Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The BF and The TP

OMG guys this is a doosy, be careful there is explicit language, and I can almost hear this woman's teeth grinding... I am scared... very scared!  Read on if you dare.


Queen,

Ok, here goes...we live together, and have a for quite a few years now...*mostly* happily, but this relationship is not without it's fair share of problems.

First, he's a slob, regarding clutter, and I'm fucking fed up with it.
The cleaner I am, the sloppier he is. Fucker can't even change the roll of T.P. in our bathroom because he says he's "too busy". This is a universal man problem I know. What is with you guys that you can't take LITERALLY 30 seconds to change the fucking roll of T.P.?

Ok, I admit, I am an anally retentive neat freak of the highest order! I long for my single days, living alone. When I lived alone, my apartment was IMMACULATE at all times of the day or night. I LOVED coming home with no cleaning to do. Perfect cleanliness and order everyday! This shit actually makes me fucking HAPPY!! The only clutter I had was my ass on my clean couch! I could invite any random man I wanted over, to my CLEAN place, have the sex I wanted and needed without all this damn headache of having to clean up after a man!

I had a patio with beautiful plants and flowers, there was no dust. My bed was always neatly made, no water spots on my sink or mirrors, no junk drawers full of crap, my closets were organized, no dirty dishes in my sink ever existed. I clean up after myself. It's not hard. Things stay clean when you ARE CLEAN! People who live like slobs, baffle me. How can anyone live like that????? Isn't it embarrassing????? It is a reflection on YOU. If your home is dirty and sloppy, that is what people will think and believe of you! I can't count how many people, friends invite me over, and always I enjoy great company....but if their house stinks, I am secretly disgusted!!!!!!!

Now, my patio is filled with power tools, boxes of his garbage, from one end to the other, cement to ceiling, with not a clean spot out there. If I clean it up, the crap MAGICALLY appears there the next fucking day, and I have to start over.

I feel like that old 70's T.V. show now..."Sanford & Son". Might as well be the local trash dump. It's embarrassing to me when we have guests. We look like white trash in a trailer park with all his fucking crap. If I ask him to clean his crap, he'll politely say he'll "get around to it" while he parks his ass, on my couch playing video games. This fuck of a bf is 46 yrs. old, and I am 41. If I wanted a kid, I would have one, but I remain happily childless for a reason. I want a man, not a child who can't clean up after himself. I want a partner, not a fucking sloppy child playing video games 24/7 This shit alone makes me want to dump him. I figure dumping him would be like taking out the trash. I can have my "clutter free" life back.

I'd like to say that the sex is FANTASTIC, and it is...when we have it. I never met a man in my life before him who was a prude in bed. He's a prude. a FRIGID fucking prude! I want sex all the time, he is happy with only "once a month". Nope, he's not gay. If he was, he wouldn't be such a slob. At least gay men are neat about their shit...I'll give them that!!!

It's not like he's not attracted to me anymore either. Oh, he is....and my man is too lazy and too pussy to even cheat on me if he was unsatisfied. What a big ass pussy, and I've lost all respect for him because of this reason. He don't even own his own ball-sack!

My man is also a SUCKER. He has SUCKER written all over his forehead, and it's pathetic! Last night some drugged out, young man came to our door. If you saw this guys eyeballs, they were bloodshot and dilated. He BEGGED my bf for money at our door "shaking" like he was going through withdrawals, and needed his "fix". He told my bf it was for a magazine subscription. My stupid bf was ready to hand over his entire wallet to this druggie kid when I stepped in and stopped it. I asked this kid to show proof, i.d "anything".... He had none. I politely told him to try another place, as we have no money to give..(lie) and my bf got IRATE!!!

Could you believe this started a fight?!
My bf said I was a bitch, because I was looking out for him, and didn't want to see his SUCKER-ASS get ripped by a drug addled kid who was scamming him. Sometimes I think I am smarter than him. Sometimes I KNOW I AM, and last night was one of those times!

We went to bed in silence. He snored, and farted in bed...fucking "lovely". I moved my ass to the couch....at least it didn't stink like farts there, and I could sleep in peace without all the damn snoring. When I woke up, I had to nail the roof back on, his snoring and farting was sooooo bad! DISGUSTING!

lot's of hot sex, has needs, etc., and if I can't have a "grown-up man" who is my "intellectual equal", fun to be with, conversate with, whom can make me laugh, who is not a "sucker" or a "pussy", who has more ambition in this life to do anything else but play video games at the age of 46, has BALLS, *MAJOR BALLS* than I'll be happy to grow old and alone single!!!!! I can have and do have "plenty" of toys to do this job, it's just gets old without intelligent conversation and someone to enjoy a good home-cooked meal, and outing, a road trip, with or even breakfast!!!

Yeah...I might just dump this man, go back to being single, have my shit in order the way I like, and hell....adopt 5 cats, so SUE ME!!!! Cats are cleaner than men anyway. At least they shit cleanly....in a box, bury their turds and well, only have to change the damn litter!

Having 5 cats sure seem better than having a "sloppy man" who can't take care of himself, and isn't into much sex anyway!!!!
Sometimes, this whole scenario looks better than growing old with some slob of a man, who sucks in bed, sucks out my whole life-blood, and my happiness, and can't change the god-damned roll of T.P.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rant over!

10 comments:

  1. "Might just dump this man"???? I would of been out the door several months ago...sheesh

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  2. It sounds like you're part of the problem.Why haven't you dumped him already?He's a child, stop being his mother.Men and toilet paper rolls? How about women who can't put the seat back up and complain about urine on the seat?Not all gay men are neat and tidy, trust me.Why don't you generalize some more?

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  3. WOW its way past the "bewitching hour" RUN! Kick his lazy ass out and get you some cats! Oh and she might want to consider turning lesbian cause if you can find a man that cleans up after himself and doesn't fart or play video-games he would be a gay man!

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  4. I'm with you... kick him out and enjoy a nice, tidy life. One that the *right* guy will contribute to, not detract from and make a mess of! Sex isn't good, home life isn't good... what is? Start fresh. And good luck!

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  5. i'm assuming COMPROMISING is out of the question?


    ***ladyvader99.blogspot.com***

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  6. If hate him enough to write about him and call him names, its definitely not going to work out. Cut your losses it's not meant to be. It's sounds as if it's making you angry, why get yourself wound up, take some you time, and breathe!

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  7. Holy *(&^. All I an say is don't have kids. All I do is clean up all day long. I think it's like a game for them.

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  8. Sounds like you already made up your mind, hon. (Oh, and the slobbery isn't a "man" thing - I'm the messy one in my relationship.)

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  9. wow- why would you be with someone you not only obviously have no respect for, but don't seem to even like?? I think that says a lot about yourself.

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  10. Well, at least your FEMALE roommate isn't the same way. At least you can get rid of him? Or hire a cleaning service to chase him.

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Let it out...

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