Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Help Save My Boring Relationship
My boyfriend and I are about to celebrate our 2 yr anniversary, when last night he tells me that he's not happy. That maybe we need our space, so we can give ourselves room to grow. He said that he feels like he isn't able to grow and expand and express himself freely. He was talking about having no motivation and wondering why he's even living right now. He said he should have motivation to make a better life for us, but "Look at us, our home life, it's boring. This isn't what I want." It felt like one dagger to the heart over and over and over again as he revealed what had been going on inside of him. This isn't the first time that he has mentioned us getting separate apartments and that there's no excitement and we're not living life to the fullest. BUT in my defense he doesn't even like to leave the house. I try to find things for us to do & sometimes he's up for it and sometimes not. I try to make life entertaining, but anymore he just wants to stay home. It seems to happen when a series of events occurs.....too much stress at work (which has been pretty constant lately), listening to too much Alex Jones (this guy makes me want to end my life) & not a lot of sex going on in the bedroom. As the saying goes....when the sex is great, it is only 10% of the relationship, but when it's not great, it is 90% of the relationship. I have a low libido and I've tried things to rev it up, but I'm not having much luck. I've even gone off my birth control pills to try to bring it back. I had a tubal so no fear of pregnancy, thank God considering where I'm sitting this morning.
I don't know what to do at this point. I feel so confused. He tells me that he believes I'm the one and that we're going to be together, then he tells me he needs his space and we don't have enough in common, then I'm the one, then he needs his space. This morning when I brought this up he says "Well don't you want me to say nice things? And if I'm not consistent, don't you think that means you better have a Plan B if things aren't going to work?"
Mon - Fri we have approximately 4 hrs together (give or take) I come home, do dishes, get dinner ready, we eat, we try to relax, we shower & we go to bed. Yes, this is boring, but what are we supposed to do EXCITING in this short span of time. He says we're not making the most of it. What could we be doing differently? He says we don't talk, but he always has Alex Jones on and I know that's how he relaxes, so why would I try to take this away from him or interrupt it?? He says we don't have the same interests, but lately his interest have been Alex Jones (again this guy scares me out of my mind) and his work (our jobs are completely unrelated).
Our lease is up in May so it sounds like he's willing to give us this time to figure things out. I want us to stay together. I just don't know what to do right now. A huge part of me wants to believe that it's just his job really stressing him out. I mean this job is literally sucking the life out of him. It's all he thinks about and all he does. Of course, come the weekend he doesn't want to do anything...he's drained, but I think he fails to see that then it turns around on me, that we're not exciting.
Happy Couples.........Please......how do you make life exciting??? Help me save my relationship!!!