Queen-
I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and the affection was
very much there. After his inguinal hernia surgery (I supported him
emotionally, physically, and financially). After that, I read a message
about him meeting up with an old flame using my car. Claims he never
went, but no proof, so have no idea. Since then, things started to
diminish (to now non-existing). This has been an ongoing issue. Every
day, I sit on the chase on one side, and he sits on the couch. No effort
on his part to initiate anything more than dinner. Tried the damsel in
distress saying I was cold while he had the covers. . . this dame got
her own cover after it was ignored. I have tried talking to him, but
that turns into him shutting down and me feeling worse. Tried positive
reinforcement. Initiating it, you ask? I try to lay on him, but there's
always an excuse to get up, or he "gets too uncomfortable easily".
There are only three pop kisses a day at the most: Goodbye, Goodnight,
"Random" after I pick him up from work. Yes, you read right, I take him
to work and wait an hour to pick him back up. We joke around about us
being like Zack and Miri because I wake him up and we ride everywhere.
Only time the kisses are open mouth/in any romantic gestures are in the
morning when he goes to exit my car, and I am not a morning person.
This lack of affection is really affecting our biweekly sex life (during
the afternoon on a Sunday in the living room). Never get kissed for
that either. Well, it affects me anyway. If he doesn't ring the bell, he
then tells me to finish it myself and he zones out to the TV if I do
so. There have been attempts to spice things up, but that didn't get
things going. He lost interest within minutes of me dressing up like a
cop. Our night at a hotel didn't even involve cuddling. Got rejected
when trying to wake him up enough to want to fool around. Only hot day
we had was when he used syrup in the kitchen. Tried to rekindle that,
but that never gets very far.
So, when is there decent interaction? All I pretty much get is the
flirty/picking on each other type in the car or in a store. As soon as
we get home, it all stops and we just sit on the furniture until bed.
You would think that would encourage some intimacy. We are full size
people on two separate full size mattresses (we thought we bought a
queen on Craigslist, but we got screwed over). We can both fit on a full
size, but with him being over six feet and 360+ lbs, it does not give
him much space to sprawl out without me being scared to stretch and fall
off.
He claims that he wants to be more affectionate/sexual, but at this
point, they are just words coming out of his mouth. I try to accept it,
but he sees the disappointed look in my face constantly. I have even
taken a brief break in the relationship due to this issue. I am 28 and
he is 31, why are we acting like this?
What more can a chick do?
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Usually this is a problem for men not women, so what you have is a little strange. My first thought was he must be gay, but that just does not explain it completely either as he had no problem sexing you up before. You are quite young to be experiencing this as well. That makes me think it is something embarrassing for him, ED perhaps. Erectile disfunction can effect young men. Perhaps you could try and talk to him about this, but proceed gently. It explains the suddeness of his change of heart in intimate situations.
ReplyDeleteI would try to arouse him - think back as well about his performance leading up to this situation.
Sometimes it is medical, sometimes psychological, and you both will need to try and figure it out together. Try and be supportive, even though it is hard!
If it were my marriage, I would be so happy in love and satisfied. Im a giver and love sex...all of it often. My wife is not at all. I can only wish and imagine...wow.
DeleteFuck all that...I only wish my wife was like that. We have plain sex twice a week. There is no other touching, kissing, oral...nothing! Its sex just to do the deed and frustrating. I am a very sexual person and have been looking at other women recently just to imagine what it would be like. Its so wrong. In fact there have been times where she busted me. I told her to then allow me to love you and enjoy all of you. Her resonse is null and void..refuses to do anything more. In fact, one night I just put my hand down there and she jumped up and said..dont fuckin touch me. WTF? Our sex ended right there that night. Since then its only quick sex, no communication and good night o silence. Why the fuck would I not be inclined to want other women and look. She doesnt get it when I say..you make the marriage yiu have.
ReplyDeleteWhat can I do? I love my wife and we have 3 kids..married 12 years.
Why would I Want to Stay in a Relationship once the Trust is gone! Lame but true, Once A cheater Always a Cheater! Love IMO Has nothing to do with this, it's more the Fear of being alone. I dated a guy who cheated on me and Once I found out he was cheating through the help of ''hackingloop6@ gmail . com''whom hacked his phone and gained me remote access to his phone activities, I Dropped his Ass and guess what later on I heard he cheated on his now current gf or by now should be ex if rumors are true she broke up with him. I don't trust cheaters, for me Once the Trust is Gone, EVERYTHING is GONE! hackingloop is also reachable on WhatsApp + 1 484 540 - 0785. ,contact him if your partner's commitment is in doubt,he's a real cyber genius.
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