Should I Do It All Over Again?

Hello Queen, I am a 29 year old female with two children ages 6 and 4, I am no longer with the father due to both of use making some grave mistakes, his was being to controlling and mines was being unfaithful. We were together for approx 7 years. I believed that he had been cheating on me which I had no proof of, but due to this I was easily coerced into having affairs with other men, needless to say this caused him to become somewhat violent at times, and to lose alot of respect for me. Although we we have had all these issues it seems as though we still love each other.

Now we have the chance to make amends, we have both gone through alot in our lives, he was raised by his grandmother because his mother died when he was young, and I too was raised by grandparents due to my mother and father not being able to take care of me. He seems to think that the lack of my father being in my life in a real capacity has made me seek out male attention, and that his mother dying when he was young has left him with anxiety about women leaving him. I can see the change in him, and no longer is he the angry person (has had some therapy)he used to be.

For approx. 6 days now we have been thrust together by fate, and I must say that it's been great, and the kids are so happy, but I still have this desire to be with other guys, not sure why just like the fact that I can just have "friends". He took this separation as a reason to get married, I took the chance to get out and meet some men. Well , now he is back and telling me that after all that I did to him, all the men over the past two years, that he does not care and he want to have us become a family again. Do I think he loves me? Sure without any doubt, but I'm having fun. Do I love him? I think so, just worried that I or he will have the same issues.

He has always been there for me, even after I left him for another man who by the way used me and left me for dead, it was him that was there to pick up the pieces, and when I did it again, he was right there. He loves to take care of me, will do anything for me, just don't know why. His argument is that the boys are the most important thing in the world and that is what I should concentrate on, but my family and new friends think that I should just keep doing what I am doing, that I don't need to think about having a relationship for the sake of the kids.

Do I love him- yes, I am sure of this, does he love me- unquestionably. I just can't get past what we went through. I am now finding it easy to find men, he thinks that they are just using me for sex, he says this because they only come round late at night, and a few times a week. Have to admit, none have really been interested in a commitment, but I like getting the attention. Is there anyone out there that can give my an opinion, I am really confused.

Men & Their Mothers

Queen,
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years now. We moved in together about 6 months ago. I knew when I moved in that he didn't have the best relationship with his mother due to some financial issues. She basically had him cosign on something a few years ago, then stopped making payments (without telling him) and he began getting harassing phone calls demanding money, etc.

She told him numerous times she would fix it but never did and he ended up having to clean up her mess. He has loaned her money since then but it never comes without a fight. I'm slowly beginning to learn that this guy loves the drama. He doesn't set boundaries with her and cannot talk to her for long without yelling, name calling, etc. He spends a lot of time with his brothers, ages 12 and 14, and is always going on about their mom and the ways she has screwed him over.

Going over there for dinner has become very unpleasant. My boyfriend fights with his mom over the pettiest things and the boys have become much more disrespectful. He thinks they're just 'at that age' but I personally don't think that behavior is appropriate at any age. I've tried to talk to him about this, but even though he tells me he loves me and wants to settle down with me, he tells me to 'stay out of it' when it comes to his family. I'm disgusted and am seriously considering leaving. He says he loves me and is very nice to me (mostly) but I worry that he will one day treat me the way he's treating his family. Thoughts? Advice?

No Love For His Son... No Love For Me?

Queen of the rant,
I am in love with a man that has a child that he doesn't see. He is a wonderful guy in every way. He states he doesn't see the child because the mother just wanted a baby and does not want anything to do with him now. She won't even accept money because she does not want him to have visitation rights. He has done nothing in court or otherwise to stand up for his rights. They broke up because she was very controlling. He has seen the child once but that is all.  He is from the Philippines and maybe the mother thinks he might take off with the boy. He is now 18 months old. What do you think? I say how can he love me when he does this to his own child. Why wouldn't he fight to see his son?  If he won't fight for his son, what makes me think he will fight for me?  What kind of father will he be to my child one day?  I do not know if he is worth pursuing anymore, but I love him!  Any advice you have would be appreciated.