Follow Up: My Boyfriends Best Friend

So if you remember I got a rant from a gal, as she fooled around with her mans best friend while they were broken up... he had a drinking problem.... well if you cannot remember click on the link and read it again...

Here is how she is doing now...

Queen,

Thank you and your followers for all of your advice.  I went with the honesty is the best policy option, and I am sad to say that we ended our relationship roughly a month after I told him.  However, the reason why I wanted to email you and let you know what happened is that it turns out everything worked out fine.  Stevie's advice was spot on-I was in a bad situation, and neither of those guys were what I really wanted.  Now I have found someone that I could truly be happy with, and we are doing great-no drinking and we do not fight.

I was scared to lose my ex since we had been together for so long, but really that was the best thing for me-perhaps that is why I chose to sleep with his friend in the first place-subconsciously I knew we would never last after that!

If it was not for you and your followers I may still be stuck, trying to lie my way through a meaningless relationship, and miss out on meeting my new man.  My ex is drinking again, and I worry that it is because of me, but I will never look back-thank-you so much for all of your help!

Yours Truly,

"Couldn't be happier"

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 14

Hey Y'all-I cannot freakin believe that looking back I have not put up one single song by this group, so I MUST share this one with you asap. 

Now I know this group has some problems with some Americans, but you need to stop blaming this group-music is a form of free speech, and you know what-in the end these ladies were right-they stood by their beliefs even if it meant their own demise.  Not only does there music protest some very important issues-but it will truly touch your soul.  Whether it is the banjo, thefiddle or that amazing voice-this song will bring a tear to your eye... and hopefully put things in perspective for you, through good times or bad. 

What I hope you all leave with from this song-is never back down from something you believe in-and if you contemplate doing that... listen to these gals-and they will show you the way!

Abortion-From A Man's Perspective

All, 
Please forgive me if this upsets anyone, that was not my intention-this guy has obviously put a lot of thought into this rant, and so I want to give him the opportunity to post it-as I do not see many men with the ability to show their emotions like this.

Queen,

First let me start by saying I am male, that being said. I am at a complete loss as to why you see all these men taking a stand on abortion. The way I look at it is, I do not want anyone man or woman telling me what I can or cannot do with my body. Our bodies are the only thing that's really ours, and we all should be allowed to choose how we take care of it, or abuse it, or end it.

I do not want a bunch of women getting together and coming up with rules on how I take care of my body, and telling me that it doesn't matter what I feel is best for me they know whats best for me.

People talk about a fathers rights, how men should be able to stop a woman from aborting a child that they conceived. Ok bullshit, if the woman didn't tell the man he would have never ever known.

Lots of people say that because we have legalized abortion in this great country it has destroyed American families, its an easy way out of a serious life changing event. I disagree, women have been second class citizens for long enough, if a woman wants to go out and have sex with lots of guys she should be able to without having to think twice what other men are going to think of her. We men do it and we don't have the added responsibility of possibly getting pregnant. Most all of us have been there at least once being head over heels for some girl, or some girl is head over heels for some guy. You talk all the time cant wait to see each other and then after you have sex with them you realize you don't really like them that much. I know the religious of those out there are gonna get all up in arms and say something like you should know that person your going to have sex with spiritually and love them on a spiritual level then sex is not important the extremists are going to say that sex was never meant to be for fun its only done to procreate.

All horseshit, just a bunch of propaganda. I think those lies were all started by men to cover up the fact that they were lazy and selfish in bed. Then of course women got smart and used those lies against men. Saying things like we just did it last week ( but what they are really saying is; your a worthless screw I get more satisfaction from a shower head, or Sancho the gardener.)

Who wins in this battle of the sexes, Those girls and guys that actually do respect each other as equals in all aspects of the relationship, and if they are smart they will tell the same tired ol stories that everyone complains about. He doesn't treat me like he used to, or she wont go down on me anymore. She is always out shopping, he always has his nose in the TV blah blah blah. Ladies if you have a good man at home that's treating you right don't tell your girlfriends and fella's if you have a lady at the house that is a complete tramp in the bedroom but a straight laced lady out of it, don't tell your buddies. If you try to tell everyone how green it is on your side of the fence ladies and gents your setting yourselves up for a whole lotta peoples trying to jump the fence into your yard.

