What More Can A Chick Do To Spice Things Up?

Queen-

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year, and the affection was very much there. After his inguinal hernia surgery (I supported him emotionally, physically, and financially). After that, I read a message about him meeting up with an old flame using my car. Claims he never went, but no proof, so have no idea. Since then, things started to diminish (to now non-existing). This has been an ongoing issue. Every day, I sit on the chase on one side, and he sits on the couch. No effort on his part to initiate anything more than dinner. Tried the damsel in distress saying I was cold while he had the covers. . . this dame got her own cover after it was ignored. I have tried talking to him, but that turns into him shutting down and me feeling worse. Tried positive reinforcement. Initiating it, you ask? I try to lay on him, but there's always an excuse to get up, or he "gets too uncomfortable easily".

There are only three pop kisses a day at the most: Goodbye, Goodnight, "Random" after I pick him up from work. Yes, you read right, I take him to work and wait an hour to pick him back up. We joke around about us being like Zack and Miri because I wake him up and we ride everywhere. Only time the kisses are open mouth/in any romantic gestures are in the morning when he goes to exit my car, and I am not a morning person.

This lack of affection is really affecting our biweekly sex life (during the afternoon on a Sunday in the living room). Never get kissed for that either. Well, it affects me anyway. If he doesn't ring the bell, he then tells me to finish it myself and he zones out to the TV if I do so. There have been attempts to spice things up, but that didn't get things going. He lost interest within minutes of me dressing up like a cop. Our night at a hotel didn't even involve cuddling. Got rejected when trying to wake him up enough to want to fool around. Only hot day we had was when he used syrup in the kitchen. Tried to rekindle that, but that never gets very far.

So, when is there decent interaction? All I pretty much get is the flirty/picking on each other type in the car or in a store. As soon as we get home, it all stops and we just sit on the furniture until bed. You would think that would encourage some intimacy. We are full size people on two separate full size mattresses (we thought we bought a queen on Craigslist, but we got screwed over). We can both fit on a full size, but with him being over six feet and 360+ lbs, it does not give him much space to sprawl out without me being scared to stretch and fall off.

He claims that he wants to be more affectionate/sexual, but at this point, they are just words coming out of his mouth. I try to accept it, but he sees the disappointed look in my face constantly. I have even taken a brief break in the relationship due to this issue. I am 28 and he is 31, why are we acting like this?

What more can a chick do?

Tag - Your It

So Novie tagged me, and I have never been tagged before, but I think what I am supposed to do is answer these questins Novie asked, and then tag some other people and give them new questions to answer...

PS-Don't be shy folks-just becasue I did not ask you does not mean you cannot comment below with your answers-I love getting to know you all!

So here it goes.... Novie asked me...

1.What was your fondest childhood memory?

Going to live with my dad.  I used to get to go over the summer, and I loved it, and then we got to live with him full-time, and I loved the land, his garden, the fresh fruit and berries, horse back riding-the whole of it was just great.

2. How was your first kiss?

Awful- the guy had no lips, and I was so nervous-I hated the way his mouth tasted, ewww just thinking about it creeps me out for some reason, I guess I was expecting it to be like the movies and it was not!

 
3. Where do you think is the best place to retire?

Somewhere hot, like Jamaica or Barbados, maybe Greece.

4. If given the chance to speak to God face to face, what would you tell Him?

I would ask him when it is my turn.  When is it my time to be happy.  Why did he put me here so I would be hurt, when do I get a break.

5. Do you consider yourself LUCKY?

Not at all-I have only won one thing in my life and it was for doing some survey in University and I got fifty dollars to the bookstore.

6. Are you aggressive or the shy type?

I think I have both traits.  I can be aggressive in certain situations and shy in others.  

7. Cake or Ice cream?

Ice Cream-chocolate-and none of this ice milk crap-the real deal! 

Now I am going to tag the following people and you must answer these new questions...

Chrissy at A Fresh Start With Kalei

Java at Never Growing Old

Jewels at Turning 30

Frisky Virgin

Fabuleslie at Give Me Paws

Jen at Slumber Designs

Decubitus 5

Beks at Princess Diaries

Here are your questions...

1. What is your favorite day of the week?

2. Cats or dogs?

3. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

4. If you could have one super power what would it be?

5.  When you were younger, what did you dream of being when you grew up?

6.  What is your favorite quote?

7.  What is your favorite TV show/sitcom?

A Letter To My Soon To Be Ex-Wife

Queen,

I wrote this to my ex, and I would like to get some feedback from your readers if at all possible.

Dear Future Ex-Wife,

I love you and I am going to miss you.

I can't live without sex.

