I love my family. They have their ups and downs but they are great people. I owe my dad my life. He is the best man in this world in my eyes, but he is getting older now and his house is showing it. My husband hates going to see my family. I mean he does not mind the actual family so much but does not like the small town they live in, and he is a clean freak so my dads place horrifies him. It is always a fight to go and see my family, but he grins and bears it sometimes so I am happy when I finally do get to see them. I just wish I could see him more, and if I could maybe I could help out more around the house so that my husband feels more comfortable. The problem is that he does not even really speak to his family, because of past problems, but don't make me suffer because of your family issues. I just wish he would see how much my family means to me, and understand that my dads better years are over, and I need to see him more now then ever. I recently went to see him and his hands and arms are shaking, and I do not know why. I am worried that if I don't get to see him more and I lose him I will resent my husband over it. I don't know if I would ever get over something like that!
Resent your husband? why? Just because he does not go w/u to visit your father? I was in a similar situation where my husband was raised to visit his parents every month... it wasn't like they lived a state away.. they were 45 min. away.. He made me and the kids go because we had to shown up as a family... Even when my girls were teens and had finals to study for they had to take their books and study there... I do not think anyone should be made to go visit if they don't want to. Did u ever think that maybe your hubby might resent being made to go? U have to find a happy medium.. alternate each visit where he goes or doesn't go... Everyone has to compromise...
ReplyDeleteYes it depends on how many times you go to see him, but I see where you are coming from. If family is not a priority for him and it is to you then you should be able to go whenever you want. I mean you do not have to go together, just go by yourself!
ReplyDeleteHey, Queen maybe she doesn't want to go w/out him because of the questions that would arise... I have a feeling that is what my husband was probably thinking... Ironically, my fil knew the kids and I weren't too thrilled at the visits... Our visits would last 8 whole hours and its not like we didn't talk to them on the phone ...And I know my mil was carrying on the tradition from her family...
ReplyDeleteSweetheart, may I give you a little advice? Stick to your feelings. If you want to see more of your dad then you should, no matter what anyone says. He is your dad and you love him. He is the man who was there for you when you were a child, the man who would have walked to the moon for you. To me personally, my dad was the most important man/person in my life. And nine years after his passing, he still is, alongside my husband of course but in a different way.
ReplyDeleteFamily is paramount, without parents we wouldn't be here in the first place.
Take care, CJ xx
I wrote this rant, and I know it sounds petty so I need to clear a few things up. I only get to see my dad a couple times a year because he lives five hours away and my husband hates going there. I cannot go alone because my husband is jealous and thinks I will rekindle my relationship with my ex, despite me telling him I would not, and and I have never cheated on him or given him a reason to think that. So you see it is a lose-lose situation, and hence the resentment, however, I do appreciate your feedback, thank you
ReplyDeleteHey, Annonymous: your hubby is jealous? give me a break... that is not a logical excuse... He just doesn't want to go... You should be able to see your Dad whenever... I misunderstood and thought that you wanted your husband to go w/you... this is totally a different thing... Your hubby has trust issues as well as being childish... Mind u, he also wants to control you...
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