I digress, My point is, as men we have no right to choose whats best for a woman. I saw this on a bumper sticker that I thought said it all pretty good. "If you cant trust me with a choice how can you trust me with a baby". I think we have all seen it at least once if your over 30 that is (Cause lets face it when your in your twenties you really don't pay to much attention to other people's kids), where you see people that have kids, and you think those poor kids. You have to have a license to own a dog, but anyone can have kids how screwed up is that.

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 13

Hey Y'all,

Still really effin busy over here, but never to busy for a little music therapy.  Here is song 13 of the Relationship Rant Playlist, let me know what you think!

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 12

Well my awesome followers, readers, searchers, and who ever else is visiting my site this fine Monday morning.... You are just in time for our next addition to the Relationship Rant Playlist.  A series of songs that will get anyone through a tough day, a harsh break up or anything else in between.

This is my second Alanis song-but if anyone knows a break up-its her.  Her music is empowering yet emotional and even heart breaking at times... I think that is why I like it so much.

I hope you all had a great weekend, and mine was filled with some much needed relaxation, and some mouse hunting, which I will get into later. 

Been having a look to see what you all have been up to in the last couple weeks.... you guys have such exciting lives!

MUAH
-Queen

Follow Up to "Why Am I Here?"

Well my wonderfuls, as promised here is the very first follow up to a rant that I got back in June called Why Am I Here.... thanks to all of your wonderful advice here is how her life has changed....

Queen, 
First let me say thank you, for giving me the opportunity to anonymously tell you my problems, with little judgement.  Thank you to your commenter's, as they changed the way I thought, and got me out of what could have been a downwards spiral.

You will be happy to know that since June, my life has been a 360 degree turn around.  I met the best man in the world, and we are engaged.  He has connected me with family, friends and we have a dog. 

I could not be happier, and laugh when I think back to how unhappy I was.  I gave up looking for love and then it stumbled upon me when I least expected it-in other words you were right.

Life is what we make of it, and in the end we can only judge our own happiness and change our lives, but part of me feels like I have your blog to thank.  I know I am happy, and that you all helped me, so I am forever thankful for this.

It does not matter how many people we have around us, what mattes is the quality of those relationships.  I know this now, and even though I may revisit those times every once and awhile, they have made me stronger, and gave me a yearning to grow up.

Thank-you again, and take care.

Help Save My Boring Relationship

Queen and Followers,
My boyfriend and I are about to celebrate our 2 yr anniversary, when last night he tells me that he's not happy. That maybe we need our space, so we can give ourselves room to grow. He said that he feels like he isn't able to grow and expand and express himself freely. He was talking about having no motivation and wondering why he's even living right now. He said he should have motivation to make a better life for us, but "Look at us, our home life, it's boring. This isn't what I want." It felt like one dagger to the heart over and over and over again as he revealed what had been going on inside of him. This isn't the first time that he has mentioned us getting separate apartments and that there's no excitement and we're not living life to the fullest. BUT in my defense he doesn't even like to leave the house. I try to find things for us to do & sometimes he's up for it and sometimes not. I try to make life entertaining, but anymore he just wants to stay home. It seems to happen when a series of events occurs.....too much stress at work (which has been pretty constant lately), listening to too much Alex Jones (this guy makes me want to end my life) & not a lot of sex going on in the bedroom. As the saying goes....when the sex is great, it is only 10% of the relationship, but when it's not great, it is 90% of the relationship. I have a low libido and I've tried things to rev it up, but I'm not having much luck. I've even gone off my birth control pills to try to bring it back. I had a tubal so no fear of pregnancy, thank God considering where I'm sitting this morning.

I don't know what to do at this point. I feel so confused. He tells me that he believes I'm the one and that we're going to be together, then he tells me he needs his space and we don't have enough in common, then I'm the one, then he needs his space. This morning when I brought this up he says "Well don't you want me to say nice things? And if I'm not consistent, don't you think that means you better have a Plan B if things aren't going to work?"

Mon - Fri we have approximately 4 hrs together (give or take) I come home, do dishes, get dinner ready, we eat, we try to relax, we shower & we go to bed. Yes, this is boring, but what are we supposed to do EXCITING in this short span of time. He says we're not making the most of it. What could we be doing differently? He says we don't talk, but he always has Alex Jones on and I know that's how he relaxes, so why would I try to take this away from him or interrupt it?? He says we don't have the same interests, but lately his interest have been Alex Jones (again this guy scares me out of my mind) and his work (our jobs are completely unrelated).

