Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 15

Yo yo yo!
Wow, some crazy rants here eh?  That last one made me want to jump through my computer and give that poor girl a hug and a ride to the airport-no one deserves to be treated like that!  I find it amazing what a  man can do to a woman.  The way they can make us feel, and make us think that we are the most wonderful people on the face of the earth one day... and the worst people the next.  I hate to say this, but they almost brainwash us, and we flutter on their every word.  I hate this, but I hate to say that I do it too.  I am sure I am not the only one either, speak up ladies, don't be shy.

This next song goes out to all of these women.  It took me some time to figure out what Florence is trying to convey with this song, but lets say it hit me like a bullet in the head.  Perhaps that's what she wanted... us to make us our own meaning for the song.  Well this is what I came up with... us women need to take care of ourselves, as happiness can change in a matter of minutes.  We work like dogs to try and please the men in our lives, and for what?  It does not really get us anywhere in the long run, usually we end up with broken hearts, or worse-broken jaws.

So today I say fuck men, fuck them and the horse they rode in on.  We don't need them for anything.  I change my own oil-and I take out my own trash.  If I really need something handy done... I know that there are good people lurking around that will do things for me because they are good people, not because I did the dishes so they have to fix my car, or better yet because we are sleeping together.  We either pay for their help in one way or another, they are not genuine feelings of gratuity.

So today I mark November 29th as FUCK MEN DAY.  I am sure us women deserve our own fuck women day, but we will leave that to some sour man to create.

Enjoy this song everyone-I just found her even though she has been around for awhile, and I hope you love her as much as I do!
MUAH

 -Queen

Abortion-From A Man's Perspective

All, 
Please forgive me if this upsets anyone, that was not my intention-this guy has obviously put a lot of thought into this rant, and so I want to give him the opportunity to post it-as I do not see many men with the ability to show their emotions like this.

Queen,

First let me start by saying I am male, that being said. I am at a complete loss as to why you see all these men taking a stand on abortion. The way I look at it is, I do not want anyone man or woman telling me what I can or cannot do with my body. Our bodies are the only thing that's really ours, and we all should be allowed to choose how we take care of it, or abuse it, or end it.

I do not want a bunch of women getting together and coming up with rules on how I take care of my body, and telling me that it doesn't matter what I feel is best for me they know whats best for me.

People talk about a fathers rights, how men should be able to stop a woman from aborting a child that they conceived. Ok bullshit, if the woman didn't tell the man he would have never ever known.

Lots of people say that because we have legalized abortion in this great country it has destroyed American families, its an easy way out of a serious life changing event. I disagree, women have been second class citizens for long enough, if a woman wants to go out and have sex with lots of guys she should be able to without having to think twice what other men are going to think of her. We men do it and we don't have the added responsibility of possibly getting pregnant. Most all of us have been there at least once being head over heels for some girl, or some girl is head over heels for some guy. You talk all the time cant wait to see each other and then after you have sex with them you realize you don't really like them that much. I know the religious of those out there are gonna get all up in arms and say something like you should know that person your going to have sex with spiritually and love them on a spiritual level then sex is not important the extremists are going to say that sex was never meant to be for fun its only done to procreate.

All horseshit, just a bunch of propaganda. I think those lies were all started by men to cover up the fact that they were lazy and selfish in bed. Then of course women got smart and used those lies against men. Saying things like we just did it last week ( but what they are really saying is; your a worthless screw I get more satisfaction from a shower head, or Sancho the gardener.)

Who wins in this battle of the sexes, Those girls and guys that actually do respect each other as equals in all aspects of the relationship, and if they are smart they will tell the same tired ol stories that everyone complains about. He doesn't treat me like he used to, or she wont go down on me anymore. She is always out shopping, he always has his nose in the TV blah blah blah. Ladies if you have a good man at home that's treating you right don't tell your girlfriends and fella's if you have a lady at the house that is a complete tramp in the bedroom but a straight laced lady out of it, don't tell your buddies. If you try to tell everyone how green it is on your side of the fence ladies and gents your setting yourselves up for a whole lotta peoples trying to jump the fence into your yard.

I digress, My point is, as men we have no right to choose whats best for a woman. I saw this on a bumper sticker that I thought said it all pretty good. "If you cant trust me with a choice how can you trust me with a baby". I think we have all seen it at least once if your over 30 that is (Cause lets face it when your in your twenties you really don't pay to much attention to other people's kids), where you see people that have kids, and you think those poor kids. You have to have a license to own a dog, but anyone can have kids how screwed up is that.

