Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Why Am I Here?

I've come to a point in my life where I don't know what to do and where to go anymore.  I'm 30 years old and I have nothing to show for it. My friends can be counted with one hand.  My family are living hundreds and thousands of miles away from me.  Everyday, I do the same thing over and over again. I wake up, I go to gym, I go to work, I come home, I watch TV, I go to bed.  On the weekend, it's even worse. I wake up, I go to gym, I come home, and I do nothing... My mind is driving me insane.

Tell me, what is the purpose of life? Why are we here? And please don't give me any of your religious bullshit. Been there, done that, didn't help.  People are so fake. They smile in front of you. But, as soon as you turn your back to them, they're ready to stab you.

Why am I here? What's my purpose?  I'm too lonely.... just too lonely...


  1. I am in the same boat and agree with you about people. I don't know what would make it better. If you ever find out, share it with the rest of us. The one thing that made me happy today was finding inconsistencies in some financial reporting. Why it made me happy? I don't know ...

  2. I bet you are both women!

  3. WOW!

    You said: I've come to a point in my life where I don't know what to do and where to go anymore

    I say: Get a grip! Stop feeling sorry for yourself is somewhere you could start. I know that sounds harsh, but it is the same thing I was told when I was in similar mindset of sitting around doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself all the time!

    You said: I'm 30 years old and I have nothing to show for it. My friends can be counted with
    one hand.

    I say: Join the freaking club, lol! I am 27, have nothing to show for it. In fact, I'm about to be evicted, have no job. But I am ever so grateful for the 3(to be counted on one hand) awesome friends I have!

    You said: My family are living hundreds and thousands of miles away from me.

    I say: I have no family. Think about the other people out there in the world who have no family, grew up in foster care or whose family is dead, etc. And again, stop feeling sorry for yourself or pack your stuff and move closer!

    You said: Everyday, I do the same thing over and over again. I wake up, I go to gym, I go to work, I come home, I watch TV, I go to bed.

    I say: Be grateful you have a job that allows you to pay for gym membership a home to live in, etc. bc there are MILLIONS out there right now that don't!

    You said: On the weekend, it's even worse. I wake up, I go to gym, I come home, and I do nothing... My mind is driving me insane.

    I say: Again...GET A GRIP! You choose to do nothing & sit there and do nothing! Choose to do something different.

    You say: Tell me, what is the purpose of life? Why are we here? And please don't give me any of your religious bullshit. Been there, done that, didn't help.

    I say: I don't have an answer, I'm still seeking that answer myself! But good luck finding it!

    You say: People are so fake. They smile in front of you. But, as soon as you turn your back to them, they're ready to stab you.

    I say: Why do you let them get to you?

    You say:Why am I here? What's my purpose? I'm too lonely.... just too lonely...

    I say: You are here bc one day a man and a women had sex & you were conceived, she decided to give birth to you & then you were born. You are the only one who can find purpose in your life, no one can tell you what it is. Lonely - you choose to be lonely, choose not to be!

    Have a great evening!

  4. Thanks for your insight on my situation. Here's my response.

    I don't feel sorry for myself and I don't just sit around doing nothing (before you make a comment, read first).
    I had "friends" in the past with whom I would spend my time hanging out with. However, as we grew older, one by one started disappearing.
    My friends started having girlfriends, boyfriends, whatever and they would stop hanging out; which is fine and dandy with me because people have their own lives so it's understandable.
    However, what I don't get is, do you really have to cut all ties with your "friend" once you're in a relationship? Once you get married?

    I had a roommate with whom I shared an apartment for five years. He was like my brother. But then he found a girlfriend...got married. I was happy for him. But now? I haven't seen him in a couple of years.

    Another friend of mine, we went to college together, took some of the same classes together. She was a good friend, or so I thought.
    When she was having a problem with her boyfriend, She'd come to me for advice. Until one day, she told me that she wanted to break up with her boyfriend of four years because he hadn't proposed to her.
    I told her not to do it, because it's four years down the drain and that the next guy might not want to get married after all. However, she was insistent. So I told her, if you're going to break up, don't do it half-assed and really mean it.
    Guess what? She got pissed at me and started telling her other friends that I wanted to break her up with her boyfriend so I could jump in when she's most vulnerable and that she would fall for me. WOW!
    I had known her eight years and that's what she thought of me? WOW...