Our lease is up in May so it sounds like he's willing to give us this time to figure things out. I want us to stay together. I just don't know what to do right now. A huge part of me wants to believe that it's just his job really stressing him out. I mean this job is literally sucking the life out of him. It's all he thinks about and all he does. Of course, come the weekend he doesn't want to do anything...he's drained, but I think he fails to see that then it turns around on me, that we're not exciting.

Happy Couples.........Please......how do you make life exciting??? Help me save my relationship!!!

Relationship Rant-PLAYLIST Song 11

Wowee, it is Monday, and Halloween is quickly approaching. I decorated the house over the weekend so hopfully the kiddies are taking notes on who is likely going to give them the most candy... 

I hope you all had a amazing weekend, and that this Monday is not too busy for you to find a few minutes to enjoy song 11 of my Relationship Rant playlist.

I just discovered this gal, but she has been around for awhile.  If you are a Grey's Anatomy fan then you have likely heard some of her stuff.  I found her by fate- is what I believe, because she is great, and now I get to share my favorite song of hers with all of my wonderful visotors.

Her name is Brandi Carlile, and she is a triple threat in that she can sing, play a mean guitar and the piano as well.  I am sure she does other stuff well too, but those three I know for sure.

She reminds me of a few different artists all rolled into one, and some of my favorites, which is probably why I like her so much.  She reminds me of Pink, Janis Joplin, Johnny Cash, and Adele.  I do not know how to describe her music, I would have to say folk rock soul?  Perhaps I created a new category of music. 

So what do you think about Brandi Carlile?  What would you classify her music as?  I would love some feedback from y'all on this hidden gem...

Relationship Poll

Well I just got five new followers overnight!  That is amazing since I have not had a new follower in a while and bam I got five... SO in order to welcome my new peeps, I think I will do a poll today so we can all get to know each other a little better...

So all my amazing followers.... what is the most romantic thing that has been done for you, or you have done for someone else?

I will go first, however, the men I have had in my life have been on the less romantic side... but a couple of years ago, 'the man' gave me a love letter and it was very special, I still have it, and before that he made me a romantic cd which was also up there on my list.

... The most romantic thing I have ever done... well I would say it is when I wrote 'the man' a poem called 'message in a bottle' and I put it in a bottle for him to find... kinda corny I know...

Now it is your turn...

PS-Keep it up with the awesome comments-you guys rock- and the advice is greatly appreciated... Soon I will post some of the ranters thank-yous and follow ups.... MUAH!

Begging To Be Caught

Queen,
I am single and dating a man who is living with another woman. I met him while traveling for work at a client site. In a nutshell, that's the background-he is cheating.

Before he left for work the other day, he asked me if he can have my underwear??? I mean, I thought that was a weird request. But I was like, “um, okay”. He said he misses me so much that he wanted something of mine. I suggested taking my fuckin’ luggage too, that way I don’t have to pack lol. He insisted he only wanted my (used) underwear and thanked me for the offer of my luggage.

Anyway, I guess he brought my underwear home and he said he tucked it in the back of his closet – where it has resided for …a long time. About a month ago, his girlfriend asked him to pick up the dry cleaning. He said it was a weird request because he has only picked it up once before during their entire relationship. He gets to the dry cleaners and at the very front of all the dry cleaning was that pair of underwear. He thought he was so slick by just throwing it out – I told him she is sending you a message…The message being SHE KNOWS YOU ARE FUCKING AROUND!!!

Don’t you think his girlfriend knows and was sending him a message? Bringing home my underwear? He is begging to be caught!!

Halloween Poll & Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 10

I hope you all had a greaaattt weekend, and that this Monday is treating you well. 

I had a good weekend, and got my yard looking acceptable for all the trick or treators that will be trotting up and down my street at the end of the month.

FYI-I love Halloween, perhaps because I love seeing all the kiddies dressed up and begging for the sweet stuff!  Last year I got a group of 6 princesses all of which were between the ages of 1-4, soooo cute.  This year I am going to try and dress my puppies up, put the scary music on and try to rope a few more in.