Relationship Rant-POLL

To bring this busy week to an end-I am going to take it easy and give you a poll to ponder over the weekend.  I am so sorry to everyone that I have been slacking off on the blog front-I still love you all, but I have a new project I am working on for a friend of mine that is taking up more time then I had assumed.  Please forgive me, and I promise to catch up with you all.  So lets get on with it shall we...

What attracts you to the opposite sex?

I will go first...

I like a man that has ambition and goals, but superficially he needs to have good looks too!

Queen Peeves

Well it is that time again folks- you know the times when we get to know eachother a little better by telling eachother what really pisses us off.  Those little pesky things that your friends or spouses do that make you want to rip their eyes out! 

Well, today I would like to tell you that I absolutely cannot stand it when my man has 'man PMS'.  Yes that is right -'P MAN S'  is what I like to call it!  Who said that Jebus did not give men the ability to menstruate?  Of course he did, its named after them MENstruate for dogs sake!  He just did not give them the tangible part of it, since he is a man -we got the shit end of the stick.

So he has crazy mood swings, like one minute he will be all bummed out or pissy, and the next minute he is all like so you want veggie burgers for dinner?  Like WTF just happened, who are you and what the eff did you do with my man?  Its like freakin aliens took over his body and they are here to serve me all of a sudden.... then twenty minutes later its a complete 180 and hes an a$$ again.  Since men were not born with the ability to communicate or wear their emotions-us ladies are required to tippy toe around the matter, think that we did something wrong and let these mood swings infuriate us.

So my dear readers- why cant 'P MAN S' be the same for both sexes?  Why cant men just be like-oh its that time of the month again dear- and I am all over the place-up, down, laughing, crying.... and admit they are a mess just like us women?

NEW SEGMENT: Relationship Rant PLAYLIST-Song 1

Okay y'all, (yup still obsessed with this word) I have yet another awesome segment to try out!  When I am feeling low, music has a way of empowering me.  Especially when it concerns men or relationships.  A lot of my favorite songs are relationship rants, but with chords and melody's. 

So what better way to cheer yourself up, get back at an ex, or mend a broken heart then to turn on your favorite song, and sing like nobody's watching.  (I do this in my car all the time, and I probably looked like a freak, until Lord Jebus ((cant say the real lords name in vane)) invented the law that you cant talk on your cell which led to the invention of hands free devices, which makes everyone look like a freak-yay I finally fit in).

So my awesome readers, here is song 1 of the Relationship Rant Playlist.... (sorry if you hate country music, but listen to it, or there is no telling what Jebus will do to you!)



PS-If you have any Playlist requests, comment below or email me.

Razor Burned: Bachelor Party UPDATE!

Queen,

So you may remember me, I am the crazy girl who was freakin about my man going to a bachelor party on July 3rd.  Well the time came and went, and wow... do I need to rant!  So I have not heard anything really about the night.  He did not come home until five am, and he was drunker then drunk, but nothing too unusual.  Except for the fact that he shaved.... well um down there.  He does this a few times a year, but I found it peculiar for him to do this before a bachelor party?  Like who was he planning on showing his shit to?  Did he do this in preparation for the strippers?  Should I be concerned?  I know if I did that he would freak!

I asked him why he did it, and he said because he was shaving his head so he kept going, well that is funny because he shaves his head once a month at least, and not the rest of his man parts.   Usually when he does that he will do everything, his armpits etc. (yeah I know my man shaves his pits-weird I know).

Other then that nothing out of the ordinary.  They were pissed because the strippers charged them $100 for the booth, but no mention of what happened or any funny stories??? Perhaps they are keeping quiet while I am around, but I still cannot get this whole shaving thing out of my mind.  I just don't get it.  I know women shave their lady parts in preparation for a 'good time', so I am sure it is the same for men.  Perhaps your male readers could give me some advice...  I guess the only one that got razor 'burned' was me!

The Man Cold

So I don't know about the rest of you gals out there, but when I am sick I am really sick.  If I am not completely and utterly sick then I carry on with my life as usual.  I go to work, I cook, clean, exercise, smoke my cigarettes and enjoy my glass of wine, along with all of life's other joys.  However, when I am really sick, I just want to put myself out of this misery and go back to bed.

But for some reason my husband expects me to stick toilet paper up my nose, drink some tea and get on with it.  I get no sympathy.  There is laundry to fold, dinner to be made, and he has some heavy duty video games to play--  A$$.  I could be sicker then a dog and one minute he will tell me to relax, and the next he is complaining about the house being a mess and how he has had to do evvverrything (insert whiny tone here).  On the other hand when he is sick it is the end of the freakin world.  I call it the man cold!  You know when men are sick, they expect us to do everything for them, while the snivel and cough on the couch.  When I am sick I unpack the dishwasher, I make my own tea, I do it all, but when he is sick, its over.  All I hear is I am so sick, I don't want to do anything.  But when I am sick all I get is complaints about how he has so much to do.

