Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Do I Have A Reason To Be Worried?

All my amazing readers,  thank you for the wonderful advice- I am afraid I have given you all such a bad outlook on my relationship that we come across as unstable and hey maybe we are, but relationships are hard work, and there will be disagreements and misconceptions.  I just tend to rant about all the bad things without telling you all how great he is-and how we have an amazing time together. When it comes to having children it is just not something I can compromise on, and if he does not want them or has changed his mind over time, we just need to figure that out and move on.

Will I still love him if he does not want children-of course I will, but what that says is that we are just at different times in our lives and want different things.  I will not have regretted anything-I will have lived and learned.  What I do know is that I want to be a mother, I want the stress I want the poop and the puke.  I want to stay up all night to make sure they are okay, and I know I was meant to do this.  Not because I am a woman and I have a calling, but because it is something I really want.  I would not blame him for wasting my time, and I would not blame him for changing his mind, that is up to him.  I do not want to pressure someone into having children, and relationships do not work on ultimatums. I would prefer to part our ways over this then finding someone cheating or because we are not in love anymore...

That being said, I will share someone else's problems with you today lol, while I try to figure out my own.  You have said your piece and so have I, now it is up to me and him to figure out what the heck we want to do and what our future entails.  Love you all!


The other night I took my wife out to dinner and a movie at Town Square. We had dinner at the Yahrd House and then after the movie went back to the bar for drinks.
So we were drinking at the bar when she got up and went to the ladies room.  I guess while she was coming back she ran into some guy she knows from her work. He's a former coworker that was her supervisor and trained her when she started there about 7 years ago.

So after a half hour of her being gone, I go looking for her and find her sitting with this guy. Ok so far no problem, you know just friends running into eachother having a quick drink getting reacquainted. Completely fine.

The first problem I have is that he never invited me to join them, in fact he acted annoyed that I was even there. I also noticed that she made no effort to include me in their conversation. They just sat at the bar talking, flirting and drinking, while I stood there with no seat just waiting and looking like an idiot.

After a couple of hours of being ignored I asked her if we could leave and she said that I could go but she wanted to stay and her friend could give her a ride. When I started to protest, the guy got all mad and said I was being a jerk about it. They exchanged their phone numbers and made plans to meet up for drinks the next night without me.

So now me and my wife aren't talking, she went to the beauty parlor today and she is going shopping with her sister for new clothes and shoes and is going out with this guy tonight without me.
She says it's all my fault because I was a jealous jerk the other night so I am not invited.

Should I go anyway or just ignore it?


  1. Dude, it's Vegas. You know better. Affairs and non-harmless flirtations are everywhere. If your wife is shopping for new clothes and getting her hair done before meeting up with a 'friend', you know it's not because they're friends. You've seen it all the time, I'm sure, hard not to here, just sucks to be happening to you this time.

    Put your foot down. Wives to not go out on dates with other men. They no longer work together, they have no reason to get together. ESPECIALLY without you. Tell her you're fine going with her, but if you can't go, neither can she. She's acting like a teenager, and deserves to be treated like it.

  2. Aaarggh. Sorry, take mine with a grain of salt right now, I'm all sorts of bitter. Same deal, except 2 weeks later mine decided the other person was worth ending our relationship.

  3. Dude: That was rude of not only her but of that other guy... Could it be the way the other was acting that your wife has met up w/him before? and I don't mean before u two were exclusive... If that happened to me, I definitely would have packed my bags.

  4. I think you have every reason to be upset. That was unacceptable on her behalf to not stop by your table to tell you she ran into a friend and can he join your table...not the other way around. Also no woman gets all done up like that without wanting to impress the guy and having the expectation that something sexual might happen. She is your wife and as such if you are uncomfortable with her going out with this man without you, should stay home with no argument. As a compromise maybe he can come to your house for dinner one night where you can all get to know eachother, but I think she's being unfair to you.

  5. Queen - I'm sorry I didn't post to your other entry, but I wasn't sure what to say.
    If a person wants to get married and their partner doesn't, or if they want a baby and their partner doesn't, then one of you will end up unhappy, settling for what the other person wants - be that him agreeing to children or you settling without them.
    If this is what you really want out of a relationship and to have those times ahead and you pass up on them, then it may be something you regret later on. It just comes down to whether he would make you happier than children would.

    Rant/entry - I would say that even though they've both been unfair to you, I would take the blame - act as if you HAVE been a jerk and apologise to your wife, tell her you got off on the wrong foot with this guy and suggest you all go out for drinks to make up for it. If there is something uncomfortable in the air then you'll know something's gone on, and will then have a reason to question their "friendship". And if he's a douche, you'll have every right to stand up for yourself.

    I have to admit that your wife getting all "done up" DOES seem suspect... If she's angry at you then she clearly didn't do it for you!

    Good luck! x

  6. This seems a little fishy to me as well. Speaking as a wife, I don't think that I'd ever purposefully exclude my partner from any conversation I'd be having. Especially one that involved a man he'd never met, during a night out with him.
    Whatever her reasons (innocent, hopefully) it's rude for her to be gone from your table for 30 minutes, not ask you to join them, or them to join you. Staying at the bar with him, alone, and then going out with him, alone, are two activities that I can unequivocally say I would not do because, regardless of the intention, it comes off as shady.
    I'm guessing that if you did the same thing to her, she would feel the same way that you do. I'd hope that if you explained your feelings to her, she'd understand and then invite you along to squash any of your concerns.
    Best of luck on this sucky situation.


Let it out...

Related Posts with Thumbnails