Begging To Be Caught

Queen,
I am single and dating a man who is living with another woman. I met him while traveling for work at a client site. In a nutshell, that's the background-he is cheating.

Before he left for work the other day, he asked me if he can have my underwear??? I mean, I thought that was a weird request. But I was like, “um, okay”. He said he misses me so much that he wanted something of mine. I suggested taking my fuckin’ luggage too, that way I don’t have to pack lol. He insisted he only wanted my (used) underwear and thanked me for the offer of my luggage.

Anyway, I guess he brought my underwear home and he said he tucked it in the back of his closet – where it has resided for …a long time. About a month ago, his girlfriend asked him to pick up the dry cleaning. He said it was a weird request because he has only picked it up once before during their entire relationship. He gets to the dry cleaners and at the very front of all the dry cleaning was that pair of underwear. He thought he was so slick by just throwing it out – I told him she is sending you a message…The message being SHE KNOWS YOU ARE FUCKING AROUND!!!

Don’t you think his girlfriend knows and was sending him a message? Bringing home my underwear? He is begging to be caught!!

To My Boob Job Girlfriend

To My Beautiful Mexican Girlfriend:

I hope you enjoy the new boobs, that I helped to buy for you.
I didn't know you were going to leave, especially after all I did for you.
especially after supporting you for 2 years, helping you get legal, and even helping your mom get legal.

But this is not about posting bail for your brother, loaning your niece 1400 bucks or moving your apartment 3 times.  This is about you, about us. I miss you, and I do not even know why after you left me.  Did you find something better?  Were you with someone else while we were together?  I thought we were happy, I did everything to make you happy.


I think you were just using me, I do not even know if you ever cared about me or if it was all just lies.

I have been drinking every day, I'm so depressed. Depressed knowing how much I loved you.  I have so many questions, and you have not given me any answers.  Will I ever see you again?

It's been 6 months now, I cannot snap out of it. I do not know if I ever will?

But of course you could care less.

Relationship Poll

Well bloghers and bloghims, I am at last going on vacation for two whole weeks.  That means sadly you may not hear from me until August 9th, unless my vacation is boring, and I revert to blogging to pass the time. 

I know it feels like I am abandoning puppies, but I must take some time to clear my head, and come up with new amazing rants and adventures to take you all on.  I am going camping so trust me there will be oodles to rant about when I get back.

Please do not unfollow me, in fact this is a great opportunity to tell everyone you know just how wonderful this blog is!

So before I bid you adieu I want to put this poll out there for you to ponder.


What strategies have you used to get over an ex?

Also, while I am away, give me a stockpile of new rants by emailing me!
And for all you crazy people that have not started following me, you better do it right now!

You Married The Guy You Cheated On Me With!

Queen,
So we got together some years ago; after one date you asked me to be yours.
I was nervous since we only knew each other for four weeks but I decided to take a leap of faith
You said I was lucky to have you because my ex had cheated on me and you said you would never do that to me.
I was your first for a lot of things, which I felt special to be. You supported my decision to do what I wanted to for me.
Never before had I felt like I truly was lucky, to be with someone like you, who really loved me.
We had very little in common, which was funny. Different music, culture, food, and race. All of that didn't matter - we both seemed happy together.
A part of me felt something was wrong...I ignored it thinking it was me paranoid about nothing.
I am offered a job in another state...maybe it was wrong, but I felt like I had to leave you behind.
I wanted to be an asshole so I treated you like crap as I kicked you out of my life so I can take the job.
I drive home full of regret and drive back to you hoping you'd forgive me for what I had done.
You seemed to have forgiven me, but I knew I had lost your trust.
However, I hoped that you would learn to trust me again.
I start to work really hard at work and in school, trying to create a life that would be good for us both.
I end up working too much and schooling as well, sometimes going days without talking to you.
You tell me about your "friends" you have and I know they were guys. However, I turn the other cheek
because you told me you would never cheat on me because you didn't even want to blow these guys.
I let you live your life not wanting to be controlling feeling like I had to give more to you so I can be forgiven.
One day months later, its more quiet than usual after you told me the night before how much we need
to go to a theme park and spend time together. The day that things flipped upside down and spun out of
control, I felt like something was ripped apart inside me. You told me you didn't want to be with me any longer and not giving me a straight answer and making me wonder. You tell me to hang on because you still wanted me in your life one way or another. I blamed myself thinking this was 110% my fault, and try to show you that I really loved you and still called you my girlfriend. Months go by and I drive myself nuts trying to win you back and found out there was another. I get fed up with competing and confront you both causing a scene, but funny I'm hearing the other didn't know about me. I find out more info that really was interesting...you were banging him on the day we were celebrating my birthday. Through others in your circle of friends and family, I found
out you were banging half of So Cali! One guy, two guys at once, even three guys in a two hour space.
Sending the kiddies upstairs while you did the deed in your family's house bathroom, were you smoking weed?
Sure you admit only after it was all said and done - I already found out so what was there to lose? The guy I was competing with. The guy I really hated. The guy who said he had no clue about me, later do I realize there was a hole in the story. He was porking you from the very beginning of the time you started to cheat.
Obviously it was a cover story so I wouldn't beat the snot out of him.
He acts like he wants nothing to do with you. Later after I walk away, you say that I should have learned to be more patient...whatever that means.
Three years later I happen to see you were still working at the place in the building I was hired for a job at.
I see you, but I'm pretty sure you didn't see me - I decide to not work at the place cause I didn't want to see your face.
Now forward to today, I see you have the surname of the guy that told me the final months of our relationship was really a lie. Amazing how things turn out despite the pain you caused, I really hope you don't do what you shouldn't have been doing. Cheating on me, while your family was asleep.
And of course, a part of me will always wonder - could things have been different?
Maybe in another lifetime...
Although if you were to come up to me and wanted to start over, I would say no way because I don't love you and never could again. What am I feeling? Maybe territorial - should have been me? Maybe a hurt ego? I wasn't good enough so you became a slut meeting random guys. Maybe disgust? Innocence you showed... that was it, it was only a show. Maybe stupid? Yeah that, too!
For the last four years, I have been with another - one that has been not only loving but likes for me to keep tabs on her cause it shows I love her.
Now I am about ready to control my destiny further and buy myself a huge house, my father a car.
Alls
All that bling you always liked to see on those rap videos on MTV.
You wanted to visit your family in Southeast Asia, can you imagine what this latin guy could do - could have flown us both just to make you smile.
Miss me yet?!
Man I feel better!