When I lived on a very busy street I would not get any kids, so I would go as far as standing outside my gate putting a trail of candy leading to my house, even that did not work, but maybe they thought my tactic was strange enough to warrant a potential poisoning??? 

Anyways, I love Halloween, and I think it is because I never got a chance to do it when I was young, well not until I was about 9, but by then the damage was done.  So I do my best to get everyone in the spirit, and I give anyone who comes to my door at least ten candies each... yes I spoil them in a hope that they will remember me and come back year after year, and tell all of their friends about my generosity.

Just curious though... what do you all do to attract or distract children from your house on Halloween???

Anywho, it is playlist time y'all, and I have a special song for you, that hopefully many of you have never heard.  If you have never heard of Sia, then check her stuff out, it is fabulous-the whole CD, and her newest one too.

To My Boob Job Girlfriend

To My Beautiful Mexican Girlfriend:

I hope you enjoy the new boobs, that I helped to buy for you.
I didn't know you were going to leave, especially after all I did for you.
especially after supporting you for 2 years, helping you get legal, and even helping your mom get legal.

But this is not about posting bail for your brother, loaning your niece 1400 bucks or moving your apartment 3 times.  This is about you, about us. I miss you, and I do not even know why after you left me.  Did you find something better?  Were you with someone else while we were together?  I thought we were happy, I did everything to make you happy.


I think you were just using me, I do not even know if you ever cared about me or if it was all just lies.

I have been drinking every day, I'm so depressed. Depressed knowing how much I loved you.  I have so many questions, and you have not given me any answers.  Will I ever see you again?

It's been 6 months now, I cannot snap out of it. I do not know if I ever will?

But of course you could care less.

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 9

My lovelies... I am flabbergasted at your AMAZING comments on the last few posts, some longer and more insightful then the darn post itself!!!
But hey that's why I love ya!

I hope you guys had a fabulous weekend, I did because it was long, and I got to see my family.  It was so hard to say goodbye, but boy did it feel good to come home too.

I am one day behind schedule so I am going to do the Relationship Rant Playlist, and catch up on the rants for tomorrow.

This song is dear to my heart.   I love it and CANNOT wait until Adele comes out with a new CD, which I hear she is working on.

She took the world and our hearts by storm, so without further ado, here is Hometown Glory, which fits in perfectly with my long weekend, where I went to my hometown, a small little village in the interior of British Columbia with roughly 800 people living there, and not a single stop light.

It is where I first fell in love, and a piece of me will always live there.... in the wind, my highschool halls and those back country roads...

MUAH!

Another Blog Award-Yipee Cay Eh

Yeehaw folks-I got another blog award that is amazing, and it is from the Frisky Virgin, who if you have not visited, then you better get to it cause she is ultra great!

So thank-you Frisky-you have fabulous taste in blogs (wink, wink).  MUAH!

So now I gotta spread the love, and pass this along to 10 lovely blogs, and I am going to try and pass this along to some newer ones that I am just getting acquainted with, and ones that I have not given an award to, so here we go, check these out because I have a feeling they are going to make it big if they have not already...

1.  Carrie Bradshaw is Full of Shit-  This gal had me when she told me what happened in Vegas-which is against the law or something, so I guess I am on the run with her-how exciting is that!

2. The Anonymous Perils of A Single Southern Woman-a blog of randomness, and I love it-she is funny, and explicit, which I love-and she regularly comments on my blog-which is a bonus!

3. Losing On Purpose Perhaps it is because I am the same age, but I can really relate to this gal and her blog, she is up, then down, just like me.

4.  Long Distance Love Affair- I do not know if I just love hearing rants, or about people relationships ups and downs, but this blog is great for this. 

5. Living Like Laree- wanna hear what like is like in New Zealand-Laree can tell you!

6.  Intimate Memoirs of A Modern Girl- Again, I love hearing about this gals love for men and her bar nights out.

7. DC Dating Divas - Anyone noticing a trend here.... another dating blog-maybe I have a problem?

8.  Dating Is Weird- You have to read this one-especially the Manwich-sad but funny all at the same time.

9.  Awkward Sex & The City- This gal is too funny but in a bitchy kind of way.

10.  Aurajoon-  Now I already told you about this one, but you have to see her summer surprise-watch the movie-it will make you cry-fabulous!