So this morning when I woke up and my throat felt like I ate a weed wacker for breakfast, I immediately wished I was a man so I could call the boss tell her I ain't coming, and sit down on the couch where I could watch wonderful daytime TV, but I am sorry Ellen, Day's, Oprah and all my day time TV friends, I am not a man, so I have work to do.

Whats Wrong With A Older Woman?

Why is it that men don't want a 40 something woman with a young child? Is it, that they want a 20 something with perky breasts and no brain? Are men really afraid of a strong intelligent woman in her 40's with kids? I think men are afraid of intelligent women in general. They seem to want someone they can dominate easily................ Am I wrong?

The only guys that try to pick me up either are too young, or they don't have anything, no car, no job, and no ambition.  Why do men want to date young women, who are immature, and will end up leaving their asses for the next financially established man that comes along.

Tuning Him Out

Queen of the Rant,

So me and my boyfriend and a friend of ours are driving home from work yesterday and my man keeps asking me questions, some of them he had to ask twice because I simply was not listening.  I can tell he is getting a little miffed that he keeps having to ask me and say my name, and finally he says to his friend, she does not listen to me as you can see.  So I reply, I am sorry but sometime I just tune you out.  Well that was it, he went crazy, it obviously made him mad, but I was just being honest. I mean when you are around men as much as I am you tend to just not listen after a while.  I hear pieces of the conversation like boobs this, and beer that, but honestly if the conversation is not intriguing or does not involve me I simply tune it out.  It is from years of listening to some of the stupidest conversations in the world- the man conversation.  They never talk about anything serious, and nothing with emotion so truthfully it is quite boring.  So whats the big deal you have to ask me twice, whoopie- do you know how many effin times I have had to ask you a question to get a response out of you while you are playing video games or watching UFC?  Having a conversation with a man is like pulling teeth!  Not to mention I just got off work and my mind is still half there and half asleep, so leave me alone and go back to your useless conversation about boobs and beer.

Pimply Faced College Guys or Boobalicious Waitress?

So I am at the pub last night for some delicious crab legs which are super cheap on Thursdays, and when my waitress comes to deliver the food its like blam BOOBS!, right there in front of me, I could see almost everything.  I am a girl, and straight and I must confess I could not help but stare, ironic if you read the visitors rant about wandering eyes below, sorry hun!

So there is this table beside us, they look like five kids that are not old enough to be there and have had wayyy to much to drink.  Pimply faced college kids that are finally of age.  I can hear them from across the room, commenting on her endowments and such, and at first she is tolerating it.  I did not know if I was on her side because quite frankly she was kind of asking for it.  But women's lib is women's lib, so I stuck by my fellow woman.

By the end of the dinner these guys are out of control, so I ask her, how do you do it.  She jokes it off, but I told her that is why I could not waitress.  If I had guys in there like that I would have put a laxative or six in that jug a beer, that would send them packing!  What do you think, whose fault is it?

Sad To Be Single

Queen,

You know I never thought I would say this but I miss being in a committed relationship.  Now when I am dating guys they only want one thing, and then they want me gone.  I dreamed of the day I would be single and do not wish to have my ex back, just someone that wants a commitment, which I cannot find.  The ones that say they want one do not sound sincere, and the ones that say they don't well, who wants them anyway!  I get scared thinking that I will be alone forever but I do not want to settle for some loser.  WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD MEN GONE?

Cheating on a Gem

I am so sick and tired of hearing how all these stupid men are cheating on their beautiful wives.  First there was Tiger Woods, now Sandra Bullock, David Letterman, David Boreanaz, Mel Gibson, Larry King, and the list goes on and on.  I just do not understand what would make a man happy if these women can't.  I am not famous, nor rich, so how can I expect my man not to cheat when all these guys do it, and they have it all.  Not to mention these women are drop dead gorgeous, and I am not.  A lot of them have children together, it all makes me sick.  Talk about not knowing you have a good thing til its gone!  I hope your wives leave you, as you are all sorry excuses for men and do not deserve to be where you are at.

Hiding Behind Masculinity

Queen,

Why do men have to hide their emotions.  I mean women have no problem speaking their minds, but when something is bothering my man, he just does not talk.  I poke and prod trying to get it out of him, and sometimes it is not even about me, yet he still does not talk.  If men would just tell us what is bothering them we could leave them alone, or try to resolve it, but not talking makes things worse, and makes it hard for us to focus on other things like our jobs, families and life in general.  Please guys, speak your mind, let it out we won't judge you or think you are any less of a man, promise.