Friday, July 2, 2010

Money: The Root Of All Evil

Queen,

My husband is horrible with money.  I swear the effin guy thinks it grows on trees.  It never fails around rent time we are at each others throats.  He always overspends and then does not have any money so I am forced to take it off of my credit card.  I always have my share, but he never has his.  Our roommate always gives him his portion of the rent, and instead of giving it to me, he goes and spends one or two hundred dollars of it.  Can you effin believe that.  So a couple of days ago when I see our roommate give him the money I say... you should give that to me or you are going to spend it.  He completely ignores me and then puts it in his drawer.  So yesterday when its time to put the rent in, he says I am short $130 on my portion, and I spent $100 out of the roomies.  Oh isn't that effin nice of you.  So now I have to take $230 off of my credit card.  Which I just had to get a loan to pay it down as I was paying like $300 a month just in interest.  Well I went ballistic.  I told him this was the last time, and not to ever ask me where my money goes because one whole check goes to bills and the other goes to rent.  So then I have no money to spend on me.  I can barely afford the coffee, gas, and parking for work.  He always asks me, where did all your money go, and I feel like punching him repeatedly screaming rent and bills you effin joke of a man.

I do not know what to do.  We constantly fight about money and I am pinching and saving to try and afford a house, some sort of vacation, clothes...  I have nothing for me, and meanwhile where does his money go?  Well who the eff knows!  I would love to separate our finances, but he says there is no point in being together if we separate our money??? What a joke that is, he just would never be able to pay his own bills and rent-- that is the problem.  He always turns it around on me and says to leave and go live on my own, sad thing is that I would be better off financially if I did!

3 comments:

  1. My gf had the same issue.. Solution: separate checking accounts and they split the bills... Have some ultilities in your name and his.. SEPARATE all your costs.. U r brave to stick it out this long... Frankly if it were me and if no kids are involved,I would have gotten him to some sort of financial help group and if that didn't work... then I would of been gone...Is the stress worth it?

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  2. @Queen: Money is not the root of all evil... Its only evil depending on who is controlling or not controlling it... Money just brings out the realness of people... just like envy, greed... shows the UGLY,TRUE side...As they say: its not the gun that kills, its the one pulling the trigger...

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  3. So true Chrissy, it sounds like he is using you, and if he does not get his way then he threatens you and tells you to leave. Some people are better with money then others, and your husband is not. However, it is like a slap in the face when one person works so hard at saving and the other spends for the both of you. You may want to consider leaving if you feel you have exhausted all other solutions. Its strange he does not want to split the finances, if it means saving your marriage!

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