    That was just a couple of how I lost my friends, how they just disappear and out of my life. One by one by one, they all went away.
    You said, I chose NOT to do anything about it? Wrong!
    I go to the gym and I would like to meet people at the gym. Maybe find a work out partner. But guess what? Nope... the girls will think that I'm just a creepy dude that try to hit on them.
    The guys are either gay, or they're just too jacked up on roids and act like the king of the world.

    I tried to learn how to Salsa. I joined a dance club, met a few people... but there was just too much animosity. The guys only cared to meet the girls.
    The girls then will have drama with the guys from the club. After a few months, the people I met had come and gone.

    I go running at the Park, but does anybody really meet people at the park? I doubt it.

    You said, I sit around feeling sorry for myself? Nope, I've gone out to bars. I've picked up activities. I go to house parties. The end result is always the same.
    You said there are other people who have no family and that I'm lucky enough to have family even though they live hundred and thousands and miles away and that I should pack up and move. Really? Move to be close with my sister and her husband in a different city, or move and forget my life here to be in a different country so I can be near my parents? Nope, moving is not the best solution for me.

    Yes, I'm grateful that I have a job that pay for my gym membership. I know there are millions of people out there who are still looking and not able to find jobs. However, there are also millions out there that don't even try and just ask for money on the streets.
    Or they just abuse the system. I don't worry about the lazy people, and I'm not going to worry about the people that can't find jobs. Worrying about them is not going to make my situation any better. I'm still going to feel lonely.

    And again, I didn't choose to be lonely. I've tried meeting people, picking up new activities. But for whatever reason... Nothing's working so far.
    Thank you, again, for your insight. All comments are most definitely welcome. It's good to try to see what people might think about my situation.

    PS: I'M A GUY!

  5. i have not had a job in a year, have no family besides my wife and son, i only have 2 real friends. but its no reason for me to get down and out about. i have no money to ever do anyhting or go anywhere. life sucks, but u gotta make the best of it. find u a companion, somebody to hang out with and go do things together, there is no point to life, it is what u make it. u can be lonely and complain, or fill your life with things you enjoy, i have been to prison, got out and knocked my ol lady up, my son changed my life, before that i thought there was no point to life, but when he came along it all changed. i quit doing drugs (besides a lil 4:20) i got a job, and i straightend my shit up. i am 27 now, i was 22 when i got her prego, and although i havent had a job in a year, i have paid off my home, my car and my wifes car before i lost my job. i guess what im sayin, once again, is life is what u make it, there is no point, just enjoy life 4 what it is. and yeah people shit on you every chance they get (most of em anyway) but thats life. make yourself happy, worry about EVERYTHING ELSE LATER.

  6. Dear Friend
    I have similar situation like you .I Know and identify exactly where you coming form and how you feel about being alone and without a purpose. Sometime life in here is really cruel and lonely. One of the reasons is that our society has taught us to be alone and not to share things like love, companionship etc. Recently I have done some business with a Pakistani Guy and and he had cheated me every penny of it (About $150,000). I went to the law and they want me to spend $30,000 to sue him .And I don’t have the money to do that. Now I am without a Job, penniless at my age (I am lot older than you), without friend and alone. I wake up, find some works to do here and there, go to the GYM( I do hate going there cause people are so rude and unfriendly), I am overweight , don’t feel energetic, or passion to do anything .I used to go to Dancing Salsa, now I feel FAT and heavy to go there.

    I do read a lot and I have lot of experience about life, people, society, culture etc. Few things I know about life is that life has to have some purpose (even though I do not practice it myself).Life have to have some meaning and motion .Without definite goals and purpose, life starts to wither away. I am not sure what is your passion, what brings joy in your life you have to determine that and see why you are not actively seeking the passion or your life.

