I am in love with a man that has a child that he doesn't see. He is a wonderful guy in every way. He states he doesn't see the child because the mother just wanted a baby and does not want anything to do with him now. She won't even accept money because she does not want him to have visitation rights. He has done nothing in court or otherwise to stand up for his rights. They broke up because she was very controlling. He has seen the child once but that is all. He is from the Philippines and maybe the mother thinks he might take off with the boy. He is now 18 months old. What do you think? I say how can he love me when he does this to his own child. Why wouldn't he fight to see his son? If he won't fight for his son, what makes me think he will fight for me? What kind of father will he be to my child one day? I do not know if he is worth pursuing anymore, but I love him! Any advice you have would be appreciated.
Why do you feel this man is incapable of loving you just because he has not sought out for his son? Did it ever occur to you that maybe he just isn't ready to be a father or maybe that he doesn't want to deal with a pyscho bitch.... Before you throw in the towel and make this man you say you love so much feel unworthy or less than a man... give him the benefit of the doubt....
ReplyDeleteWhy should you be pressing the issue anyway, is the child yours... NO... then let him handle his affairs and you handle yours....
When he is ready to take a stand and be a father then he will do it when hes ready not because you said so.. if your not careful he may just leave you for being too controlling too..
Good luck to you!
Sounds to me that your just looking for an excuse to break up with the guy. I know you say you love him and he's a great guy but people have problems. You love a person for everything they are including their problems. Sounds to me though it is you that has the problem. Maybe some kind of trust issues or something along those lines. Fact is if your questioning your love now you will probably question it forever and either he is the wrong guy for you or you have your own issues to work out before you even begin to try and figure out a relationship.
ReplyDeleteI would see that as a red flag, but I would not rush out of the relationship quite yet. Poke for information, like how he feels about kids, and if he will ever see his son. If you don't like the answers then get out, there's no point in staying if you want kids with him and he does not, unless your willing to sacrifice what you want in life, which is a whole other rant :)
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