Queen,
You know I never thought I would say this but I miss being in a committed relationship. Now when I am dating guys they only want one thing, and then they want me gone. I dreamed of the day I would be single and do not wish to have my ex back, just someone that wants a commitment, which I cannot find. The ones that say they want one do not sound sincere, and the ones that say they don't well, who wants them anyway! I get scared thinking that I will be alone forever but I do not want to settle for some loser. WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD MEN GONE?
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I have suggested a book for you here, I think it is probably the best one out there on putting up with being single. I think it is great for people that are in committed relationships too, because it focuses a lot on the individual. Just a thought, but hun don't stress, he will come a long, be happy with you and stop looking I have always found that to be the trick!
ReplyDeleteRelax, and concentrate on who you are for now, the relationship thing will take care of itself.
ReplyDeleteThat may sound like a weak bit of advice, but it really is true.
Several years ago, we hired a new employee at my firm and I got to know her as a friend. She was 32, had two girls, both cancer survivors, and had lost her husband to cancer in a smaller interlake community, so she moved to the City to try to get her feet under her. She had into a house with a friend that she had from the city, and before long it turned into a very bad relationship, she was trying to figure out how to move out and sort things out, but she was afraid of being single. She told me, I've been with someone for so long, I'm afraid to be alone, how can I raise my Girls?
Needless to say, this young mother had experienced much more trauma than most of us, and I was probably the least qualified person to answer that question, so I told her exactly that, but she really wanted my opinion, so I told her this:
You've demonstrated you have the strength to keep going in the face of adversity, and you've demonstrated to me an ability to learn new skills quickly in the workplace. Why not concentrate on your career, your daughters, and yourself for a while instead of looking for a new guy, and just see what happens?
Flash forward 3 years, she's been promoted, took a transfer back to one of our Ontario offices to be closer to her family, and now has a house, the girls are well adjusted and doing great in school, and she's generally much happier about herself, and now she dates guys and gets to know them well, and realizes she does not need the man to take care of her, she's fine on her own. She says she can wait now until she finds the right guy, a nice and decent guy, because she's got the confidence to do that.
As for myself, my wife and I have a great family friend, and although we miss having her come to visit with the girls often, we chat on the phone all the time, and this wonderful gal is living a full and happy life, a confidence and joy she's passing on to her daughters.