The sex is infrequent. And it is hurried. Oral sex is off the table. In fact, your breasts have been off the table for 2 years now. Once a month is ridiculous. And when I ask for it, it is pity sex, which is the worst.

The rejection I constantly receive is humiliating. It used to make me feel as if I was ugly, or unworthy of being loved. Then I realized that I am actually in amazing shape, and I am in better shape then when we were married. And I am a decent human being, who provides for his family, is a great dad, gets you gifts and pays attention. I wish to have some warmth, even a hug, from someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I am sick of being made out that I am an over demanding freak.

Being tired doesn't cut it. I'm the one doing the laundry, making lunches, picking up all the slack for everything in the house. I'm tired, and I'm really tired of all the excuses. And I was never tired of you, or listening to you, until now.

Sometimes, I would even just love a hug, and a passionate kiss. And you are unable or unwilling to do so.

I have discussed it with you. I have been more than attentive. And where you have asked me to improve myself, I have. You just happen to not want to change anything.

I can't spend the rest of my life hoping that one day you will love me, be physically warm, or interested in me sexually. It's not reasonable to think that at the age of 65, you will finally turn around...why would anyone wait that long for someone who is so uncaring.

I am sure there is one woman who will love me for me, and will not hesitate to show me. I honestly thought it was you. That is why I married you, why I hug you, why I go to work, why I listen to how your day was, what you are interested in doing.

So now I am saving my money so I can get a bachelor apt for myself, and mentally preparing for everything I need to give up.

I am ok to start all over again. Others have done it, and I am so fed up, I am not going to even argue about any of the possessions.

I am going to miss seeing our son. I will continue to provide support for him. But honestly, you are so vindictive that you will turn him against me, and I really just want him to grow up strong and healthy, so I am not going to bother fighting with you. Just do the best that you can, and please, keep in mind our son should have a positive image of both of us. For my own emotional stability, I can't be around you.

In about 2 months our life is going to change dramatically. And to me, I can't wait. I really just want someone to love. And that is an adventure I really wish to take.

My one regret is not having done this sooner.

Take care.

Relationship Rant PLAYLIST Song 4

Okay WOWSA-I have like 6 new followers since Friday-that is freaking amazing-it must be all these awards and stuff.  In fact, I got another award last week from The Scoop On Poop called the Beautiful Blog Award.  Scoop-you are beautiful for giving me this award-poop and all!

Can you believe this, not only do I have substance, and versatility, but now I have a beautiful blog too.  Oh me oh my-I have such a wonderful set of readers.



IN order to accept this award and pass it on I must... give you seven more facts about myself and pass it onto 5 more deserving blogs... so here we go....

1.  My middle name is Anne, as I am half Irish and half Hungarian.   I am named after Anne of Green Gables but I do not look a thing like her.

2.  I love horses and dream of owning my own at some point in my life.

3.  I love to sing and I have been singing since I was like 12, I have even won some money for it and scholarships, but I never got my dream of being Celine's opening act.

4.  I love the water.  I want to live by the water, and I find it so fun and relaxing.  There is nothing better then being at the beach with drink in one hand and cigarette in the other.

5.  I also love gardening.  I do not know why, I guess I got it from my dad.  I just love watching things grow, like I gave them life.  There is something about gardening and getting your hands dirty that is so stress relieving. 

6.  I am a sucker for celebrity gossip.  Yes I am ashamed that I know every horrible thing they do.  My most recent obsessions are Lindsay Lohan and the Gosselin Drama.

7.  I am also obsessed with the following TV shows.
Pretty Little Liars
90210
Gossip Girl
American Idol

And now-5 more blogs that I love...

The Beach Wive Diaries
This is such a neat blog.  There are two bloggers one on the East Coast and one on the West.  They share all their likes, dislikes and differences.  However, they make me jealous that I do not live on a beach with drink in hand.

Love Actually
If you ever need great ideas to spark the romance in your relationship, go here.  This blog gives you the best gift ideas and make-up ideas if you have a fight lol.

Surviving Seventeen

So even if you are not 17 this blog is great.  She has the writing gift, and treats her blog like her diary.  Quite grown up for a 17 year old, but perhaps that is why it appeals to me.

My Husband Misunderstood Me When I Said I Was Bi

I just started reading this blog, but she is fun.  I love wacky women that are not afraid to tell us whats on their mind.

The Adventures of Cinderita

Again, I just started reading this one as well, but she is sooo bubbly and fun I had to recommend her blog.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

And now folks, the segment you have all been waiting for, my Relationship Rant PLAYLIST Song 4 drum roll please....

