Thursday, July 22, 2010
Who's Your Daddy?
Okay so my man is great and all, but sometimes he acts more like my dad more then my man friend ( I hate calling him my husband, because 'if he liked it then he should of put a ring on it'). I would say almost every second day I will get home from work and he will say 'can I show you something'. I immediately know he is going to tell me I did something wrong or lecture me about one thing or another. Yesterday, it was 'can I show you something', and I am all like oh effin no, here it goes. "I just wanted to show you how I like the dishwasher to be packed". Are you effin serious. You want to show me-the WOMAN how to pack the effin dishwasher. So he goes on to tell me that I have been putting the bowls in the wrong spot, and the cutlery has to be pointing up and blah blah effin blah!
The day before it was-'hey can I show you something so that you can remember to not do it anymore" and what I wanted to say was sure, and secretly make him blind in his sleep so he could not effin SHOW me anything again, but instead I said sure hunny buns. "Well you know when you make coffee in the morning, well the spoon collects the coffee and it stains it, even after you put it in the dishwasher, so you could rinse the spoon before it goes in, and that way there will be no stain".
So WTF. Are you my dad or my man? Since when did men get to tell women about cleaning. I am not a clean freak, but I have never had a problem with the dishwasher, the spoons, nothing. I just do not get it, I already have a dad, I do not need another one. It is always something, here is a few others, just to give you an idea of what I go through after a long hard day at the office.
"Whats for dinner?" - Well you have been home all effin day, why don't you tell me daddy!
"Dont dry my shirts"-Okay well don't put my black sweaters in with white towels, until you learn this I will continue to dry your effin shirts!
"I want you to dust everything, so that if I run my finger across a surface there is nothing on it"-Okay why don't we dip your head in acid so you lose all your hair and we can call you Mr effin Clean.
"You see this here, that is gross- no one ever cleans it"-Well my friends don't have dicks so I am sure they are not spraying piss on the walls!
I will tell you more later I am sure, this rant will never end, unless he goes blind... hmmm I may be on to something here!