Queen,
Ok, so I'm not in a relationship but have a stupid guy situation (aren't they all??)
So this guy in an acting class I take downtown and he has been pursuing me unbeknownst to me because I'm blind to those sorts of things, but my friends noticed. Finally he starts Facebook chatting me and eventually asks for my number and calls me. During our phone conversation he mentions how he doesn't want to be in a relationship and he was casually seeing this girl but he's over it. (First of all WHY is he telling me this?)
After an hour of talking he and I start talking about how we should hang out and he says, "How about right now??" Now, I'm not looking to get a relationship with this guy, I just want a summer fling. So I say sure.
He lives 2 hours away SO HE DRIVES 2 HOURS at 11pm to come see me. Dedication, right??
So one thing leads to another and he spends the night and it. was. AWESOME. Seriously, good. In the morning he urges me to be late to work, etc.
I was like alllllllllll riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SUMMER FLING!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOO!
So...now...he hasn't mentioned it happening again and since I see him every week in this class how does this work?! I've never been a fling sort of person so ALL advice is much needed. (Keep in mind this happened 2 days ago) Is it bad he hasn't texted me at all? How do I get a repeat performance without seeming needy??? How do I know if he even wants one?!
THANKKKKKKKKK YOU for any advice you can offer!
Well, I think that he has not called you because he does not want you to think that he wants a relationship. If a summer fling is all you are looking for -I would be honest about that with him and ask if he wants to hook up again. You both sound like you only want a summer fling, but are willing to go to relationship lengths to get one. I think either you both are wanting more, but have not come to terms with that with yourselves yet. I mean driving two hours that late to get some seems like a lot of work for someone who does not want a relationship!
ReplyDeleteHowever, I am no expert on summer flings, I would not know where to start and would be too afraid of getting hurt or finding out he is the scum of the earth.
This is a difficult situation.
ADVICE?
Do you guys not talk in the class at all anymore? eww awkward
ReplyDeleteas long as both of you are down for the just a summer fling thing, i think it's all good- just remember that's all you wanted it to be! :)
ReplyDelete@leslie--- i haven't seen him yet for class. This happened on Sunday night and our next class is this upcoming Sunday. I'm praying it won't be awkward!!
ReplyDelete@Kerri--- I think so too! But now how do I find out if he even wants a summer fling?!
A friend of mine went through something very similar, only she wanted a relationship...and she was the one who drove nearly 5 hours to be with him. She spent a weekend with him, but nothing serious happened. He invited her down for a second weekend, where the big stuff happened...and she never heard from him again. She called him and he pretty much blew her off. Within weeks, he was dating someone else, who he eventually married.
ReplyDeleteHe wanted a fling, but my friend did not, so it was tough for her. I agree with Queen, driving 2 hours for nothing more than a booty call seems a little odd. Maybe his definition of fling equals one night?? That seems to be the sticking point.
It's only been two days, right? That's an eternity in girl time, but in guy time it may still be too soon. Frankly, I'd let him come to you. If he doesn't, maybe he's not even worth the fling.
@Frisky --- thanks for the advice. I think you're right. Maybe i should just let him mosey on over.
ReplyDelete@Queen and others--- It is a bit weird that he drove that far but still, i am afraid to be rejected if i ask if this will continue..
Big red flag: when he mentions he doesn't want to be in a relationship... that should of told u right there it was a booty call.
ReplyDelete@Kalei-- I knew it was a booty call! I wanted it to be one too! hahahah. I just want more of them!
ReplyDeletei have a similar problem, except mine doesn't live 2 hours away. he asks me to go round, yes he asks me to go round for fun and thats all i want then makes an excuse for me not to go!! now if anyone can work that one out pleas let me know.
ReplyDelete@Princess thanks for stopping by-he wants more and is in denial and he does not want to take advantage of you, he has a conscious oh my god a man with a conscious-marry him! either that or he is super controlling.
ReplyDelete@anon-don't be scared of rejection for a summer fling- make it super casual- just text him tomorrow and say had a great time maybe we could meet up for part two after class on Sunday. If he does not respond forget about him- or wait until Sunday and see what happens.