QUEEN PEEVES

Wow, what an exciting week eh?  I made some new friends, I got some awards, blog life is good.  I am so happy I got to share a few blogs that I enjoy reading, and I love this cycle of blog awards as I get to find out who they pass them onto and in the end what blogs they recommend.  This is great not because of the fame-well maybe a little-but more because of the new prospectives and advice I gain from new readers and followers.  So to my new followers-welcome-now get to work lol.

Anyways since it is Friday before a long weekend I am not going to depress you with relationship problems, but rather just give you a chance to release some tension (not in that way you sicko) by sharing your peeves with me.

I will go first!

My man mumbles-it drives me mad.  Half the time I cannot even hear what he says and the other half I think I hear it, but I cannot make it out, so I assume I heard one thing and then he will be like I just told you I wanted the wrench.  Oh sorry hun, I thought you said go sit on the bench.

At first I thought it was me, so I cleaned the ears and did a self hearing test, nope all good in those departments.  Now after over five years-I am not the only one that says to him-speak up-pronounciate your words- we talk to him like English is his second language lol.

He even admits he is a mumblin man.  However, it is a problem especially when in certain situations, like driving, go right he will say and then I will be like- no I am okay-and he will be like no go right here, and I am like oh I thought you asked if I wanted a bite, by then we are the freakin highway passing our destination, and I suddenly have an urge for pizza.

So whats your peeve?  I am sure your loved ones aggravate you with some little folly... do share!

Relationship Rant: POLL

Well you are all too amazing.  Thank you for your wonderful advice.  I know when people put time into things, and you all do that so well.  I feel you really do truly want to help me and others with their relationship rants and problems.  I am so glad to be able to call you my friends, and I will try to give you all the same appreciation by visiting your blogs and being helpful-just like all of you have been to me.

So I am a busy Queen today, so I only have time to put this quick poll out to all of you awesome readers and followers.....

This poll was inspired by A Day in The Wife as her funny story about her boss finding out about her blog made me laugh... so I have a juicy question that I want answered by you all...

Do your friends and family know about your blog?

PS-Follow me so you never miss a rant!

Send me your rants, and get advice from me and my readers-c'mon people we are in a recession and you are still paying for therapy???

Queen Peeves

Well it is that time again folks- you know the times when we get to know eachother a little better by telling eachother what really pisses us off.  Those little pesky things that your friends or spouses do that make you want to rip their eyes out! 

Well, today I would like to tell you that I absolutely cannot stand it when my man has 'man PMS'.  Yes that is right -'P MAN S'  is what I like to call it!  Who said that Jebus did not give men the ability to menstruate?  Of course he did, its named after them MENstruate for dogs sake!  He just did not give them the tangible part of it, since he is a man -we got the shit end of the stick.

So he has crazy mood swings, like one minute he will be all bummed out or pissy, and the next minute he is all like so you want veggie burgers for dinner?  Like WTF just happened, who are you and what the eff did you do with my man?  Its like freakin aliens took over his body and they are here to serve me all of a sudden.... then twenty minutes later its a complete 180 and hes an a$$ again.  Since men were not born with the ability to communicate or wear their emotions-us ladies are required to tippy toe around the matter, think that we did something wrong and let these mood swings infuriate us.

So my dear readers- why cant 'P MAN S' be the same for both sexes?  Why cant men just be like-oh its that time of the month again dear- and I am all over the place-up, down, laughing, crying.... and admit they are a mess just like us women?

NEW SEGMENT: Queen Peeves

Thanks to Crystal Jigsaw (why do men scratch their balls in public?) and Wife Advice (being married from a mans point of view) I have come up with a new segment to keep you all awwwing and ewwwing at my blog! :)

I will call it Queen Peeves and it is where you, me, and the weird nosey guy sitting beside me can share our pet peeves about our husbands, wives, friends, family, co workers, pets, and nosey weird men!

I know your probably wondering what is the difference between pet peeves and rants!  Well, the truth is there is not much of a difference, perhaps they will be shorter, and involve sillier, stupid, irritating things that our loved ones do!  Where as a rant is just yelling and screaming about anything and are usually maybe a little more serious in nature??  Maybe??

Do not worry I will go first, just to get the ball rolling...

So it infuriates me when my husband has dreams and then wakes up and acts like they are real!  The worst was when he had a dream about catching me cheating on him (which I would never even dream of doing-no pun intended) and he wakes up and is all mad at me.  I ask him why and he tells me about his dream.  This went on all day, like he really thought it was true and that the truth was telepathically being radio-waved through to his dreams??? 

The only time I have ever dreamed something and thought it was true was when I drempt about putting the ice cream away and the next day I found it in the cupboard-put away-just not in the right place!

So now it is your turn, tell me I am not the only one with a peeve to share....