Just want to say that I enjoy reading your posts, and I have finally conjured up enough strength to send you one of my own rants. Hopefully your readers can help me figure out what is going on. My boyfriend of 5 months just started hanging out with an old friend about 2 months ago that he has not seen in awhile. I did not think anything about it, other then maybe he just moved back to town or something. Then about a month ago his friend would come over, and they would sneak to the garage or behind the garage. I started wondering what they were doing, but when I try to sneak up on them they tell me to get the fuck outta here.
I don't even try anymore now, I am pregnant and 18. He's 37 and I have no where to go if I leave him. After they come from the garage he gets all apologetic and all lovey dovey. Then in the morning time he's mean and tired and complains of stomach aches. He even shook me hard one morning because I put too much salt on his eggs??? One minute he is telling me I'm beautiful, then later on I'm ugly.
Is it drugs? Gayness or both. Why all these personality changes? One minute he's up and then he is down, then hyper, then super tired and he won't even bathe some days. Sometimes he's extremely forgetful and he forgets to pick me up from doctors appointments or forgets to pay his employees, and they come over looking for him and are not happy.
What is wrong with him, he was fine until a couple of months ago, and now he is a completely different person. What has his friend done to him, and what is with all of this strange behaviour?
Could it be drugs or maybe he is bipolar? How can I find out what he is doing in that garage?
First of all, whatever your situation, if you're unhappy in a relationship you shouldn't be in it, whether you're pregnant or not. There are a lot of places to get support and your family will have your back no matter what. If this guy has started getting abusive with you (shaking you, being verbal), then his behaviour could get a lot worse and more frightening, and who's to say he wouldn't get like that towards your baby?
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, if the issue is workable and you aren't totally unhappy then it's fine to give things a go.
You could be jumping to conclusions thinking he's gay or that he's taking drugs, and it's easy to let speculation get the better of you. So I would just try to get him at a quiet moment and ask who this guy is, how he knows him, what their background together is - and go from there. If his reaction is that it's none of your business or words to that effect, then you know he's definitely hiding something and you have every right to get angry and suspicious - people shouldnt have secrets in their relationships, right?
If he admits to something you don't like the sound of - eg he's doing drugs - then all you can do is let him know you disapprove, but will try to be supportive and help him get through it. And if it is to do with his sexuality, then maybe it's best to let him go.
wow.. you're 18... and pregnant... and he's ALREADY showing signs of this?!?! honey take it from a girl who's lived it a LONG time and luckily enough my guy pulled his head out of his ass.... straight up ask him, give him a shot to tell you the truth and if he's not willing to be honest now... get the fuck out... RUN... you won't regret it...focus on you and that baby... ♥
ReplyDeleteYou need to find out what is going on, and it does not sound like you get much of a chance to communicate with your man as you are afraid to set him off. Everything about this situation seems wrong, but I am trying not to jump to any conclusions. Perhaps you could set up a camera to see what they are doing, or look for clues like if things have been moved around or if he is hiding something in there. Be careful hun, and tell him how you feel. This friend seems to be the problem.
ReplyDeleteMy guess would be drugs. Have you asked him point blank what is going on? Or are you scared to? If that's the case get out of there quick because whether he is a crackhead, gay or bp you are not comfortable around him and it mostly likely won't get any better. Get out of there while you can! You're too young to settle for that kind of life and you have a baby to think about now. I wasted 8 years of my life with a man because I didn't think I "could make it", you would be surprised what you can do when you decide to make your own choices and not depend on someone for your life's happiness.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what it's like to be 18 and pregant with a man who doesn't treat you the right way. Fact remains he is an adult at 37 and should know better than to treat you this way.
ReplyDeleteI doubt that the hiding and suspicious time alone is related to his sexuality. With his mood changed, anger, and swings I would think drugs. Again, this is unfounded but I would confront him...or ask him to take an at home drug test. Tell him if you are going to raise a child together you need honesty and if he's not going to be open with you then you are going to start looking for answers on your own.
You deserve them. Good luck sweetie.
Something isn't right here. You are absolutely right to be concerned.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I do agree that you need to ask him what is going on, I worry about him getting physical with you. Perhaps have family around (or people you trust) when you talk with him. I worry about your safety and that of your unborn child. He's clearly hiding something.
In the end, this kind of behavior is not something I would put up with. I know you are young and pregnant, but you are also a strong young woman--you'd have to be to stay in this situation as long as you have--you ARE strong enough to stand on your on two feet and find your way in this world. I believe you just might underestimate your own strength (we all do at some point).
Look at JK Rowling--she left her husband with a young baby, no money, etc. She left a less than happy situation. Instead, she got out--and look at her today.
Don't sell yourself short, sweetheart--you are stronger than you know. You have your whole life ahead of you--follow your dreams.
Queen: I gave you a blog award!!! Check my blog for details.
Wow, my first thought was... drugs. The all lovy dovy part-- drugs can do that to you, then the next morning you're cranky and hung over.
ReplyDeleteGayness is also possible. It's also possible that its both, because while it is not stereotypical, the two go together quite often.
Do you smell anything funny around in the garage? Check his nostrils, his breath, his arms without him knowing it, if you really need to know.
I agree with everyone else here-- get outta there. It is not as hopeless as you think it is. You're not stuck there, although it feels like it. Him shaking you... what would he do to the baby while its growing up?
My ex boyfriend used to smoke cannabis ALL the time like all day and night, this made him very paranoid and he used to be quite nasty and then the next minute he'd be really apologetic and want to make it up to me.
ReplyDeleteI would say he's definitely doing some kind of drug now whether you are against this or not isn't the point.
The point is, he's been sneaky and if you want a relationship to work then each party has to be honest, especially as you are pregnant you don't need any extra stress, worrying about what he might be doing.
You really need to sit down with him and both of you need to talk rationally, you need to say how you feel and let him say how he feels, there may be things he's not happy about either.
I hope this helps, but reading everyone else's comments if he's not prepared to sort things out and he carry's on with it then yes get out of there but give him a chance first.
So how you have to figure out a way to leave him for yourself but more important for your baby. If he is like this now it will only get worse once your baby is born!! It is better to be without a man than with one that doesn't treat you like you should be treated!!
ReplyDeleteWhy are you with a 37 year old man at 18 in th e first place? Where are your parents or family? Can they help? You deserve respect and safety (especially your baby). If you don't respect yourself no one else will. You have another precious life to think about now. Would you want your daughter or son in a position like yours later on?
ReplyDelete