    Let me tell you what is the Purpose of LIFE …Growth…Growth in every direction of our life………..and change. We glorify GOD by continuously growing our strength, our creativity, our beauty. God has given US talent, each of US in a very unique Way and we must explore that talent to glorify him, make him beautiful, and express our gratitude to him.
    Please, do not get disheartened, you don’t have ANY FRIEND? …MAKE NEW Friends, Find a family who needs a man, or a son or a brother. One goal is fulfilled, find a new one, One purpose is solved ,find new one…

    Please get a Girlfriend , find a love in your life or love someone dearly , share your love, you have too much love in you , you need to share it with people.
    By the way, let me tell you some reality of life. Life is not fair, people are not fair, and people are very judgmental, please, accept some reality about life so you won’t get hurt and disappointed.
    Sorry you feel frustrated about things in life…..Unfortunately we live in a society where we are constantly preached one thing but in reality is the opposite. We are good while we are in Church, as soon as we leave church we become selfish, eccentric, greedy, materialistic monster. Everything is me and me and nothing for anybody.
    Wish our society will change, we cans see the beauty of human rather than dollar sign love them, care about them and concern about them

  7. Hey there, you know I think at some point we all find ourselves feeling the same things you are feeling, I came to chicago because my ex-fiancee lived here I lived in Puerto Rico, my family however lives in south America, and I don't have any real family here in the states, so after I come here things went really bad between us, and I started to lose my purpose and my north, it's hard to pick yourself up from people hurting you or from life just slapping you in the face with whatever it can muster to bring you down. But you see that's what it is, it's life messing with you making you feel worthless or unimportant, but that's not true, you see your family is not here with you but they care and love you, they can't hug you or kiss you but they tell you on the phone, and if you let it, you might even feel that love. I don't know you but I'm taking time out of my day to say " I care" even though I don't know you, and there are thousands of people just like your family and like me, that will listen and will be there if you need, you have to let them in though...have you let them in?

    Anyway I hope this helps or something- by the way I am still here in Chicago, I still live alone, and your days, sound just like mine. (except I go to the gym in the morning and at night I play video games)

  8. I think everyone gets to this point in their lives at one time or another. It happens to me every once and awhile, but I always thought it was PMS. The meaning to life is what you make it to be. I think you are worrying too much and trying to hard. Let life happen, and make the most of it. Go on a speed date, try ice skating, go on a singles cruise-- even if you are alone you can have fun. There are oodles of married folk out there that want to be alone for a day, and oodles of single people that want a relationship. We will always want what we don't have. However, I find when I am not looking for love, it rears its head, good luck and keep us all posted on how you are doing in a couple months.

  9. BTW I find blogging to be a good way to make friends, and it gives me some meaning, give it a try!

  10. Having moved to Texas over 10 years ago, I can say I've felt what you are going thru. Not fun....Anyway I can only offer what I did and it seemed to help me...I joined a SCUBA class (I's fun, but a little bit on the expensive side). I joined a church, or maybe I should say I started going to several until I found one that I felt at ease with. I joined the red cross. I read more. And I got a pet cat. It took me awhile but little by little I started making more friends that shared my hobbies and interests. I think its important that you find a balance in your life that you feel comfortable with. The difficult part for me was to gather enough courage to get off my ass and actually do stuff. By nature I am very shy and I don't make friends easily. About counting the number of friends you have with the fingers on one hand, I can say...It's not the quantity of friends but the quality of friends. For me, the purpose of life is to learn as much as I can.

  11. If you've got nothing you've got nothing to lose. If you're not happy
    with your life then you need to change and find what it is that you're
    missing. If you don't feel like your efforts are paying off then stop
    doing whatever is draining you. Good luck with all of the above
    though :)

  12. It's been said the essence of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting
    different results. If you're mind is driving you insane I'm afraid I have bad news for you.
    Your mind won.
    Your problem is that you're focus is solely on yourself. I could go into detail about how
    to get your focus off yourself but I'm sure you've been told a hundred times are are just
    too dense to listen so.... best of luck.... you'll need it.

  13. The driving force of life can be condensed into one single goal; the avoidance of pain.

    Assuming that boredom is pain, you can then see that you base every single decision you make on the basis of avoiding pain.

    I came to this conclusion finally after 50 years of life.

    So just consciously make the least painful choice and you will never go wrong.


Let it out...

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