch. No effort
on his part to initiate anything more than dinner. Tried the damsel in
distress saying I was cold while he had the covers. . . this dame got
her own cover after it was ignored. I have tried talking to him, but
that turns into him shutting down and me feeling worse. Tried positive
reinforcement. Initiating it, you ask? I try to lay on him, but there's
always an excuse to get up, or he "gets too uncomfortable easily".
There are only three pop kisses a day at the most: Goodbye, Goodnight,
"Random" after I pick him up from work. Yes, you read right, I take him
to work and wait an hour to pick him back up. We joke around about us
being like Zack and Miri because I wake him up and we ride everywhere.
Only time the kisses are open mouth/in any romantic gestures are in the
morning when he goes to exit my car, and I am not a morning person.
This lack of affection is really affecting our biweekly sex life (during
the afternoon on a Sunday in the living room). Never get kissed for
that either. Well, it affects me anyway. If he doesn't ring the bell, he
then tells me to finish it myself and he zones out to the TV if I do
so. There have been attempts to spice things up, but that didn't get
things going. He lost interest within minutes of me dressing up like a
cop. Our night at a hotel didn't even involve cuddling. Got rejected
when trying to wake him up enough to want to fool around. Only hot day
we had was when he used syrup in the kitchen. Tried to rekindle that,
but that never gets very far.
So, when is there decent interaction? All I pretty much get is the
flirty/picking on each other type in the car or in a store. As soon as
we get home, it all stops and we just sit on the furniture until bed.
You would think that would encourage some intimacy. We are full size
people on two separate full size mattresses (we thought we bought a
queen on Craigslist, but we got screwed over). We can both fit on a full
size, but with him being over six feet and 360+ lbs, it does not give
him much space to sprawl out without me being scared to stretch and fall
He claims that he wants to be more affectionate/sexual, but at this
point, they are just words coming out of his mouth. I try to accept it,
but he sees the disappointed look in my face constantly. I have even
taken a brief break in the relationship due to this issue. I am 28 and
he is 31, why are we acting like this?
What more can a chick do?