So yeah, my husband freakin likes to get online and sign up for singles sites or he'll create profiles on mocospace, myspace and all that other crap, and he gets girls to call him. He then lies to them, telling them he's a single dad (because lets face it, you can't ignore the kid in the background). Or he'll send them messages and shit, and tell them how beautiful they are. WTF?!?! He never tells me that sh*t!!! I have caught him doing this on many occasions in our 2 years of being together. He gets caught, says he's sorry, and then waits about 3 to 4 months before he f*cks up again.
At this point, I'm like, whatever, about it. F*ck it, i can't afford to move out and I can't afford for him to move out, so f*ck it right? Every man will have their flaw. Seriously, like I can hope for some great guy to walk into my life?? Please, that "hopeless romantic" part of me died years and years ago. Sometimes I miss her. awwww. Whatever.
He even said he would go to sexaholics anonymous, got in touch w/ some dude there and then never went. He just said it to make me think he was remorseful and actually wanted to change I guess. Whatever the f*ck! I got his game down now! No one is believing the lies! Reminds me of that Eminem song, Love the Way You Lie, except instead of the physical abuse, it's more emotional, or it was.
Now I'm just freakin cold about sh*t.
He says, "I Love You"----I hear, "I LIE"
He says, "I'm sorry"-----I hear, "I LIE"
He says, "I won't do it again"----I hear, "I LIE"
If times weren't so rough, and money so low, I'm pretty sure he'd be gone. Whatever I guess.
Just f*cken leave so I can mourn the loss of our relationship and what were once nice days. Eventually the stupid a*s tears will dry and guess what? I'm gonna be okay.
Instead of telling him to leave, it may make a bigger impact if u leave...the longer u stay he may think you are ok w/the situation, too chicken to leave or don't care...If push comes to shove get him served w/divorce paper... All talk and no action is like someone crying wolf.
ReplyDeleteI bet it felt good to get that out-I do not know why you stay-are you trapped? Perhaps give him a dose of his own medicine-bad advice-but at least you are not doing it for the same reasons he is-I am like that though, I always want to get back at people the same way they hurt me, but it never works the same way. Do you know if he meets up with these women, or is it strictly online? I would be tempted to just leave-go find someone that will love you and tell you that you are beautiful-you deserve it
ReplyDeleteUm...I don't care if I had to live in a box...I would not put up with that. At all. You are basically giving him permission to cheat.
ReplyDeleteFool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
He may not be physically cheating, but emotional infidelity often leaves the deepest scars and pain for women. There is no reason to tolerate that. Can you lock him out of the computer? Put passwords on it to keep him off the internet? I would put my foot down. Go to couples therapy if you want to make it work. Seems like his own insecurities reaching out for attention from women. I know you don't want to build him up as a man after all he's done, but somewhere along the way he stopped feeling man enough and had to go elsewhere. That's what he needs to work on.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the luck in the world. I know it's hard to leave relationships once children are involved, and the internet has been the end of a lot of relationships I know of, but in the end you are worth more. You deserve more. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
If he is open--truly open--to therapy, then try it. If not, and if you cannot see yourself being able to trust him again (wouldn't blame you if you couldn't), you shouldn't stay. It sounds like he's quite comfortable being a broken record: Cheats--apologizes--cheats again. I agree with Jewels--you need to put your foot down; go to counseling, otherwise he is just going to keep doing what he's doing, knowing he can get away with it and not worry about possibly losing you. Perhaps when faced with the possibility of losing you, he will start to see the severity of the situation. I'm truly sorry you are going through this, and I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteI stayed in a crappy relationship for 8 years because I thought I "couldn't make it on my own". There wasn't the ease and convenience of computers in our home at the time but he sure found lots of willing bodies in other ways. The day I finally made the decision to end that chapter I was earning 7.50/hr, had two kids and my sister to look after. It all worked out. It can work out for you too. You would be surprised at the strength you have when you are no longer in a co-dependent relationship.
ReplyDeletevery un-cool! great advice above!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what your financial situation is and it seems like you're trapped, but I would find a way to leave him and do it -neither you or your kids need a figure like that in your life, you need respect and love.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't afford to move out, just give him a piece of his own medicine! Life is too short to be un-happy! Good luck my friend!
ReplyDeleteI think that cyber cheating is just a step along the way to physical cheating. This doesn't even sound like a relationship that is at that too good to leave too bad to stay point because I'm not hearing any good in this scenario. Time to go no matter what the financial situation is, if you let that trap you, you will never get the courage to move on, and as many others have mentioned, life truly is too short to put up with this behavior.
ReplyDeleteJust because he isn't going out and doing anything with these women does not mean its not cheating. You need to ask him straight up why he feel the need to do this. You should be his main concern and if he doesn't stop, kick him to the curb.
ReplyDelete