I wrote this to my ex, and I would like to get some feedback from your readers if at all possible.
I love you and I am going to miss you.
I can't live without sex.
The sex is infrequent. And it is hurried. Oral sex is off the table. In fact, your breasts have been off the table for 2 years now. Once a month is ridiculous. And when I ask for it, it is pity sex, which is the worst.
The rejection I constantly receive is humiliating. It used to make me feel as if I was ugly, or unworthy of being loved. Then I realized that I am actually in amazing shape, and I am in better shape then when we were married. And I am a decent human being, who provides for his family, is a great dad, gets you gifts and pays attention. I wish to have some warmth, even a hug, from someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I am sick of being made out that I am an over demanding freak.
Being tired doesn't cut it. I'm the one doing the laundry, making lunches, picking up all the slack for everything in the house. I'm tired, and I'm really tired of all the excuses. And I was never tired of you, or listening to you, until now.
Sometimes, I would even just love a hug, and a passionate kiss. And you are unable or unwilling to do so.
I have discussed it with you. I have been more than attentive. And where you have asked me to improve myself, I have. You just happen to not want to change anything.
I can't spend the rest of my life hoping that one day you will love me, be physically warm, or interested in me sexually. It's not reasonable to think that at the age of 65, you will finally turn around...why would anyone wait that long for someone who is so uncaring.
I am sure there is one woman who will love me for me, and will not hesitate to show me. I honestly thought it was you. That is why I married you, why I hug you, why I go to work, why I listen to how your day was, what you are interested in doing.
So now I am saving my money so I can get a bachelor apt for myself, and mentally preparing for everything I need to give up.
I am ok to start all over again. Others have done it, and I am so fed up, I am not going to even argue about any of the possessions.
I am going to miss seeing our son. I will continue to provide support for him. But honestly, you are so vindictive that you will turn him against me, and I really just want him to grow up strong and healthy, so I am not going to bother fighting with you. Just do the best that you can, and please, keep in mind our son should have a positive image of both of us. For my own emotional stability, I can't be around you.
In about 2 months our life is going to change dramatically. And to me, I can't wait. I really just want someone to love. And that is an adventure I really wish to take.
My one regret is not having done this sooner.
Take care.