ReplyDelete@Queen---Thanks, lady! :) I appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI say move on to the next one if he hasn't texted or called you again. Maybe he's just not that into you, and even if you want casual, don't you want casual with someone who's so hot for you he can't wait to have you again!? Maybe it's just me, but that's what I think.
ReplyDeleteIf this turns into a summer fling, isn't he going to want you to come down his every so often?
ReplyDeleteI think you should ditch this guy and get someone closer to home... After all, he said he didn't want a relationship so it's not like you owe him.
Hey Hi and Thanks for coming by my blog, THANK YOU even more for the triple WTF?! What makes matters worse (making me want to comment on your fling) is that he is a class A weirdo, reason Lillies mother was divorcing him was because someone told her he had posted pics of his private parts on the internet, in front of a mirror, so his whole body and face could be seen... Well, he is trying to be some sort of jock at 62, and some poor twenty something showed up here the other night. She marched up to the porch where my son was sitting and said "Hi, I'm -----!" My son was all, like "Yuh, and your point is...?" (He is really cute BTW, and since he got dumped by a slimey foreigner looking for a green card two years ago he is still gun-shy. She continued, "Ah, we met on the internet?" My kid says, "Oh, you're looking for the old fart...." EEEEK.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm trying to say is be careful of the internet thing, but since you had already met him, and he drove that far, do you think he could be a slimey 'attached' guy?
Hugs from still WTF-ING!!!! (NOT getting over this....)
@Princess - He sounds like he wants a bit more than just a fling, or he holds you to a different standard than he holds himself.
ReplyDelete@Anon - Just call him or text him and ask him over. If this really is just a summer fling to you, then you shouldn't really fret that much if he says no. However, do make sure you're always using protection, since there isn't any exclusivity on either side of the flinging, it sounds like.
That is weird to drive that far if there is no relationship. And he sounds fishy to me if he mentions "not" having a girlfriend. It sounds like he either got regretted what he did because he has a g/f or he realizes that it is far to drive for a booty call. If you really want to know what's going on, then ask him! Because you'll drive yourself nuts until you know...that way you can move on or figure out how the long distance thing will work.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Shoot, I'll hang out with ya!! We'd have a blast! Where the heck are you located anyways?
ReplyDeleteAny guy that comes over at 11pm at night (even if he did drive 2 hours) is looking for a booty call. Stating that he doesn't want to be in a relationship is his way of easing any guilt he might feel for truly only wanting a 'donut for the the night' (ie. hole to stick his willy in)... If you are honestly looking for a no-strings-attached situation then I'm sure there are plenty of willing guys that live closer to you AND who aren't in your acting class to have a good time with. Otherwise you are going to end up in a situation like Kristin & Brody from the Hills. Decide what you really want and go take charge sista! - The Ranter's Box
ReplyDeletewww.rantersbox.blogspot.com
@ steveg , read my latest post on my blog its about him and then decide if you think he wants more, which i dont!!
ReplyDelete@ranters box i agree you about the kristin/brody situation, you need to make it clear what you want and go get it!! def
no, don't take those late night calls. you're too good for that...
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, can you say booty call?? I bet he's feeling like a major pimp right now! But he did say that he doesn't want to be in a relationship so I'd leave it as is. It's a game and you just have to decide if you want to play along!
ReplyDeleteOMG 22 comments that IS A RECORD-you all rock- anon is thanking you I am sure.
ReplyDeleteok so I met this guy on a website. we both said we dont want a relationship yet. start as friends and see where it goes... we met, it was awsome...fun, messed around, drinks, ate, watched the sun rise. he called , we texted, we met again after a week and same thing. about two weeks go by he calls , texts, i am not feel well, mind you he lives 2 hrs away. He drives to my house, spends night and day. just hold me like bear all day, nothing else, chatted. we chat now in text, talk ever now and then, but he said today i am a casual fling that he has fun with, he wishes he could f.. me , loves my ass,said we kiss great together but we are not compatible body wise, but wants to continue to see me. HELP....I am dumb or what????He has awsome blkue eyes that he stares at with me with when i see him.
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