Party Girl

Queen,
My girlfriend went home to visit her family for a week. She, basically partied every night with her friends. She parties alot with her little sister, and all her friends. So if she is out until 4 or 5 am, I get the excuse that she is with her family. but it's more like her sister and a slew full of guys. Anyway my issue is that she didn't even wan't to come home. So much that she extended her stay an extra night. And the day she was coming home she was texting me: "I wish I could stay :( "

I'm so flustered, I don't even know what to think anymore. Her side is that she does not get to see her family and friends and misses them very much. But it's not exactly a "Brady Bunch" family visit. Because she just parties everynight there. I fully understand she misses her family and wan't to give her space. But shouldn't she be excited to come home? Also her job requires her to be working on the road alot, probably 10 to 15 days per month, where she also likes to party late at night with her regular crew of friends that work with her. She went to Dublin Ireland for 3 weeks, and would call me every night. One night she didn't call me until like midnight my time and it was 6 am there. She said she was chasing her girlfriend all night cause she was super drunk.

I do have some issues with woman, based on past relationships. And I realize that I probably shouldn't have gotten into one until I worked out these problems, but it is too late, and we are in love. I can't get over the fact, of a past relationship with someone. Who says they love you everyday, you tell eachother about your deepest intimate emotions, to later find out that they have been fucking behind your back the whole time. (My so called friend who I put on my couch, called and told me after he moved away) so that's how I found out.

She is always asking me to marry her? Which is confusing to me, as her life of partying does not seem to fit this criteria. And before she left we found out she was pregnant, but decided she did not want it. I did but I know I can't force her, as it is a dual decision. But she just went and partied it up.

This is quite a messed up situation, I don't know if anyone has been there, or has any advice for me to say to her. Because she always seem to come up with a likely story, and turns it around on me. Which makes me feel like I am wrong. I dunno, maybe I am.

Double Dumped

Get this Queen...

My ex-girlfriend came over on Wednesday, she wanted to talk and told me that she still loves me.  I asked her to marry me a month prior to our break-up.  You see I am not used to having a girlfriend that thinks like me, that cares and want to see them do great things with their life, and get through the hard times together.  That is what couples do, one hand washes the other, and walk beside me, not behind me, I mean we are in this together right.  She said that I treat her better then her last long term boyfriends have, and that she was simply not used to it. 

Then the next day, she calls me and tells me that she has to take care of herself and that she has to do what’s best for her and that no one has ever took care of her before, and I said that’s great, I can help if you want me to.  The B&%#$ has not returned my phone calls since!

The Day I Mooned My Ex

About a month after she and I broke up, my birthday was coming up, and she called one day and asked if I would agree to her taking me out for a drink. Now, I know full and well all about the 'no contact' deal, and I violated it, like we all have. It's not the end of the world. I let know I'd think about it, not sure right now, and feels a little weird. But within ten minutes of getting off the phone, my little plan began to transpire. I have a twisted sense of humor, definitely dry, abstract. But my humor isn't sick or evil. She could've been a jerk, but my plan isn't to instill psychological turmoil.

She had to get a lot of stuff of mine back to me. She'd been saying she'd drop them off for about 2 wks, but was resting on that. I agreed for her to take me out, asking that she bring the stuff along. To go along w/that whole 'no contact,' be assured I never initiated first contact.

We went out, I had an Irish car-bomb. We went somewhere else after, bickered about some stuff, and then she dropped me off. I was just about to get out of the car, put my hand on her shoulder or neck, can't remember, kind of like an 'ok, cool, bye' which somehow resulted in her leaning over and a quick kiss?

Anyway, I got out, loosened my belt, and MOONED HER. I glanced back to get the reaction. She was frozen. I just walked away...

I mean really, do you need to beg to them, give them one last 'reconsider' talk?

I highly recommend this. They never expect it. Forego any 12-step self help book. This is bliss. It's harmless, innocent, silly and weird, but not creepy. You're kind of getting back at them, but not in an angry, rage-driven way. You don't look like an idiot. I guarantee they'll give you respect and/or admiration. You'll walk away cool. Mooning is like saying "F you, and I don't give a F, anyway."

(btw, I'm the guy who wrote the cancer/relationship story, which also goes out to the women I've met who survived cancer, made it their be-aatch, and are total dollfaces. Some of them had total douchbags leave them.) Thank you, Queen!