I wrote this to my ex, and I would like to get some feedback from your readers if at all possible.
I love you and I am going to miss you.
I can't live without sex.
The sex is infrequent. And it is hurried. Oral sex is off the table. In fact, your breasts have been off the table for 2 years now. Once a month is ridiculous. And when I ask for it, it is pity sex, which is the worst.
The rejection I constantly receive is humiliating. It used to make me feel as if I was ugly, or unworthy of being loved. Then I realized that I am actually in amazing shape, and I am in better shape then when we were married. And I am a decent human being, who provides for his family, is a great dad, gets you gifts and pays attention. I wish to have some warmth, even a hug, from someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I am sick of being made out that I am an over demanding freak.
Being tired doesn't cut it. I'm the one doing the laundry, making lunches, picking up all the slack for everything in the house. I'm tired, and I'm really tired of all the excuses. And I was never tired of you, or listening to you, until now.
Sometimes, I would even just love a hug, and a passionate kiss. And you are unable or unwilling to do so.
I have discussed it with you. I have been more than attentive. And where you have asked me to improve myself, I have. You just happen to not want to change anything.
I can't spend the rest of my life hoping that one day you will love me, be physically warm, or interested in me sexually. It's not reasonable to think that at the age of 65, you will finally turn around...why would anyone wait that long for someone who is so uncaring.
I am sure there is one woman who will love me for me, and will not hesitate to show me. I honestly thought it was you. That is why I married you, why I hug you, why I go to work, why I listen to how your day was, what you are interested in doing.
So now I am saving my money so I can get a bachelor apt for myself, and mentally preparing for everything I need to give up.
I am ok to start all over again. Others have done it, and I am so fed up, I am not going to even argue about any of the possessions.
I am going to miss seeing our son. I will continue to provide support for him. But honestly, you are so vindictive that you will turn him against me, and I really just want him to grow up strong and healthy, so I am not going to bother fighting with you. Just do the best that you can, and please, keep in mind our son should have a positive image of both of us. For my own emotional stability, I can't be around you.
In about 2 months our life is going to change dramatically. And to me, I can't wait. I really just want someone to love. And that is an adventure I really wish to take.
My one regret is not having done this sooner.
Take care.
Wow! Dude...there are A LOT of women complaining about the same thing with their husbands. (Maybe not so much the sex, but the attention and what not) Go out there and find you a woman that will appreciate you!! Good men are so hard to find anymore and it is very sad that you are taken for granted.
ReplyDeleteAwesome letter. Can we hear the response?
Is this for real?? Someone may actually give this to their wife? Wow, I just hope he's already expressed all of this prior to leaving because if this is the first time she's heard any of it, she's not to blame for the failed relationship, he is.
ReplyDeleteBetter late then never, huh?
ReplyDeleteIn my two previous marriages sex was never NEVER the issue! If she isn't giving it to you it's definitely going to someone else! Way to go! Take your pride and dignity out the door with you and be happy...life is too short to be miserable!
ReplyDeleteI hope that you have expressed this to your wife- and perhaps there is something wrong with her- maybe her libido is not very strong-have you tried to ask her about this? Maybe you could suggest some supplement for her so she has the desire? It does sound like you have tried, but perhaps she is just a awful selfish person-it is so hard to tell without some background info. I wish you luck, and your wife and hopefully you can make this work if it is something that is worth fighting for.
ReplyDeleteIt's obviously not just the sex though... he says she's the type of person to turn his son against him. Sounds like there's more to it.
ReplyDeleteGo live your life, you only have one. The courts can make sure you see your son. Be a good example to him, and find some true love.
My love send me an email so I can explain to you what you asked :) *muah*
ReplyDeleteThat letter is very well written, sounds like the wife is losing an amazing husband.
ReplyDeleteI saw the title of this post and thought this would be full of hate and anger, but it just made me very sad. It sounds like you're doing the right thing, and I wish the best of luck to you.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I would encourage you to do what you can to keep your son in your life. Not wanting to be around your ex-wife will not be enough of a reason for him to justify your leaving - for him, he'll just see that you didn't try.
The thing about this is...he said Ex-Wife. If it's over what is the point of this? I'm just saying...it's kind of cruel to tell your ex everything that's wrong with them AFTER you broke up...even though I have ALWAYS wanted to do that!
ReplyDeleteHere's the thing. Why give her the warning, if there's no hope in changing the outcome? Seems to me, if he's done, he should not give her false hope that there's something to salvage. And calling her vindictive in re: to the son will only make it worse. Just strike that sentance out and she'll know where you stand on your new relationship with your son. All things aside, I actually think it's well written and to the point. He's given more of a reason than most men as to why it's over. Becasue as we all know, it's never really all about the sex, and I think he conveyed that well. -J
ReplyDeleteThat is sad. :(
ReplyDeleteOkay, coming from a virgin: YOU ARE MARRIED & YOU HAVE INFREQUENT SEX!!!!! NO PASSIONATE KISSES!!! NO HUGS!!! You are not a freak for desiring more.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the slight hormonal outburst. Anyway, BEFORE giving her that letter, please make certain you have told her each and every part of what you have written down. It's going to be a difficult letter for her to read, if she has feelings.
Have you two tried counseling?
The first part of the letter angered me...then I felt sad for you. I truly hope you can find someone who will share all levels of love with you.
I'm sorry, but I didn't see this letter the way everyone else is banging on about it, and I'm going to be totally honest with my opinion here.
ReplyDeleteYour wife sounds like she is depressed or suffering in some way to have withdrawn from you physically and emotionally. You may have said what YOU need and YOU want, but have you done the same for her?
And also, the last part about your son to me sounds bitchy and vindictive, as if you're trying to get revenge on her for how hurt you feel.
Resorting to a letter to tell someone how you feel clearly shows you haven't told her how you feel to her face, and that's the lowest of the low.
I don't know you at all but when I read this post I just wanted to yell out I'll love you! I guess having gone down a similar track I wanted to say I feel what you going through. Take care and I hope things work out for the best x
ReplyDeleteman i feel u im in the same boat but i have 2 daughters with this bitch theirs a thin line between love and hate and she streches it everyday.. i just dont want my daughters not havin me there everyday for them and i would b crushed without them n e help from n e 1
ReplyDeleteWell stated letter sir. I am in a similar situation. I am to be divorced in the near future. I had enough of the woman berating me. Sex life was more like having sex with a friend of which never happened. Once in a few months or so. We have three beautiful children...all little girls of who miss their Daddy so much. I get to see them about 13 percent of the year. Not much when I was a stay at home dad due to a job loss. My future ex wife put her new business startup aspirations above her Family...us...and on another note...she cherished her parents and immediate family more than her own husband. I built up enough resentment over time that I developed depression and shortly following, I stopped cherishing my wife. I was done, by the way in which I was treated. If I were to be myself, I was put down, manipulated and to have my children see this happening...it was enough. My kids will figure it out in the future for they don't like being home at present. I am so much better off than hanging out with that insensitive human being. Someone that lacks communication skills and above all the ability to really love someone. On another note, I have been happy to have the opportunity to meet some very nice women over the last few months. Heck, I am a very attractive man and now I have received so much attention just because I am no longer with my future ex wife. Oh well...she lost a very good man. Now I have a new relationship of which this woman truly treats me very well. Best wishes to the future ex and I sure hope my kids don't take after her.
ReplyDeleteFuck yeh start over.....I have 2 sons with my wife 19 & 16 and they are hers not mine she has always overruled me in the house and put her immediate family before me....I let go fighting years ago...good luck
ReplyDelete